trip into hell

i cant imagine how this could work for someone...meds never helped me and i think its impossible to be cured...and if i cant get cured its not the right solution to my mind...i also hesitate to agree that someone who claims he got over it is cured when he cant take drugs anymore...this is not a cure because this person is still not back to normal..i think being able to consume something is a proof that you dont have hppd/dp/dr or dont have it anymore... not to forget that my hppd is over and i still struggle with anxiety disorder and cant find any help...its destroying my life and i dont want to get addicted by prescription meds cause it could be that i wont get it prescribed anymore some day and the withdrawl is terrible...life is just a bunch of shit for me because its not only that it doesnt make sense anymore but also i feel seriously depressed most of the time and cant do anything due to incapability of taking drugs in medium to high doses just as enjoying myself in general...im not one of these persons who can live just to distract themselves from living..i have to be able to relax on myself or i want to die..

fuck meds...none of them work and even if it does..its just a temporary patch for symptoms...no treatment, no cure at all....

i felt this way when i had hppd in my early stages...mostly caused by dp/dr..but my point is as long as you worry about it you are not in danger... the other thing is, not so long ago i have read an article about a study in a pharmacy news paper and it said: almost 70% of the people who took substances in thier lives known as so called tranquilizers developed alzheimer in their 60-80s... so if some of you develop alzheimer later in life you can not know if its just why you took benzos or hppd/dp/dr... i think it makes sense that a substance able to make you forget something you normally cant forget is able to lead to alzheimers (cause the brain gets used to it) where you have no longer the choice to remember or not

im stronger than the most people..my problem is not an addiction potential or that i just want to feel better..i want to use it very carefully and rarely in cases of severe panic..and i didnt even touch the tramal bottle yet because im scared i get panic when im on it...so im less likely to get addicted to something in my life again...i just smoke weed very rarely (every 2 month and just for a week) but only if i feel good..the only thing im addicted to is nicotine for 3 month now and even though it makes me feel a bit more relaxed im about to quit again because i dont like the thought of being a smoker...you see im actually a very careful person and full of fears and anxiety if i feel strange somehow which stops me from risky bahavior..

you are right its really good to have the internet just for diagnosing yourself and get some recommendations...but sometimes i think its a curse...

that sounds awful...im so sorry...

man when i said experimenting with altered states i didnt just talk about the group of substances called psychedelics...i mean every kind of substance that puts you in another state of mind...and most if not all people have tryed or will try or even consume something regulary in their lives. i never said drugs are necessary or safe and i dont even think this way...but they arent the opposite either...and constantly telling someone they are dangerous who is taking them regardless of what you say (and he got told hundrets of times already) means spreading anxiety to me..or is useless in the best case. but its ok i know you just want to protect someone from experiencing the same shit you did..

you do not know if its genetic + its very hard to abstain all mind altering substances for the rest of life because its just human nature to experiment with altered states of mind...i dont have hppd anymore but i dont fear to get it back because i already had terrible trips on pretty potent canna oil etc. and it didnt come back.. even though i smoke weed here and there (in small amounts again because i get panic attacks from smoking more)..the thing i do avoid is to do strong mind altering substances and smoking too much weed because as mentioned already i fear panic attacks. the point is i dont recommend taking drugs but i dont try to scare somebody who does and is able to enjoy it..because i think spreading anxiety can also make it worse for some people.

if its not genetics maybe it has to do with a bad setting, mindset, overdose or even (most likely) the bad psychological predisposition caused by the society we are raised by and live in with their shitty values stupid behavior etc. this alone can make you (subconsciousness) insane in the brain without even realizing it and when you expand your consciousness its unavoidable so youre freaking out...and while having a bad trip or using these substances in a bad way (since psychedelics can create solid connections in the brain) there are areas connected in the brain that shouldnt work together or so...which cause the visual distortions etc.... just as when you have the right motive behind and trip in the right way (i guess there is a reason why the shamans have very strict rules in there ritual trips, always doing it the same way) you get the real benefits of psychs....its a pity that we havent learned to use it the right way and somebody told us there are no good drugs out there (fucked up society)... but dont take it too serious its just a theory which to my mind has more potential to be real than most of the others of course they are advantages but with psychological disturbances you are likely not to be able to fully use your greater self-control, happiness, self-efficacy or intelligence...its all one somehow.

man..youre makeing fun of me...dont you...go get a serious alcohol intoxication and just dont bother me with bs.

i have no fixed views but i have enough experience and good knowledge about this topic..so i have good reasons to think so...i just started to discuss here cause the people were so ignorant and tryed to scare me and thegman even though i already know the risks and so on...not to forget that the thegman didnt know that he smoked spice and he wouldnt have done it if he knew it..there wasnt a reason for a lesson again... but its all good man.. i know most people just meant it well..

but how can you say im stupid if you are not judging me in any way??...thats so rediculous...but think what you have to..it seems that you dont care about anything at all...if that isnt a sign of stupidity...nah fuck it...its no use...why am i trying to speak to someone like you..this is the reason why i dont like hppdonline sometimes mescaline can trigger (not cause) hppd just as lsd, dmt, psilocin, lsa, mdma, etc.or even marijuana and prescription meds. ...so its just logical that it has to do with the individual who takes them which doesnt mean that genetics are at fault...n dont forget that there are even natives who use psilocin other psychedelics ritually and i dont think they have such issues cause if so they wouldnt do it anymore. you do judge in specific ways cause you say you dont trust studies that show psychedelics are somehow good but you believe a study or some paper that states that in many cases genetics are the reason for some adverse psychological reactions...of course different genetics affect us in different ways but im absolutely not sure if this means a psychological advantage/disadvantage. i guess you think a bit too critical..but in a bad way

yeah i know what youre talking about but mine came from an overdose while having a panic attack...i never had problems from the about over 300 trips i had before..it was just too much the last time and i freaked out.

thanks...im sorry for you..and i couldnt live this way and even though im sure i wont get hppd back im still careful

its not the same thing ...a liver failure is a much more serious problem and alcohol is causing physical damage..whereas when it comes to hppd no damage in the brain or anywhere else has been proved...which is just logical cause alcohol causes physical damage for sure but for example lsd or psilocin does not so there is no reason to think we have destroyed something..if you think about other substances such as synthetic weed its another story...

no i can ctually smoke small amounts and enjoy it...but when i smoke more iget anxiety or panic attacks...and i decided not to take heroin i got tramal from a friend but i didnt even touch it yet..

how can you say its genetic...it has nothing to do with that...i think everybody has the potential to trigger a bad mental condition while a bad trip due to the way our society works these days (disfunctional families, bullies, wars, idiotic values..thats where bad predispositions come from)... and the way we deal with substances. there are not many people out there without the potential to become ill cause the majority is affected by the madness of the stupid society ...for example the shaman aboriginals who use mescaline regulary have never heard of hppd...and guess what..they live in a better society + they have learned to use psychedelics with the right motive behind them, i bet this is the reason why they cant develope hppd or similar... and even if it would be genetic..there is still no reason to blame the people for bad genetics or saying they are stupid because they want to enjoy something they always enjoyed before..its our nature to use substances to conquer our subconsciousness... and synthetic drugs are another story..im not saying do synthetics..i just want to say there is no reason for being mad at people for what they like/do just because it didnt work for you ...and you know what...i also hate hppdonline sometimes but for another reason...because people always want to tell me im stupid and what i should or shouldnt do when im just asking for experience or help....sometimes i think some people are jealous that they cant do what they once did and loved and thats why they tell me ''dont do it either'' ...i enjoy small amounts of weed again and i will never get hppd back or something...im cured..the only thing i have is that i get panic when i smoke too much...but im not crying around..im facing this shit until i get back to normal and smoke as much as i want...+ its not fair that you tell others what they should do and stupid enough to be mad at them

maybe youre right.. but your response (if true) illustrates that humanity is stupid cause its not very intelligent to state that people who consume something are losers and also that not helping someone with a serious problem is ok just because this person might be taking again something that led to his condition in the first place or at least has the potential to do so...its a sign of how people are judged for doing something which still seems to be a kind of taboo in our society even though everyone consumes various substances in hes life and people have even triggered these conditions with ligitimate medications that the same doctors who are against drugs prescribed to them... just remember that its not the substances themselves who are causing the problem...they just have the potential to trigger it in people with a negative predisposition of a specific kind...so there is no reason for one to blame the people for having tryed something in there lives...the problem is not the substances it is the society we live in that made it possible for these bad mental conditions to exist and be triggered through the expansion of consciousness. why are there people in this world who cant even imagine how painful and boring it is for someone, not beeing able to do what he/she wants to and simply enjoy life while these people can...we just want to be free and have some fun in life...is that too much...its so sad if you ask me..there has to be another way to cure or at least deal with these conditions without judging the innocent.

yeah maybe...man i would like to try some buspirone to see if its able to protect me from panic attacks while tripping...i mean its not that i cant smoke weed at all...but i just can smoke small amounts without panic and i want to be really fucking high again..that would be so nice ... i ask myself if there is a way to get some without these stupid doctors..

XD...nice...im not supporting the idea of taking synthetic drugs at all...but if you enjoyed it..its quite cool... and dont be scared of the afterglow or something...the trip is over and you seem to be pretty tough to be able to enjoy synthetic weed at all with this predisposition...i would be proud somehow

oh come on..thats so typical for hppdonlne.com...one is asking for experience and advice of a specific kind and the only thing he gets is a lesson or people who try to scare him/her...i cant read it anymore...always crying around and telling people dont do it because i cant do it myself...sometimes i think you dont want to help someone or dont want to get any help yourselves. and please dont tell me there is no one out there who had experience with this... nah...fuck it...i wont ask anymore..you always bring me down...

does it matter at all? hppd/dp/dr is hppd/dp/dr and as long as its not gone..its useless to think about it...sorry for being realistic

swim isnt taking any risk at all...as mentioned above swim is done with hppd/dp/dr (he is cured and swore off that shit forever). anxiety/panic attacks/depression arent really his problems anymore too unless he is experiencing medium - strong altered states of a specific kind (like driving too fast in some vehicle) or he takes too much of something and for that reason he needs the aid of a substance able to cancel anxiety/depression of every kind....not a cure..swim knows there is no cure and it will heal over time...but until then he wants to ease/cheer up himself a little ocasionally. he was just asking for advice and your experience...no lessons please

swim = somone who isnt me

my probs were as severe as yours in the first few month (completely debilitating) but i managed to wipe it out over time. now im sufficient my hppd wont come back cause i already had a lot of trips on different heavy drugs since then and i only had panic attacks but no hppd ...and hppd is something i wouldnt care about if it occurs without anxiety or depression...my main issues from the beginning were dp/dr and anxiety...now dp/dr is gone and im left with anxiety which only comes haunting me when i smoke too much weed...or take too much another substance ...for this purpose i need the tramal or something else that could be of help for this purpose. by the way did you try tramal at all?