Syntheso

I think you got out lightly.. five months is nothing man! If you really learned the hard way I am sure you would have a different attitude towards hard drugs. If you want to do cocaine, that's your choice. I'm happy you're better. But if that's all you want to take from your experience, I suggest it is a shame. You would think having HPPD, even for only 5 months, would be enough to impart someone with the idea that health and clarity are so much more desirable then quick fixes and more gambling with your already damaged brain. All it takes is one night where you get a bit drunk.. take a bit too much cocaine. I guess you have to take what you want from your experience though. Saying things like 'cocaine is irrelevant to [my] HPPD' should be brought into question. You have a responsibility in what you write. Someone vulnerable and likely to abuse drugs again might read that and convince themselves it is okay to use cocaine ("if it's okay for him, it will probably be okay for me"!). Even if you don't explicitly advocate doing cocaine again, the fact that you are willing to do cocaine again and imply it in what you write is negative to a recovery board. Wish you all the best. Really hope you don't end up back here, but if you do, I will tell you that I told you so.

I haven't had a look on youtube. I was lucky enough to have a holistic careworker who did mindfulness meditation with me whilst I was receiving psychiatric treatment (on the NHS!). Also I am lucky because my mum's partner is a fantastic psychologist, so we have been doing some sessions tailored for HPPD. They use mindfulness meditation in CBT. If it is available to you, I would recommend practicing mindfulness meditation with a cognitive behavioral therapist who is interested in your case. If not, there are lots of meditation classes around the Western world (presuming you live in the Western world) nowadays. Just google it and see what's around you. You might even be able to find some free classes (often the proper Buddhist ones are free). If not, I am sure you can find stuff online.. just rummage through youtube and see what works for you. Mindfulness meditation is a good start. Stuff for pain relief would also be useful. Most people with HPPD find meditation difficult due to CEV's. You are not trying to get rid of them.. not even necessarily make them calm down. You cannot get rid of them because there is an underlying neurological dysfunction. What you can do is change the way you respond to them. The idea is to just 'perceive' them, and not judge them. You are just witnessing them. This is difficult because if you tell someone not to think about elephants... you're thinking about them, aren't you? So there are techniques to help you achieve this. One is thought labeling. When a thought pops into your head label is, past, present or future. Past: 'that dinner was good' or 'I think I upset Anna last night'. Future: 'I have my English exam next week, yikes'. Judgement: 'my visuals are really intense'. When you respond like this, the thoughts seem to just evaporate. After a while it helps them to stop coming in entirely. Although the full induction is really helpful and part of it as well, focus on breathing and relaxation techniques. The idea is to be fully involved in the present, but not making any judgements. Someone asked the Dalai Lama whether he preferred one or another dish at a restaurant. He responded 'I am Buddhist. It is not in my interest to form a judgement. Each has its own merits' (paraphrase). This is what we need to aim for with the visuals. They are part of our life. The idea is to be at peace with them. In doing so, they will become less noticeable and present. I actually find that the deeper I fall into meditative trance, the more and more intense my visuals get. They get really intense actually. But they become less problematic the more intense they get. This is because the further my focus is attuned, the less value that is ascribed to them. This is just 'witnessing' them. And after sessions when you can do that, you do think about them considerably less. Sitting around thinking about your HPPD all day is a negative thought process. It is negative thought processes that we don't want. We do want to have rational thought processes where we spend a reasonable, rational amount of time considering what might be our next move. But passed a point it becomes obsessive, anxious behaviour. You do sound like you are in a very difficult stage, brain roaring and all that. Time will heal you though, and cognitive work well help. It is really difficult to do cognitive work when your cognition isn't working that well. But there's absolutely no reason why you can't give it a go and maybe surprise yourself. I am sure if you put a lot of work in you can see some benefits. Perhaps quite quickly also. All it takes is one 'breakthrough' and you realise what can be done.

At this moment, yeah. Although I do have a supplemental regime. I am not too sure how much this helps, but in theory it should. Practicing cognitive techniques daily helps/is essential for me. Mindfulness/meditation. Stuff designed for chronic pain relief is useful. CBT for chronic pain, hypnosis for chronic pain etc. It is important not to let the visuals themselves cause psychological distress, which in turn can cause depression, anxiety, lethargy, feelings that you can't do it (when you might be able to if you have the psychological facility) etc. Exercise everyday is also essential. I lack motivation if I do not keep it up. How are you guys doing?

My experience with HPPD; around the age of 17, four years ago, I began experimenting with various drugs: LSD, mushrooms, MDMA, mephedrone, ketamine, methoxetamine, the 2c's, amphetamines.. more. I was particularly interested in the psychedelics. I only smoked weed a bit when I was younger and it didn't agree with me so was never really part of my life. I did have a few terrifying experiences on it though during this 'phase'. I probably had around 20-30 big acid trips, 10-20 shrooms and a good few of the rest. I did a hell of a lot, basically. I don't remember having one bad trip (except for a couple on weed, which was rare). At this time of my life I also was deeply depressed due to breaking up with my first love. It took me around 1-2 years to get over fully. One day - I noticed things were still moving. My friend told me about HPPD. It went around three weeks later. Did some more stuff. It came back. At the time I wasn't making good decisions.. anyway, one day, it stuck permanently. Came and went a bit. But then it became really bad and more permanent, more towards the age of 18 (three years ago), and I realised how much it was affecting my life. The last two years up until the last few months were horrible. I hardly went into uni, spent days sleeping; painful to be awake.. you know the story. Visually, I have visual snow, pulsing in the dark, floaters, CEV's (sometimes), I have experienced things pulse in size dramatically back at the worse times, also seen things turn into things like a school of fish swimming towards my face (after relapsing due to taking some mephederone). Used to have trails. I am not sure what else might be relevant.. if you have any questions, let me know Now I am almost symptom free, and that is how it stays except for after a night drinking. Visuals still there but getting good at not letting them affect my life. Worst symptoms were chronic lethargy, brain fog, cognitive dysfunction. You? What do you expect? I think there is more for you to focus on than doing cocaine. This is a recovery forum for people who have lasting issues from substance use/abuse. You flippantly talk about taking more hard drugs juxtaposed by a 'success story'. The point being, if you continue hard drug use you will most probably no longer be a success story. It is really positive that you are feeling better, congratulations, but it is completely tainted when you say you are willing to throw it all away. What are your priorities? Is it to get high or to get well? You choose. Part of resolving issues with drugs is also having a healthy relationship with them (if you are going to have one). Drug seeking behaviour is not desirable. If you are willing to dice with permanent 'fucking hell', as you call it, to get high; if you are compelled enough to chase a very temporary fix for chronic pain, suffering; do you really think you have a healthy relationship with drugs? I actually find it very contemptible that you suggest I was being non-constructive. Perhaps you do not want to hear someone tell you that you should not take cocaine. But maybe you need to hear it... I'm not trying to take your fun away. I still go out and party, drink heavily sometimes (which I do regret). It does negatively affect my recovery, but cocaine... particularly not a good move as it has a similar action to the responsible inducing drugs. If you don't learn from your mistakes and other people's, what's the point, really? You obviously want to learn the hard way.. Will you at least respond properly? I feel that you didn't address the points made suggest escapism. I will do everything I can to get through to you. I wish I had been wise. Do you want to risk reviewing this post later on in life, in pain, wishing you had followed the words someone tried to get through to you? Being wise sounds better to me..

If you are nearly fully recovered, take that as your final warning: you are incredibly lucky. Honestly man, don't touch coke. There are so many of us who have had huge relapses due to coke/other stimulants. Perhaps those choices have caused lifelong illness when it could have been temporary. Since things seem to currently have been temporary for you, why risk permanency? So many people would wish to be in your position and give things a second shot. You are incredibly naive if you think, "Coke is irrelevant to my HPPD, I've been okay with stimulants recently". You sound like the kid that thinks they are invincible. You might subjectively feel that certain stimulants are not harming you, but you cannot be sure that they are not. For some people HPPD symptoms take a while to become apparent after ingesting a substance. We can actually be objective about this; look at the pharmacology of cocaine. Albeit, quite different, it works on the same systems as LSD, MDMA. Seems quite relevant to me. If you are predisposed to HPPD (which you know you are), it will worsen it. That gate to your visual cortex has been opened. Serotonin (and a whole host of other things) will affect your HPPD. Not just affect it, we know that serotonin worsens/induces HPPD. You have the facts, now, what are you going to do with them? You feeling that it is okay to take certain stimulants has not objective basis. It actually suggests to me that you have an addictive personality (which I can relate to - so not trying to shame you). I made the mistake you seem to be willing to make. I considered MDMA and other stimulants fine to use because they aren't 'hallucinogens' (though they can produce hallucinations) and I didn't notice any obvious worsening from their use. I carried on taking them after my HPPD set in; before it got really bad. It was this that made things permanent for me. Have a serious think before you throw your fortune away.. you are making a life decision. (sorry to be harsh, but this is why we are here on this forum... everything is said with love and your best intentions considered. I wouldn't want anyone to live with this permanently if it can be stopped)

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24816400

This is the new one; http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/head.12378/abstract

I had this idea for a stack: Magnesium L-threonate, gluathione, NAC, piracetam. I am too tired to elaborate right now but hopefully you’ll catch my gist. The basic idea is to attenuate the glutamate system as well as provide some cognitive enhancements, MgT and Piracetam being the main factors in the last point. Gluathione and NAC synergise well, as NAC is a precursor for gluathione, and is a more effective way of getting gluathione (powerful antioxidant) into the nervous system (due to it’s affinity for the NMDA receptor, but for other reasons too, I think). Piracetam IIRC can modulate calcium channels and (thus?) has success in mitigating epilepsy symptoms; it is a cyclic derivative of GABA, thought perhaps to be responsible for some of it's effects. No direct dopaminergic implications for this stack, but is intended to be quite specific (glutamatergic). MgT experimentally upregulates NMDAR’s (only been done in mice I think). I would need to do more research, but potentially I could see these stacking well together and for HPPD; that is the intention with this ’stack’ business-try and find a minimal amount of substances that work well together (synergise) for a purpose. There is also some anecdotal success with these substances alone in HPPD on the forums. Piracetam is the wildcard here. Let me know what you think.. studies to come. Edit: perhaps oxaloacetate and pyruvate would be good additions? http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22129535

My interpretation of this is that they probably test the same SNP's (raw genetic data) but just do not have an interface that gives you health-related reports through their website. You would still be able to access such information through promethease. My guess is they probably removed it due to some legal concern, maybe the FDA had something to say. All we need is the raw genetic data; we are interpreting it ourselves. So, yes, it should be as useful. BPC will get his results soon to confirm.

http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/15/4/242.full + http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19200029

Curious.. has anyone given lithium a go?

Any progress with the glasses?

HPPD is very rare amongst psychedelic drug users. Probability suggests you will not get HPPD; unless you happen to be one of the unlucky few, like us. Taking drugs is always a gamble, especially with these very powerful 'mindbending' drugs (I think most of us here strongly feel our minds have been bent). Everything varies; some people get it off one trip, some, like myself, get it after 40+ trips. Some, don't get it at all (as Visual notes, Ozzy Osbourne). Some get it from antibiotics, some get the same symptoms without taking drugs at all. You cannot really quantify what constitutes a dose solely in terms of number of tabs/weight of [x] compound because potency varies so much. All you can assume is that more of [x] is going to be more powerful than [x] alone, assuming it does actually have a psychoactive effect. Do not make the assumption that one tab is a low dose. Back in those days, I had some of my hardest trips off 1 tab, little to nothing off four. If you are going to do it, make sure you know what you are buying and stay on the safe side. I cannot recommend that you do or not take drugs. You have to make that decision yourself - you are aware of the risks (part of the fun of life is making those decisions). I did not know about HPPD till after I got it. Would it have changed my mind? It wouldn't have done, to be honest. It is very difficult to imagine the reality of HPPD without having it. It is as unbelievable as the positive experiences you can have with these substances. Simply; If you want to make sure you don't get HPPD, then do not take psychoactive drugs, otherwise, you know it's a gamble: just hope it pays off. It is quite impressive to see someone asking sufferers of HPPD their opinion before taking substances. You clearly care a lot about your health, which is good. Wishing you all the best, whatever you do with yourself.

It depends if you want to risk having it for another five more years...

There is no deadline (not now at least). The quicker we move, the quicker we can achieve something. I suppose there is no rush, considering how long some of us have had HPPD. But - the process is going to take some time anyway. The quicker, the better! It would be great to see some people jumping on this

This is an encouragement to have your genes tested. To familiarise yourself with the basics of genetics, you can watch this video playlist: The proposal is simple; get a sizeable amount of us to have our DNA tested and compare the results to see if we share any unusual mutations, compared to the population. Hopefully some patterns will emerge. Eventually, we hope this will lead to formal research. Visual and I have recently had our genes tested by 23andMe. Visual is in the process of creating a simple program that will read a list of SNP's (single-nucleotide polymorphisms) we are interested in (those that are implicated in certain brain disorders, for example) and compare the variations of each participant for these SNPs. We have already tested a basic version of this program which does this in a simple form. There are some more complicated stats things that need to be accounted for before it is useful. Also, it needs to work in correspondence with a survey, as HPPD symptomatology varies vastly between individuals. What we need to make this program more useful is more results: more people with HPPD having their genes tested. This is where you come in. If you can afford it, please consider joining us. The cost is only $99 + shipping to have your DNA tested and takes a few minutes of your time (swabbing your mouth). Once done, the data can be useful for centuries. For the sake of continuity, and I think it is the best value for money, please go with 23andMe. Irregardless of this initiative, it should hopefully be interesting for you to have your genes tested on a personal note.. looking at your ancestry, personality traits etc. We can obviously not guarantee that this will lead to anything official or produce anything conclusive, but it will certainly give us the ability to compare our genes and it is a step in the right direction of understanding the pathology of this disorder. Please let us know as soon as possible if you will be taking part. We hope to get at least 32 participants to make this statistically useful. 100 people would be great. Also, relatives/friends with similar/same drug experiences and do not have HPPD are also very useful. Am sure Visual will chime in to explain things better than I can. Thank you, PS: Credit for this initiative goes to Visual. I am helping get the ball rolling and some footwork.

Visual and I have been talking about that. A survey will be needed in tandem with the DNA results for this reason. Have you heard back any more information on what this topic is about?

I'll look into that. It is important to note that 23andMe does not map your entire personal genome (3 billion genome base pairs). It reveals information about what are arguably the most important 1 million snips of your DNA, which is supposed to be quite telling. The 23andMe results are exciting.. but the info is not going to be very useful until we have quite a substantial number of us with results to compare. When you put the results into promethease, you'll find loads of SNP's that give you a higher risk of Parkinson's, schizophrenia, OCD.. etc. It won't become apparent which ones (if they are covered by 23andMe) are potentially worth delving into until we have collective data. Before we branch out to other services that map more of our genome, we should see if 23andMe does the trick, considering the SNP's it covers are considered to be important. This because 23andMe is quite affordable. Let's see what it can tell us first, and to reiterate, that will only be apparent when we have more of us with results.

I get SNP results when I search for the OPRK1 gene.

There is also Nutrahacker which you can pay for. I am in the process of cataloging my variants of these SNP's. http://www.snpedia.com/index.php/Dopamine/all http://www.snpedia.com/index.php/Serotonin/all http://www.snpedia.com/index.php/Glutamate/all http://www.snpedia.com/index.php/GABA/all Also other ones, such as those of the Arc and krox-20 genes which have been implicated in LSD use (see the epigenetics thread). There is lots to do..!

Great, thank you. There must be some more creatives willing to get involved out there. Activism is the way forward. Bringing fellow sufferers together in an event is also important.

Oh, don't be fooled, I'm still mostly supported by my parents! Absolutely. Healing is your priority.. remove as many stressors as you can, whilst you can. Thanks for the tip. I presume you cannot really live a normal day-to-day life when you are fasting, then? See you on the other side, soul sister.

Yeah I really like your approach! Forcing your brain to adapt through its own natural mechanisms by withdrawing certain external influences seems more likely to cure HPPD than adding things.. that or things will get much more worse, hah I would love to try the sensory deprivation but my schedule doesn't allow me at the moment. I might be able to give fasting a try though. Yeah, we're all f'ing hippies at heart

Supplementing magnesium would be a good idea for this, I think, it relaxes the nervous system, and in turn muscles. NaturalStacks' magnesium product is a good one if you can afford it - three types of magnesium, two highly bioavailable and one (MgT) that crosses the blood-brain-barrier readily.