ferret

I had a weird visual today. A vertical bar of light appeared in front of my face and moved toward my nose for a few seconds before fading. Other than that It was a great day at the beach.

No more drugs and you should be fine. You might even want to stop drinking for a little while if you haven't allready. Is the "out of it" feling different than what you would consider derealization to be?

it wasn't brave it was stupid. I should have waited until I was 100% or atleast at a stable 97%-99% and could accurately judge alcohol's effect on me without the possible bias of what could have been just a few bad days that were going to come whether I drank or not. I know what you mean about paranoia. i didn't know what anxiety was like before, i thought people who had it were just mentally weaker. Now I realize that it is beyond their control. Even when I would control my thoughts I would still shake constantly and feel like I was on the verge of death/insanity 24/7. i am so glad that I am past that.

If you stick with it Im sure that you will get through it and feel good again one day. Suicide is permanent, it is a mistake that can't be fixed.

I had simmilar thoughts for a while. You will be fine. Just stop worrying. I know how hard it is but you need to find a way to distract yourself. I have been experienceing increased visuals the last few days after my second time drinking post HPPD, but I belive that it is probably because of me worrying that alcohol could make me worse than the alcohol itself. These last few days are starting to bring back the paranoia for me but I am confident that in a few weeks I will be fine. Think positive.

In another thread somebody mentioned that HPPD sufferers tend to have higher IQs than average. From what I understand about Pschedelics, they effect the brain by binding seratonin receptors so that when certain receptors are stimulated others are aswell. Perhaps the reason that we continue to have sensory disturbances like when we were tripping is because our brain learned the connection between those receptors and now when a seratonin receptor is stimulated the ones that the substance had binded it to are aswell because our brain has formed a habbit. It would make sense that people with higher IQs learned this connection faster than others. Our brain reverting back to using this connection even after months of no symptoms following use of the substance is probably related to anxiety and pehaps a form of PTSD. This is just a theory but it seems to make sense, I would like to hear the oppinions of others regarding it. If this theory is correct it would seem that rehabilitation would be the cure not medication. But how does one rehabilitate the brain to see a certain way? The best way I can think of is to ignore visuals and try to notice them as little as possible. If you are stessed by visuals your body will believe that they are possibly dangerous to you and therefore significant. if you ignore them for an extended period of time hopefully your brain will start to filter them out again. Thoughts?

What really had me thinking i was going crazy were my sleep problems. I would see random shit when i closed my eyes at night and would have nonsensical thoughts as I drifted to sleep. I also had a lot of dreams that played off of my fear of insanity. I had a dream where I actually went insane and one where I realized that i wasn't in the real world but was then convinced by someone in the dream that I was. Both these dreams really messed with me but didn't bother me as much as the stuff that I was half awake for. I'm sure I would be stressed too if I had taken a drug that less was known about but the odds are you will be fine. You are recovering better than most people seem too. I have had a minor setback. Since drinking the other day i have been more anxious and have noticed more visual snow. I think it is probably more from the anxiety of fearing that drinking would make me worse than the alcohol itself but I am going to play it safe and not drink for a while, I don't want to risk living the rest of my life in hell.

i dont think that it's worth the risk, espeacially when you are so close to recovering without it.

Drank again last night. Did some stupid/hilarious things. I had heightened Anxiety today but that was partly (possibly completely) because of some misuse of my phone last night that made some super awkward situations. It was definately more anxiety than I would feel before HPPD so i guess it isn't gone completly but it is close. I didn't dink that much but my tolerance is pretty low anyways. I thought that I was seeing more snow today but i don't know. I was watching an old episode of seinfeld on a pretty shitty T.V but I definatly noticed more static than usual. I stilll saw fine outside. I feel like I shouldn't drink again for a while but I probably will. I still wont drink more than twice a month for the rest of the summer at least.

Yeah this site has helped me a lot too. Your posts have helped me and now that we are feeling better I think that us posting helps others a lot, but just try to stay off it for a few days to a week and see if it helps. My anxiety went down a bit when I did it but I'm not sure if it was related because my anxiety was diminishing before I did it too. I think that it helps stop obsessing about HPPD.

My anxiety would go up and down a lot, now it has finally seemed to have gone away except for when I'm thinking about HPPD. I bet that you will feel like that as well in a week or two. One of the things that helped me a little was staying off this site for 5 straight days, I'm not sure if it would help you at all but it made me think about HPPD less. Good Luck

Ok I will go for beer but I'm not sure that I will have the option.

Anxiety is gone except for when I think about HPPD now. I am living life just as I used to, except I still sleep with a light on a lot. Some visual snow in the dark still but If I had the chance to guarantee that drinking would have no negative effect on my HPPD but that my visuals would never get better either I would take the deal for sure. I'm probably gonna drink for the second time post HPPD this weekend, hopefully I will be fine. Why do people say liquor is worse than beer is it just how fast that you take in the alcohol or something else? Good Luck to all of you. I hope to see your recovery posts soon.

I'm sure that it won't last long with you being as close to recovering as you are.

It seems that you want to use pschadelics for the right reasons but don't do it. I would say from what you said that you will probably recover if you stay sober for a few (maybe more) months, but any drug (even alcohol) presents a chance of relapse. With Halucinogens it is almost a certainty that your HPPD will greatly worsen and possibly be permanent. I only tripped once (a little over an eigth of shrooms) and i really wish i could do it again because I feel like it can teach you a lot about yourself and the human mind. However I know that I will never use pshedelics again because it just isn't worth it.

i know man. i researched psilocybin a bit before eating shrooms but no sites mentioned long term issues like these the only dangers they mentioned was doing something stupid while you were trippig or having such a bad trip that you couldn't get over it. I thought only LSD could produce long-term mental issues like this shit. Some sites mentioned flashbacks but that isn't very scary compared to a 24/7 flashback.

I was torn between focusing on the visuals to get used to them and get rid of the anxiety they cause or ignoring them to re-train my brain to filter them out. I was also concerned that focusing on them might make them stay around for longer. ignoring them worked for me but it doesn't seem to work for everybody so maybe you should try the other method. Stress and drug use seem to be the most common things that cause HPPD to worsen. Take it easy with the alcohol some people say it permanently increased their visuals.

Slept with the light off last night for the first time in a while, i'm really feeling like HPPD is behind me.

Good luck man. You never know when you're going to start seeing vast improvement. I finally feel like I have beat HPPD. I hope you can say the same soon.

Awesome. I've felt great the past few days too. Well, not right now because I ate a mostly raw burger and now stomach pain has kept me up all night, but otherwise I feel great. I hope you continue to improve.

Does anyone notice a change in their visual snow when they are wearing contacts or glasses. I know that HPPD is a problem with the brain and not the eyes but it seems to make a diference with me. I usually wear contacts and it is hard to tell if they make a change because the only time I don't have them in is right before or after sleeping when I am in a darker enviroment and my visuals seem to increase anyways. Because I can take glasses on and off it is easier to notice a change with them. If I am in a dimly lit room where the snow is there but thin it seems to be noticeably reduced when I put my glasses on. Maybe seeing clearer makes it easier for my brain to process the images it's getting. Has anyone else noticed any difference?

Vitamin A is supposed to be good for eyes and night vision. Many people report HPPD is worst in the dark (thats the only time I have it now). Has anyone taken it as a supplement and if so did you notice a change?

I used to too but I don't anymore.

q

I think you should tell your parents but its up to you. Basically everyone In my school or family know that shrooms messed me up. It might take a few moths but you will probably recover. I have had it for 3 and 1/2 months but I am practically recovered now, I feel great and only get visuals in the dark and they aren't that bad.