Am I screwed?

[heroku]

This is a really stupid post because I’m just giving into my anxiety and making my symptoms worse, but do you guys think I’ve got HPPD? On Monday (it’s Wednesday) I did 250ug of acid for the first time, and had a pretty intense trip. I’m 16. I did it with my friend, and my mood varied throughout: near the end I started having a panic attack because I was scared it wasn’t going to end. Fast forward to that night, over 12 hours after I had dropped the acid, I started freaking out again. I just didn’t know if I could sleep or not, and my anxiety started bubbling up, then making me feel like stuff was kind of changing size and breathing like it was during the trip (I can’t remember if it actually was). I woke up my grandma and told her what was happening and then kept freaking out and having her keep me company until I eventually slept for a grand total of 3 hours. I woke up the next day and felt much better but then started being super panicky towards the middle, eventually settling down more in the night and getting a full 10 hours of sleep.

Today has been a repeat: I’ve had moments of tranquility where I wasn’t paranoid and didn’t feel like I was noticing symptoms, and moments where I’m anxious as hell.

I mostly just feel dizzy and a bit numb and maybe like I have a bit of fluctuations in tactile sensation. It’s really getting to me though, because I feel like I can’t focus on anything and that my life will never resume as normal. My eyes dart around which adds to me thinking things look weird (they don’t I’m just rapidly focusing all over the place) I’ve been clinging onto anyone I can talk to ease the anxiety and remind me that I’m going to be okay. When I’m paranoid I’ll remember what the trip was like and compare the visuals to stuff I see fly past my peripheral (stuff like “OH NO, I JUST SAW A BLURRY LINE, DID THAT LOOK LIKE AN EYE?)

I’m not really scared of anything that I see, just scared that I’m seeing something. And then scared of being scared of that: I’m getting anxious about being anxious. I don’t think I have visual snow or starbursts, and I’m not sure about what other symptoms you guys frequently experience.

One thing to note is that anxiety runs in my family and my therapist believes I have GAD.

Not really sure what I want to accomplish with this post, I just wanna hear any of you guys’ thoughts?

Edited November 23, 2023 by heroku

[Jay1]

Way too soon to tell.. Just try not to give it any more thought right now and do all the suggested stuff (zero drugs, alcohol, caffeine... minimise stress.. try and get good sleep etc).

I know it is hard, but try not to read anything more about HPPD and try not to anylise your vision to the nth degree.

[heroku]

At what point should I talk to a doctor or psychiatrist (if this continues)?

[Jay1]

You can start chatting to a doctor at any point, especially if this is causing you severe worry/anxiety. 

My personal view is to not go on any medications for at least a month though, ideally three months... UNLESS you are in a very, very bad place and thinking of doing something. 

Most people I chat to get better naturally after around 1-3 months... But a lot of people jump straight on meds and think the meds healed them, they often then stay on said meds scared that HPPD will come back. 

[heroku]

That’s actually very relieving, thank you.

[AF44]

On 11/24/2023 at 1:02 AM, Jay1 said:

You can start chatting to a doctor at any point, especially if this is causing you severe worry/anxiety. 

My personal view is to not go on any medications for at least a month though, ideally three months... UNLESS you are in a very, very bad place and thinking of doing something. 

Most people I chat to get better naturally after around 1-3 months... But a lot of people jump straight on meds and think the meds healed them, they often then stay on said meds scared that HPPD will come back. 

You are dead on! I’m definitely stuck on mine. Helped a lot but in a way, wish I had never taken anything