Hppd or What?

[ganggobangamigo]

Hey guys, I'm writing this all with google translate as I'm not super confident in my English skills. I am 16 years old, I smoked marijuana in November 2022. I had a bad trip. Maybe the marijuana was mixed with something, I don't know. Then I smoked more until I started having panic attacks. I was very frightened by this, my hair began to fall out, I seemed to have no concentration and short memory at all. And there was a general weakness. Then I started to recover. I got better, but sometimes I had panic attacks. There was often anxiety. There were intrusive bad thoughts. Then I started going to a psychotherapist. I started to feel better. But still, there were rare panic attacks, mood changes often and anxiety. Now I started to feel not super well again. I smoked marijuana for the last time on December 16, 2022. I practically don't drink alcohol. I do sports. Now I have depression, no mood, it seems that I will be in this state for the rest of my life. There are no panic attacks, anxiety is present. I sleep well now, but after stressful days or depressions, as a hangover for 1-3 days occurs. I begin to feel bad, no strength, no mood. There is also sometimes fear for no reason. Lately, I want to move my legs when I'm calm. I also noticed that my chin is shaking a bit. But I suppose that this happened before, just now I started to wind myself up more about this.
Also, he moved from Ukraine to Germany. The situation is not familiar, there are no friends here. I used to smoke marijuana here. It may be that everything else also played a role. Because now, even when people are uncomfortable with people, fear appears, it’s somehow uncomfortable to hold the jaw. It is also possible that this is all a transitional age. Before taking marijuana, I had never experienced such feelings. There were feelings of fear and so on, but they were justified, and the fears of the public intensified after the current state. I will go on July 18 to a psychiatrist for the second time. Maybe write out sioss. I don't know if it's hppd or not. help me please

[cosmiccharlie]

Hello and I'm sorry to hear how difficult things are for you now.  Try and remain calm and not worry too much.  First of all, you are very young which is a good thing when it comes to recovery from any mental condition including HPPD.  Additionally, your drug history not being very extensive will also work in your favor for recovery.  I recommend taking your reaction to the marijuana as a sign that your likely sensitive to psychedelics and I strongly encourage you to stay away from marijuana and any other psychedelic substances.  WHatever your condition is, it is likely to change if you start and maintain a healthy lifestyle.  I tell everyone the same remedy that worked for me: 

• Stop all drugs, even alcohol for a while.
• Take it one day at a time, try not to think about the past or future just be here now. 
• Keep yourself busy with healthy, productive things; hobbies, work, etc...
• Exercise even if it makes your symptoms worse
• Do the best you can to not focus on HPPD; minimize time spent online looking into it and time thinking about it (this tends to generate anxiety which is not helpful for us) 
• Try learning to meditate, even if it's just for a minute or two.  We all have the ability to go inward for strength and healing.  For example, you can spend 30 seconds or a minute sitting and noticing your breath and thinking the following: 

1. when I breath in I notice I am breathing in
2.  when I breath out I notice that I am breathing out and I smile because I am alive. 

It's that simple!

• Try and get as much sleep as you can.  
• If you're open to it, pray to God in whatever way you think is appropriate.  You don't even have to believe in anything, just humbly ask for help on your knees everyday.  

Additionally, it sounds to me that you are under a great deal of stress.  I can only imagine what you and your family/friends/fellow Ukrainian citizens are going through.  Stress can have a very negative impact on our body and mind.  That being said, it's another reason why meditation could be a good idea for you.  Consistent meditation has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety and improve brain function over time.  And it's free with no side-effects!

Hang in there and know that you're not alone. 

Take Care,

Nick 

[ganggobangamigo]

4 hours ago, cosmiccharlie said:

Hello and I'm sorry to hear how difficult things are for you now.  Try and remain calm and not worry too much.  First of all, you are very young which is a good thing when it comes to recovery from any mental condition including HPPD.  Additionally, your drug history not being very extensive will also work in your favor for recovery.  I recommend taking your reaction to the marijuana as a sign that your likely sensitive to psychedelics and I strongly encourage you to stay away from marijuana and any other psychedelic substances.  WHatever your condition is, it is likely to change if you start and maintain a healthy lifestyle.  I tell everyone the same remedy that worked for me: 

• Stop all drugs, even alcohol for a while.
• Take it one day at a time, try not to think about the past or future just be here now. 
• Keep yourself busy with healthy, productive things; hobbies, work, etc...
• Exercise even if it makes your symptoms worse
• Do the best you can to not focus on HPPD; minimize time spent online looking into it and time thinking about it (this tends to generate anxiety which is not helpful for us) 
• Try learning to meditate, even if it's just for a minute or two.  We all have the ability to go inward for strength and healing.  For example, you can spend 30 seconds or a minute sitting and noticing your breath and thinking the following: 

1. when I breath in I notice I am breathing in
2.  when I breath out I notice that I am breathing out and I smile because I am alive. 

It's that simple!

• Try and get as much sleep as you can.  
• If you're open to it, pray to God in whatever way you think is appropriate.  You don't even have to believe in anything, just humbly ask for help on your knees everyday.  

Additionally, it sounds to me that you are under a great deal of stress.  I can only imagine what you and your family/friends/fellow Ukrainian citizens are going through.  Stress can have a very negative impact on our body and mind.  That being said, it's another reason why meditation could be a good idea for you.  Consistent meditation has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety and improve brain function over time.  And it's free with no side-effects!

Hang in there and know that you're not alone. 

Take Care,

Nick 

Hi Nick, thanks a lot for your reply! I haven't taken any drugs since December 16th. That day I smoked marijuana for the last time. I rarely drink alcohol, once a month, maybe two, or even three. Only when I go to parties. I go in for sports, I go to the gym, I really like it. Maybe I'll start meditating. I don't have the urge to panic attacks for a week, maybe already. Somehow I read on the Internet the option that it is like a monster and it feeds on fear. And in order to defeat him, you need to cope with fear and not give it to the monster. I don't have any hallucinations. Maybe at first a little, and then disappeared. I only have flies before my eyes when I look at something bright. Now the mood is already good, I hope it will continue to be so. Overall, I feel much better than when it all started. I don't have derealization and depersonalization. Less anxiety and panic attacks. Now, of course, there is still anxiety and fear for no reason. But less often. But because it happens, it makes me sad. I sincerely believe that everything will be fine. I also assume that now my nervous system just needs rest and recovery. Since after such stressful situations I have 2-3 days of recovery, after masturbation it becomes sad. The psychotherapist told me that it is better not to watch anything on the Internet and she is right. Since I have stupid thoughts that I got schizophrenia or something else serious. But things are weird with hppd, since I don't have hallucinations. I hope that I will be healthy soon

[ganggobangamigo]

7 minutes ago, ganggobangamigo said:

Привет, Ник! Большое спасибо за ответ! Я не принимал никаких наркотиков с 16 декабря. В тот день я в последний раз выкурил марихуану. Алкоголь пью редко, раз в месяц, может два, а то и три. Только когда я хожу на вечеринки. Я занимаюсь спортом, хожу в тренажерный зал, мне это очень нравится. Может быть, я начну медитировать. У меня нет позывов к паническим атакам неделю, может уже. Как-то прочитал в интернете вариант, что он как монстр и питается страхом. И чтобы его победить, нужно справиться со страхом и не отдать его монстру. У меня нет никаких галлюцинаций. Может сначала немного, а потом пропало. У меня мушки перед глазами только когда смотрю на что-то яркое. Сейчас настроение уже хорошее, надеюсь так и будет дальше. В целом чувствую себя намного лучше, чем когда все начиналось. У меня нет дереализации и деперсонализации. Меньше беспокойства и панических атак. Сейчас, конечно, по-прежнему тревога и страх без причины. Но реже. Но из-за того, что это происходит, мне становится грустно. Я искренне верю, что все будет хорошо. Я также предполагаю, что сейчас моей нервной системе просто необходим отдых и восстановление. Так как после таких стрессовых ситуаций у меня 2-3 дня восстановления, то после мастурбации становится грустно. Психотерапевт сказала мне, что в интернете лучше ничего не смотреть и она права. Так как у меня глупые мысли, что у меня шизофрения или что-то еще серьезное. Но с hppd дела обстоят странно, так как у меня нет галлюцинаций. Я надеюсь, что скоро буду здоров Но из-за того, что это происходит, мне становится грустно. Я искренне верю, что все будет хорошо. Я также предполагаю, что сейчас моей нервной системе просто необходим отдых и восстановление. Так как после таких стрессовых ситуаций у меня 2-3 дня восстановления, то после мастурбации становится грустно. Психотерапевт сказала мне, что в интернете лучше ничего не смотреть и она права. Так как у меня глупые мысли, что у меня шизофрения или что-то еще серьезное. Но с hppd дела обстоят странно, так как у меня нет галлюцинаций. Я надеюсь, что скоро буду здоров Но из-за того, что это происходит, мне становится грустно. Я искренне верю, что все будет хорошо. Я также предполагаю, что сейчас моей нервной системе просто необходим отдых и восстановление. Так как после таких стрессовых ситуаций у меня 2-3 дня восстановления, то после мастурбации становится грустно. Психотерапевт сказала мне, что в интернете лучше ничего не смотреть и она права. Так как у меня глупые мысли, что у меня шизофрения или что-то еще серьезное. Но с hppd дела обстоят странно, так как у меня нет галлюцинаций. Я надеюсь, что скоро буду здоров Психотерапевт сказала мне, что в интернете лучше ничего не смотреть и она права. Так как у меня глупые мысли, что у меня шизофрения или что-то еще серьезное. Но с hppd дела обстоят странно, так как у меня нет галлюцинаций. Я надеюсь, что скоро буду здоров Психотерапевт сказала мне, что в интернете лучше ничего не смотреть и она права. Так как у меня глупые мысли, что у меня шизофрения или что-то еще серьезное. Но с hppd дела обстоят странно, так как у меня нет галлюцинаций. Я надеюсь, что скоро буду здоров

Also psychotherapist says that maybe it's like post-traumatic stress after the war. Since I didn’t fully experience it before, but now it all comes back to me. It is also possible that everything is complicated here, there are no friends and a lot of responsibility lies with me. But I'm not sure how much post-traumatic stress it is, because on the Internet they write that it lasts a month, and I have had this condition since December. I smoked marijuana at most 7 times. And 4 times in Ukraine, then there it was very weak and I felt nothing but joy that I smoked it. The psychiatrist and psychotherapist say that it is better not to try anything until the age of 21 or 25, since the psyche is formed before this age. I don't want to use marijuana and other drugs now. I started getting baptized every night and doing the 3-2-1 technique that my therapist gave me.