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My story in what I think is HPPD(no other cause could be found)

I have been consuming recreationally drugs for a couple of years but only ocasionally(I am 21).The thing is when I went in a vacation(mid august 2022) I consumed daily a lot of marijuana and MDMA,a couple of times.When I returned home,I consumed cocaine and this is what I think triggered what I have now because I think it contained something very harmfull or poisonous...After a few days,my light sensitivity began to appear and I had severe headaches.Not to mention that in time this has dissappeared but now I have geometric ilusions(things appear to tilt),oscillopsy(maybe from slight nystagmus because i got rid of 90% after taking clonazepam),very mild after images,halos at night and the most bizzare two symptoms I have is that illusion of thing moving faster(car blinkers are more faster than before for example) and extremely bizzare the image quality even on the phone is weaker(i see more pixels on low quality images).I did all the neurological,ophtamological and psychiatric investigations I could(I saw a lot of doctors including a professor neurologist that had 40 years of experience from the capital of my country ,did cerebral IRM and CT,OCT for optic nerve and retina,also been internated in hospital for one week where I have done a lot of blood investigations and cerebral fluid).Nothing come out regarding my symptoms,all the investigations are normal.The worst thing is that those symptoms had basically destroyed my life(had to drop out of University,no social life for 2 months I think and a lot of bad things).A mistake I made was to consume again drugs on New Year's Eve but it didn t really do nothing only exacerbate them a little bit and came to baseline.The antidepressant drugs had,basically,saved me from suicide(had suicidal thoughts and a good plan for weeks).Now after all this,I think i am on a good road.This year I began doing sports again(running,gym,cycling) and I plan to work at my familly business from february and continue my studies.I decided that I can't destroy my life even though I have severe visual symptoms(in my opinion because I am still able to drive,for example).My biggest fear is that the symptoms don't get worse.I hope one day I will get rid of them and be as happy as I was before but for the moment I think I must fight to be as normal as I can like before all of that.Think that I never told anyone anything except my parents and nobody suspects I have something,it's very hard

Sorry for my long post and english(not a native english speaker) but I feel that I must write somewhere my story and get your opinions.

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20 hours ago, help123 said:

I noticed a slight exacerbation of symptoms after i began working out and didn't have a good sleep for a few days,is that normal?

Yea, that happens to me too. Working out seems to only affect my visuals, and only for a short time. But lack of sleep really messes with everything... visuals, anxiety, dpdr

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Hey man trust me I know how you feel when you say people around you have no idea.  Thankfully I have a few family members and friends that have been through the same thing, though co workers and school look down on me when I have to leave halfway through the day cause I can’t focus on anything but how slow and weak I feel.  Just give it time try not to focus on how you feel in the moment just look forward to the day you’re better.  This is quite a safe place and the few people that are active are only supportive.  As dad as the suicidal thoughts I’m familiar with this as well.  Before this I was quite smart, quick and had a lot of plans for the future, now I have a hard time remembering the lyrics to my favorite songs.  I put my faith In god that he will help us back to normal or at least back to an enjoyable life.  All the love to you❤️

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