bit concerned I might have a (thankfully only) mild case of this

[MDD678]

Hi all, I am gonna ramble a bit but I'd still like some guidance on this, or advice. 

I hope to get some assistance with this, although I am not certain I even have this, and I obviously hope have this is the disordered sense as it is from what I have read it's quite a disabling condition. Years ago I had experimented with some "mild" psychs, for a certain period of time I suffered what is described with the description of this, but naturally and thankfully it diminished over time, especially the anxiety. Lately I smoked some weed, had some flashback and it was horrible, now at first to humor it I thought it was just a really strong strain lol, but no, it did through some mechanism trigger it. For weeks now occasionally I have minor so-called flareups of this, at first I never thought much of it, it was actually enjoyable and because I was naturally more positive after this, people had responded slightly more friendly towards me due to the unity aspect (maybe it is just in my head idk) that psychs give you (this is a good thing, many take these for this effect alone), however since reading about (the description of this disorder) well I kinda wish I hadn't because ignorance was bliss, both in the aftereffect sense and also in the "I took it for this purpose anyway" sense, and since then minor "noticings" of a psych headspace although I do admit it's mild and not always bad causes anxiety. I have also been more actually aware of positive and negative vibes, including my own negative or unattractive traits, so someone elses minor irritability which then insist is never aimed at me directly rubs off bad on me, yet at the same time and I dont know if this is just in my head or not but my own (increased insight and very mild bad-trip-eske vibe that alternates with a pleasant mental experience) disturbs others around me. For instance my mam today said she felt unwell when going to work but she didn't know why, she is an caring person so potentially she is just sympathizing with my off state but I felt my "state" rubbed off bad on her or something, this is turn obviously upset me so I just empathetically wished her a great day and went back upstairs. Stuff like that. I don't know what to make of it. 

I have learned to control it in my own ways, It kinda feels like I am a bit more aware of things these days, as if some part of my brain or subconscious mind just got activated. My social anxiety also has become more of a thing although thankfully not to a severe level but I am a bit more uncomfortable; although I won't let it stop me I still go out, don't know if this is really a 'disorder' to this level as some simply take it again as I say for this purpose alone... I guess I am just not used to it yet, guys. Sometimes I drink alcohol to dumb it down, it's just hard to handle sometimes, maybe i should view this thing as a plus given it's mild instead of a disorder as true hppd is apparently rare. I I mean I thought about asking on the nexus website, others who have had these experiences do come to forums with the intention of trying to figure it out. Just don't know where to go really.

So... now what? how bad do you's have it compared to this short story.

 

edit: I do appreciate what I have said here came off as the ramblings of a psychotic person, I don't think that's what's going on here although I considered it, I think it's either a hppd syndrome or in fact, well, it is psychotic related. I came to post here as I feel I am having a flurry of psycdelics insights but maybe it is something else.

Edited October 11, 2022 by MDD678

[cosmiccharlie]

Hello, 

     What you are describing may be a mild case or something else.  None of us here are doctors and can only share our experience and hope.  The relation to the weed smoking makes me think it could be mild HPPD but it's impossible (at this point) to say anything with certainty about this condition.  My advice to you is maybe to start keeping a daily journal to track your symptoms.  Short entries, something like frequency, duration, intensity.  This may help give you a sense of how prevalent it is in your life.  If you continue to smoke weed or drink you should also make a note of this in your daily log.  However, I would strongly recommend abstaining from weed at least until you see how long this thing lasts.  From my experience and many others, weed and HPPD tend to interact quite strongly.  I tell everyone the same thing because it worked for me and facilitated my recovery: 

• Stop all drugs (even alcohol for a bit if you can) 
• Get as much sleep as you can 
• Exercise regularly even if it makes your symptoms worse
• Eat well 
• Stay busy with work/ school/ hobby etc
• Try not to worry 
• Learn to meditate if you can (this was really helpful for me) 

A lifestyle adjustment helped me cope and recover over time.  My case is rather severe but I now lead a happy, productive and full life with a family, challenging job and a network of friends.  Let us know how things turn out. 

 

Take Care,

Nick 

[MDD678]

thanks. I read that ppi drug lan- whatever was useful with this, tried that for some acid reflux related disorder a while ago not sure if it made any difference, well I mean it had a few other side effects on other areas temporary I'll say. at the same time I understood at that moment clearly how antidepressents, anti psycotics, benzos or other releated drugs could be used to dull down experiences like this if one were to be so inclined. 

I think it has something to do with serotonergic receptor activation, although I don't recall the exact science, I probably always liked alcohol as this activates gaba, the brakes, which if my drug nerd science is even slightly correct would 'prevent' an efflux of serotonin which cannabis would have 'activated', and I know acid/tryptamines can like stay in your spinal fluid or the theories and stories some will say, but through whatever mechanism the cannabis again would have some link to that...  funny thing happened recently I left the cinema and when I was waiting for two others to come out of the cinema, I saw this guy looking at me. and his face morph and/or there was a flash of visually hallucinated color for a couple seconds. bizarre, but slightly interesting and amusing experience, I walked out the cinema with my mates. tried to chalk it up to some other issue but I don't know of any other condition which can cause this. hmph, the brain is an interesting thing.

 

Edited October 11, 2022 by MDD678