miketusa Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 My name is Michael and I have recently diagnosed myself with HPPD. I haven't tripped many times, LSD twice, DXM twice, and I smoked JWH powder several times until it induced a panic attack and depersonalization. I believe it occured after a slightly frightening DXM trip. Very detached, heart beating fast, and I remember seeing blue digital like spots all over my vision. That was about 6 months ago i'd guess. Its really more the visuals than anything else. I didn't pay much notice, though I instantly acknowledged that smoking pot, for what ever reason was no longer the same, intense and trippy, to say the least. Honestly, it didn't affect my day to day until very recently. Quit smoking weed about a week ago, as I assumed it would not be conducive to recovery. But for the six months it was just random isolated pixels of blue in my vision, along with blue coloring on some edges of objects. Again, very subtle. I paid no attention to it, did MDMA once after on New Years. After smoking weed, while while intoxicated. (Peer Pressure) Again, even after that no real disturbance. Since then visual snow has increased slightly, and I get slight headaches, one night while drinking beer I noticed a blue visual trail behind the foot of someone walking, something I had never, ever seen before. Lately I get slightly depressed, but overcome it fairly quickly. I am becoming very worried, very disappointed in myself, that I will not recover, and things will worsen. Lots of unhappy people with HPPD scattered through out various forums on the web. I've sworn off all mind altering substances indefinitely in hopes of recovery. I haven't told my parents, I feel that I should, though I am discouraged at the thought of there utter disappointment. Sorry for the lengthy, whiny intro. I am pleased to see so many optimistic people throughout out this forum, with greater problems than myself. Just saying that I'm a newbie, and I've got some problems now too. *** I would like to clarify that this has been seemingly purely visual, static lately, with the blue spots popping in. I think this could possibly be two different incidents of HPPD converging, both from separate drugs. I do feel "strange" now and again, not quite sure if my reality, is the reality, if you get my drift. Maybe i'm just wierd, I don't know. I guess, all I can do is give it time, and act accordingly. -Sincerely, Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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