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Fuck the holidays!


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Hi all, why do I hate christmas???

1. I spent christmas in a barn because I ran away with 2 of my friends on christmas when i was 13

2. My stepdad killed my dog the year after a week before christmas, she was still a puppy!

3. I watched my best friend have his eye ripped out of its socket on christmas eve one year and i got stabbed that night all over a bad coke deal.

4. My mother has been having me help pay for my christmas/birthday gifts since i was 12. think about paying for your own christmas present when you still kinda believe in santa!

5. this year is great! My uncle who was a molecular biologist died of a cyst on his liver rupturing, the one man i looked up to died. The only relative i visited last summer during my roadtrip died! He's the only reason I want to become a Genetics Engineer!!! and he died! and to add insult to injury, insted of helping me through my heard times, my girlfriend chugs a liter of mango vodka and beats me up the day after when i have a job interview in the morning! I dont want her anymore but it still hurts i mean i do still love her in a way but I need someone who i can rely on especially in the winter, I hate christmas!

I want to hang it up.. so bad i mean yesterday i did bad things to my arm. i havent hurt myself in like 3 years.. I dont know what to do. I wish i had a job so i could just work my problems away. the only thing i have to live for... is typing right now.


Heroin doesn't help, alcohol doesnt help, mushrooms havent helped. FUCK REALITY!!

but seriously, drugs just make the feelinggs go away temporarily. i hope no one else in this world feels as bad as i do today because they don't diserve it. so please tell me about all of your wonderful christmas's i dont want to live and i need more drugs but i dont want to steal. FUCK LIFE!!!

have a merry christmas i just needed to vent and i am sorry if this brought you down. please be merry for me.

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Hey, you may have problems but you are not your problems. You are bigger than your problems.

You may go ahead and dig yourself deeper into the hole with drugs, but you have realized that there are problems (this is a pretty big acheivement actually). You have been given a special oppourtunity to be aware of what's wrong because, then, you are able to act on it and make a change. Not to downstate your situation, because its easier said than done, it will be fucking difficult. But, in the end, it will be more than worth it. Don't know where to start? Look inside and see what you tell yourself. Because I think you already know.


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