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Not sure if hppd or just panic disorder


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My intro to psychedelics was fast and woah with a 800 mic dose of 25c nBOME. This was about 4 years ago, and over the the past few years have tripped well over 100 times on multiple different substances (i do not recommend tripping that often at all). It was all great trips up until last year in june that I took a nightmare trip and had a panic attack on what i presume was 200 mic LSD. My visuals kicked off to what felt like 15 hits to the face (i had done 10 hits all at once before of LSD and had a grest trip) about 3 hours into the trip my heart was beating uncontrollably and my head kept feeling like warm uncomfortable pulses were rushing from my spine. It was so bad i end up have having to get my parents involved to get a few xanax from my dad to come down. This felt like i was about to go into psychosis or worse, die. I havent had any hard drugs since then, even had to stop smoking weed altogether. I only drink socially with friends now. But ever since my bad trip ive had what i presume to be panic disorder or mild to severe hppd. Everyday is anxiety filled and possible panic attacks at random with no in particular trigger. Ive had mild hppd before but was just visual lasting for 6 months after going threw 50 hits in one month. But this is more like random spurts of intense visuals followed by anxiety or panic. Anyone have any suggestions to assist in my problem?

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  • 2 weeks later...

@Stuie I'm not a doctor or any sort of hppd expert.  I'm just an old guy who has had this disorder for a long time.  Keep that in mind while reading this

When I was dosing, like you, I dosed frequently and I tended to take high doses.  Unfortunately, I kept dosing after I noticed my visuals weren't going away after I came down.   What I ended up with is visuals for life.  Some of my other symptoms subsided like CEVS and anxiety, but it took decades.

It's interesting that your symptoms come in bursts.  Is there anything that seems to trigger them?   Stressful situations, is it random, something else?  Do the visuals always come with the anxiety?  When you don't notice anxiety/visuals, do you otherwise feel OK?

As for suggestions, I can only tell you what I did.  I don't take medications, but there are people in here who have had success with them.  For me, I noticed that when my mind is focused, I don't notice my symptoms.  I meditate daily which helps with mental focus, lessens anxiety, and helps me control that internal mental chatter.  I stay as busy as possible which is basically being focused.  Exercise helps me a lot as does eating a clean diet.  That's me, everyone is different.

Most importantly, stay away from psychoactive chemicals.  If you keep dosing, it probably will get worse.

Please understand that if you do have hppd, it's very possible to live a wonderful, happy, and productive life.   

Hang in there, and take care.


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