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New to the site, is there hope?


crawlingbacktostart
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There is always hope. Never give up.... If your legs are strong , I would suggest running. Join a club. Or maybe swimming.. I'm a big beliver in excersise. I would suggest staying away from any hard core meds.

Now a nice indica variet of pot with high cbd levels and low anxiety effects might be just as usefull as some benzos for anxiety. There is also a site called crazy meds.us..........It is pretty helpfull about the differences in all kind of drugs.........I Found it very usefull.

Hope this helps........Good friend support network is very usefull and helpfull as well.

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Dylan, I know people who have taken a lot as well so there is hope. As much as you mention... I know if I'd have come on the forum all those years ago and got alarmed responses, I'd be petrified. So please don't be :mellow: .. I got my HPPD in the 90's and I have seen all kinds of things happen with liquid lsd (accidentally ingesting more because it literally spilled out that way, etc...) I know someone with hppd who ate the paper from a book of it it as a kid not knowing what it was because his father sold it and had it around. Who knows how many any of that equals out to? And I'm sure you know from experience there is a tolerance and even a cross tolerance between other hallucinogen substances, too. Just wanted to mention and reiterate those things. I don't judge you by what you did in this forum. I know people who did more than that and for longer periods and do not have HPPD.If possible I'd recommend avoiding falling into the self blame trap because it's very hard to get out from.

I too have breathing problems. Do you have asthma at all? I thought I'd throw that in too since I see an additional person on here mention it. At times, it's been debilitating particularly in the years after the onset of HPPD..

You are very young and I am no expert but think you have youth and regeneration on your side. Will it ever resolve completely? Who knows. It could. For some, it seems to. Others like me learn to live with it and mostly after a while, it is not like it seems to you, today.

Just wanted to welcome you-

peace man~

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  • 3 months later...

Hi Dylan,

I can relate. I have a similar story. I was on ADD meds and ended up being unable to take my meds when I started getting HPPD. I have actually had a collapsed lung (spontaneous pneumothorax), so i know how it feels. I had my true dose of panic disorder and HPPD, a few years after, when it felt like my lung was gonna collapse again. I was having a severe panic attack and ended up getting violent and had to be hospitalized. This HPPD disorder usually occurs with an overdose of one drug or a dangerous mix of several. PCP, DOB, Bath Salts, amphetamine, opiates, nightshade, and huge Benzo-withdrawal. This disorder can also be from LSD, similar analogues, 2c-x, Mescaline and jimson weed.

There is also a thing called a K-hole; since ketamine is a dissociative. If you don't feel like you are schizophrenic then you will have a tremendous anxiety and panic. Not to mention the other paranoid ideations, quasi-delusions, the confusion and inability to concentrate. I understand i have basically had it for 5 years now.

This issue here is that you have tremendous panic but you are on a massive dose of Xanax and Xanax, as you probably know, is very addictive and may cause seizures if you were to get off it too quickly. I mean it seems to me that you are on a very big dose. I would have been better had you been put on Klonopin or Ativan. Benzodiazapines will only make your life slightly more bearable but won't get you back to normal 100% in no time. I feel that at this point you probably have symtoms of PTSD. I believe both disorders can be very similar in terms of panic/anxiety disorder. Try some SSRI's or Wellbutrin, I think. Ask doctor what he/she thinks. Stay positive if you can.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Xanax withdrawal can cause the 'breathing walls' effect by itself, no hppd, so that's something to consider.... I would personally take klonopin over xanax if you're willing to take a benzo because it has a much longer half-life so you won't notice any rapid withdrawal symptoms.

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There is hope in medication but it's all a personal preference imo. I just started Methadone about a week ago and, being high on heroin excluded, this is the best I've felt in a lloonggg time. This is after I've been through a lot of meds, including benzos, and never really found that much relief until now.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I just re-read your post and realized some things.........you are lucky! I am about 10 years older and I am in virtually in the same predicament as you. You are only 22. None of us deserve this. And some of us have been "accidentally" dosed as well. If you look historically at people who have become LSD "casualties" (or of any hallucingen), you see similar stories. Syd Barrett, of Pink Floyd, lived in the infamous Cromwell Road Flat. At this apartment, some people, including the rest of the band, refused to eat or drink anything when they came to visit. Barrett's friends, tag-a-longs, and groupies would often party there and eventually people would virtually lace the entire apartment with LSD: food, drink, toothpaste, who knows? It was certainly only a matter of time before Syd lost his marbles.

Another story is the story of Jimi Hendrix and some of his fellow musician. First, let's talk about Billy Cox, Jimi's longtime Army buddy and Band of Gypsy bassist. Billy Cox was not into drugs much, certainly not hallucinogens. In fact, even by 1969, i don't believe he ever took any. Well, Jimi was touring over in Europe with Billy Cox in either 1969 or 1970. Billy Cox had to go back to the states and discontinue touring with Jimi because someone laced his drink with an LSD overdose. He lost his mind and basically had a nervous breakdown. Later, it was found that this was also happening to Hendrix himself, a lot, and it has been speculated that one (of many) of these people who were "slipping him mickeys" was his own manager, Michael Jeffrey. Jimi was trying very hard to get rid of Jeffrey because he had been giving Jimi a "sore deal" for quite a long time. It has also been speculated that Jeffery basically "had him killed", for fear of being fired and that he also had quite a large life insurance policy on Hendrix.

Another story is of Phil Lesh, bass player for the Grateful Dead. One night before a show, Phil walks into the dressing room and see like seven or 8 people he knew as friends and acquaintances of the band. They have this jug of Apple juice and people are taking swigs off it. They ask him if he wants a sip. He takes a swig. And immediately his nervous system goes into panic mode. Because he could TASTE the LSD in the juice. Usually known as an odorless, tasteless drug: You know you've taken a lot if you can TASTE it! Well....comes to find out that bunch of people put in their GRAMS-worth each. So there could have been 10 GRAMS of LSD in that jug, and he just took a swig. Well.....Mickey Hart had to convince a deer-in-the-headlights Lesh by "peeling him off the ceiling", to get on stage to finish the show.

The CIA gave one of their operatives, Frank Olson, LSD when he wasn't expecting it (very large dose) and the man ended up jumping out of 18th floor window of a building, down to his death.

There is also a story about Arnie Lerma, ex-Scientologist, who welll......watch this video and a couple other related videos ....also esp. the video of the actually raid....anyway this guy ended up with millions suing the cult

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  • 2 months later...

Thanks for the videos I enjoyed them. It's true about all of those acid casualties, sad stuff. If you see Phil Lesh, you can just tell that dude has been far out. Same thing with Jim Morrison, that guy went bonkers and drank himself to death. I think LSD can be a good thing, if done safely, and only a one time thing or so. It certainly had a profound effect on me, and it didn't give me HPPD. It was the dirtier hallucinogens that did that. This guy father john, was the drummer for the fleet foxes, when he apparently had an awakening on LSD while driving his van and ended up in San Fran. He's a pretty big advocate of it, seems to have done it a lot, and hes a freak. Make you wonder if these grooves are him, or Lucy. Of course this, is an HPPD thread, so this is all vaugely relevant. Hahaha, just thought i'd post the music!

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