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Hello.. Need some advice...


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Hello to everyone...

Before i start let me just say thanks to any one reading this...

I am 29 and i have had what i assume to be HPPD for about 6 months.

I dont know what caused it, i have never taken LSD (because i was scared of getting HPPD... LOL) but about a year ago i smoked DMT and until about a month ago used to take lots of MDMA

When it started it was very subtle and seemed to be only after smoking weed.. I started to get serious bouts of paranoia where i would convince my self that i had some dreaded illness, none of which i had.. About the same time i started to notice strange geometric fuzziness in my vision, but again only after smoking weed and very subtle.. These symptoms increased until i was feeling very paranoid and depressed and was seeing very definite weird shit when smoking weed.. The only way i can describe it is a geometric mesh in my vision that would come and go... I decided it was time to quit the weed, which was very hard but it did make a big difference and the paranoia and depression have stopped ever since. Also i no longer get the geometric mesh, but i do still get strange visual disturbance. Now its like bubbles of light that will appear at random moments through the day with no warning. Its quite subtle but its definitely there... Some days more than others but its very random... Last time i took MDMA was new years and i noticed for about a week after i was absolutely normal.. No bubbles of light and every thing seemed fine but after a week or so it gradually started to come back which is when i decided it was probably time for complete detox..

I have dont know really what is going on with all this it has been freaking me out since it all started.. I dont know weather it was my DMT trip, but that was 6 months before i had any symptoms, or just all the MDMA i have taken over the years or whether the cause makes any difference but i do know this whole shit is getting me down... Im sure everyone here can relate... It does not really effect my day to day living but, i cant go out and party or smoke a joint in the evening, which in some ways is a good thing and i have been super productive at work and have alot more money now i dont smoke a half ounce a week, but its still a bit fucked and i worry about it alot.. Been doing mediation for the last week or so which seems to be helpful as it makes me feel alot better if nothing else..

Any way thanks for reading this, and i would love some advice or opinions, as long as its positive.. Sorry to have to say that but im just trying to stay positive at the moment, dont think i can handle any predictions of doom right now :unsure:

"Its better to have tried it and regret it than to regret not trying it" something my mum said :D

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Sounds like it could be mild hppd. I think LSD hppd is the strongest and these other drugs can cause it but maybe not as extreme?

When I got hppd smoking weed made it way worst especially the paranoia it caused. Doing drugs is like playing Russian rolloute you never know when the bullet hits. My advice quit all drugs and try to live as healthy as you can. Hopefully it gets better.

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It is worth remembering that (in my opinion at least)... all the things we see with hppd are natural.... our brain should be filtering them out, but they are natural. My point is, the more you focus on your visual field, the more weird stuff you will see (that goes for people who are 100% drug free).

As you are still in the mild/pre stage of hppd, the best advice really is to try and ignore these symptoms. Like most, i'm sure you wake up and check to see if anything has changed in your vision, this is a mistake, as you are forcing yourself to look for things that are already there, but we tend to filter out.

Go sober, excersise, eat healthy and just fill your life with things to keep you busy. I'm sure you will think less and less about this as time goes on.

Good luck, Jay

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