Hi I'm new here can I get some help?

[Shannondances]

Ok I'm not sure if I actually have hppd but there's something wrong with my eyes. I've never actually tripped but ive smoked weed and taken Molly. My eyes are getting better since I've slowed down though.

When I have my eyes oped or closed I always see sparkly static no matter what. If I'm in a dark area or dark room with a tv it gets worse and sometimes it's hard to see anything with the static.

Also, if I look at a carpet with a strange pattern the floor will start to seem to shift and move strangely. If I look at tile floor with small tiles I see lines that aren't there and will just stare in awe at the floor.

If I don't drink massive amounts of water I get dizzy spells/lightheaded/starry eyed.

Sometimes my mind zones out and I have no clue where it goes. I can stare at something and not realize it.

This doesn't happen anymore but I also used to have random thoughts about nasty and violent things. Blood, gore, peoples insides, and cutting of skin.

What does this mean? Cann anyone help me out?

[Shannondances]

Also if I look at something for a moment I can see traces of it when my eyes move away. Lights or otherwise.

I see shifts in my vision randomly and sometimes with my heartbeat.

Things jus look strange and no one knows what I'm talking about..

[Jay1]

Hi, it sounds to me like you have the warning signs, or pre-hppd. Probably from the MDMA(I'm assuming that is "Molly", not down with you kids anymore ). I accredit most of my HPPD to MDMA, this is not just an lsd problem.

Have a good, long break from all drugs... do plenty of excerise and eat well. See how you are in a few months, hopefully this will disapear and you will have saved yourself years of hurt. Make sure you learn the lesson though, it is very easy to start everything back up, once you feel well again... Take time to read some of the intros on here and embrace the horror stories, it is worth it. This condition gets much, much worse... I'm sat here 16 years after my last pill and the room is still breathing... not worth it.

If you are in a circle of friends that are all loving taking drugs, you will have to be very strong minded to say no when the party starts.... I would explain the situation to your friends and tell them you want to take a break... It will soon seperate your good friends from your drug friends.

Good luck, Jay

[Shannondances]

Thank you so much. I've read so much on here and I don't want it to happen. What does do and dr do to you? Cuz my dad used to do a lot of drugs and he was not mentally stable at the end of his life and I'm wondering if this is genetic.

My friends also thin I'm jus overreacting and im jus nervous... I want to make sure I'm not making it up I mean my vision is definitely not right and it hasn't been for a while once I found this I was convinced I had very mild signs of it. I get headaches from looking at things sometimes like the things I'm looking at are his weird...

[Shannondances]

I've also seen tracers since before I knew what they were. Since I was little and didn't even know about drugs and alcohol. Idk what this means or if it has anything to do with this..

[Jay1]

I imagine it can be genetic, yes. It seems most mental problems are.

dp/dr is a a feeling of not being in your own body and not fully grasping reality. It is a horrible feeling, perhaps the worst symptoms.

Be firm with your friends... some wont want hear there could be down sides to the lifestyle they enjoy... but the true friends will understand.

[alice-acid]

if your friends think you're just being nervous and over reacting maybe you should show em some of the things on here

[shaolinbomber]

Sounds like some mild HPPD for sure. But read what Jay said carefully. The disorder can become much worse and you dont want to go down that road.

[HBB]

Yep. Pre-HPPD or minor HPPD. Stop where you are and count yourself lucky. You got to experience drugs. Now your time with them is over. It is time for a new chapter in your life. You will either stop the drugs completely, or regret permanent condition of potentially horrific symptoms the rest of your life. The intrusive thoughts you have (chopping people open, guts, gore, etc), I had those as well. I would catagorize this as an HPPD symptom as well.

Cash your chips in and move on and enjoy the aspects of life you can only really enjoy with the absence of any and all drugs. I know that sounds hard, and even sounds crazy. I remember when I smoked weed every day all day that life without weed seemed crazy. Any huge lifestyle change is an enormous task.

There are benefits and drawbacks of life with or without drugs. Hallucinogens can expand your consciousness, show you music in ways you will never experience again to the same degree (unless you strengthen your mind, which will allow you to notice more stimuli, and thus recapture some of that drug-like experience), etc etc etc, and those things are wonderful. But they also have this hell-side effect of HPPD. If you are getting HPPD, trust me, every single hallucinogen you try from this point on you will regret. Enormously. If you want to know how bad HPPD can get, you can read my introduction, or you can just ask me, and I will scare the fucking shit about you. You wanna know what it's like to live in a nightmare, a real nightmare, where you wimper at night in terror at shadows, I can tell you about them, and much much much much more.

So, basically to sum up: there are positives and minuses to a life with hallucinogens, and positives and minuses to life without them. You now get to enjoy the second part. It is a different life, and, trust me, the rewards are great and wonderful in their own way.

[Guest Adam]

damn ! HBB good looking out