Just found out that this forum exists and a few months ago what HPPD is. Figured I share my story what made me come here sadly
Around year ago I did my first ever psychedelic around 50ug of LSD, even before that a year I did 2-3 times MDMA, for the first days I didnt notice anything unusual, I felt good actually. Then came the strange morphings in my visions in low light conditions, I actually saw my tattoo on my forearm become a full sleeve on my arm, for many months after still...strange feeling, I immediately know whats going on, some kind of after effect of the LSD, so I got scared away from psychedelics,...after that I only touched weed which I had no problem with it, up until this point, a few weeks ago, I been on a really down point of my life, been struggling with anxiety and depression most my life, but the last few years I felt like its getting better, however, I figured I give a try to microdosing LSD, maybe I will get my life together with the help of it. I always looked at drugs as tools, never as something just for fun, so I started 2 weeks ago, taking around ~30ug, then 3 days off, and again..until the 4th time, I felt positive I really thought this can help me, get things set in my life. but...after the last dosage, on the next day I went to bed for an afternoon sleep, got a weird like LSD dream, which best I could describe as the oncoming of LSD that feeling, that gets stronger and stronger, at that point I woke up, all of a sudden, panting and somewhat scared,.. with a ringing ear(tinnitus) and mild visual snow,(i think i had it before but now more aware maybe?!, and the floaters. I knew what was going on, HPPD - because around 2-3 months ago I bumped into this HPPD thing, so I briefly looked it up.
Like everyone else here, I'm also scared that I have two live with this and just wont go away, and literally no cure for it,
Also annoyed by the fact that didn't even properly had the chance to know more about psychedelics, because I still want to know whats my mind has inside, but my well being is more important.
However I gonna stop experimenting, even with weed, been on regularly weed(2-3times a week) which helped me the most, but I tried smoking few days ago, and made the tinnitus worse sooo...,
I'm just try and gonna focus on things that matter now, stay focused, get goals, live life without fears, get a better life!
I just really wish the ringing would go away, thats really annoying, I don't wanna focus on it and dwell on it every time I hear it in my head, but it's there..hopefully gonna slowly go away.
So Idk if anyone Remebers me but I was freaking out about possible hppd the past couple months. Lucky for me I only got Visual snow and homestly not strating to bother me anymore. My last LSD trip was last augest and my last time smoking weed was in march. My anxiety has died down almost completly besides the lightheaded part but that's getting better to. If anyone is looking for some good OTC vitamins that can help with anxiety take a look into SAM-E, I was talking to a guy over Xbox live and he went through everything o was going through drug wise and he said SAM-E changed his life so I gave it a try. Id say 11 days later my anxiety was almost gone. Idk if it's a placebo effect or not... lol it's working. Hopefully the visual static will go away one to but my biggest fear is it worsen. Do you guys think it will get worse over time?
Curious if anybody's tried SAM-e for depression and if so what this did for visual symptoms. I've been on it for about a week and it's helped with depression but I do think it's increased snow a bit. On the other hand I feel a bit more in tune with reality and colors seem more vibrant. I'm going to continue to up my dose as I'm not noticing anything too negative. I'll try and update this in a week or so so given it's difficult to search for "SAM-e" on the site.
I am posting this tonight after a long time of having HPPD, to compare my symptoms to everyone elses, and most importantly be convinced that my symptoms are just symptoms.
Like most people with HPPD the anxiety of thinking it is something else can kill, and I am hoping to get some perspective on this here from other people with HPPD.
I have read through the forums many times, and have seen my symptoms many times, but I guess something about me posting it gives me some sort of peace of mind?
You input it greatly appreciated!
I am a 20 year old, college student.
Healthy & Athletic (All my life)
HPPD 2 Years
(100% of the time symptoms increase with anxiety)
-Blue Field Entopic Phenomena (White blood cells visible against blue sky)
-Trails on lights in dark. Especially RED
-Random lines at night
-Scintillating multi colored patterns in white walls in certain lighting (like a line of tie die through my vision that kinda morphs around)
-Outlines, "Auras" around people/objects against light backgrounds (re appeared after further drug use, disappeared for a while)
-VERY slight Depersonalization, derealization. (rarely)
-Panic Attacks (Rare)
-Slight after images. Pressing on my eye, stare at the tv screen, etc. (Can get images out of them if i'm super anxious, very rare though)
Ecstasy, Adderral, Weed
Timing: Ecstasy at 16. 3 month period (often) until bad trip. 1 year & half later BOOM HPPD Symptoms. (VERY late onset)
Started again (foolishly) A year ago, dosed pretty heavy every once in a while (monthly), quit about 3months ago after anxiety killed me (&truthfully want to change my life)
Once RIGHT before my first HPPD symptoms occurred. Had first Panic Attack, started noting HPPD symptoms shortly after.
Periodically since I was 15. Never been a big fan due to it generally caused me anxiety.
Medical History: (I've never mentioned the drugs)
-Struggled with anxiety & migraines as a young kid. Disappeared until it resurfaced with HPPD (Not migraines just anxiety)
-Neurologist (I described most the symptoms) Dismissed it as something he didn't see as worrying
-Optometrist (Diagnosed with astigmatism)
-Ophthalmologist (Assured me nothing wrong with eyes)
I have NEVER taken LSD/ACID
& maybe this has a correlation as to why my symptoms are not as bad as other people having hppd?
I'd say compared to some things I have read on this board, my symptoms are definitely lighter than others.
Does this sound like a typical case of HPPD and nothing else?
I really wonder sometimes if there could be something else wrong with me. I've never had a brain scan or mri but is it really necessary?
What else could it all be?