Enjoying my HPPD, still taking LSD.

[Purps]

I had an extremely hard time accepting it at first, but after a few months I've learned to enjoy it. The panic attacks kinda suck and I feel like I'm a little less in control of my emotions, but I still find micro dosing beneficial. The way I see it, it makes life more interesting. Should I stop with the micro dosing, can this get worse to the point that I DON'T like it? Is it bad that I DO enjoy it, and do I have to stop skydiving?

[Guyindubai]

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[VisualDude]

 

[Purps]

Like the pics! Are you calling me a Troll? This is an honest question.

[SlavicPsychonaut]

HPPD always has a potential to get incrementally or exponentially worse. If you enjoy it, you're probably on the pre-HPPD echelon; I can smoke high THC cannabis without any deleterious effects on my HPPD, but the vast majority with this neuropsychological illness cannot. I even indulged in psilocybin mushrooms last summer to assuage my persistent pessimistic trip state to no avail. The vast majority of HPPDers on this board would advise you to remain entirely clean and sober for a minimum of a year to see a reduction in symptoms. Using drugs post-HPPD just isn't a conducive scenario to your psychological health; I deal with co-morbid drug addiction so it's difficult for me not to be enhanced most days. I do have two years of complete abstinence post-HPPD without much amelioration in symptoms without taking Klonopin.

[Purps]

Hmm I have scripts for Klonopin and ativan. The HPPD is already pretty intense. Visual snow daily, starburst,trails, tinnitus and many others but I don't find it to be unbearable. I don't want to leave Lucy, she was such a good friend! If you guess think I should knock it off, I might. I just still find the micros beneficial.

[Purps]

How does this all come into play legally??? Can I still drive? Skydive? Pack parachutes? I've tried asking lawyers and no one knows.

[Purps]

Friends and family have said that my behavior has changed, that I'm more irritable and my emotions are exaggerated. The micros are What makes me feel normal and happy. This is a bad thing, I'm assuming. So I need to stop and be bitchy from now on? That kinda sucks.

[SlavicPsychonaut]

I don't condemn psychedelics at all, I'm just being objective in stating that further exploration can be detrimental to your recovery, but if it's bearable and the microdosing is beneficial, you can keep dosing?!?! I dunno, lol..I had a bad trip on three hits of some cosmic, white fluff back in 2011, so I'll be abstaining from Lucy for life; no more tryptamines or phenethylamines for me. Legally, you won't suffer any ramifications; I still drive, go hunting and sport shooting, etc.

[SlavicPsychonaut]

I don't condemn psychedelics at all, I'm just being objective in stating that further exploration can be detrimental to your recovery, but if it's bearable and the microdosing is beneficial, you can keep dosing?!?! I dunno, lol...I had a bad trip on three hits of some cosmic, white fluff back in 2011, so I'll be abstaining from Lucy for life; no more tryptamines or phenethylamines for me. Legally, you won't suffer any ramifications; I still drive, go hunting and sport shooting, etc.

[SlavicPsychonaut]

Perhaps instead of microdosing you can try some nootropics in the racetam family, Kratom, Kava, Lion's Mane, CBD or Rhiodolia. Lucy can be a mystical, introspective teacher, but she can also be a spiteful bitch.

[Purps]

Hmm, I've been taking kava on a daily basis and vaping CBD daily as well. I feel like I'm just in a fog or state of confusion unless I micro regularly. I've stopped for the past few months but that's when people started saying I was irritable and I felt a shift in my disposition.

[Jay1]

Of course it can get worse.... way, way worse.

 

My LSD induced hppd was manageable and probably like you have now, quite strong visuals, but not major mental issues... but once I started taking mdma, i sunk into a hellish state that has lasted 20+ years now. You are now treading a very, very fine line where even a bad hangover might push you over the edge, let alone LSD or other drugs.

 

I'm sure there are no words that can really put across how bad it can become... that might turn you away from drugs... All i'll say is that I would rather be blind, I would rather have terminal cancer, I would rather have both my arms cut off than have my current level of hppd. Is that risk worth it?

[Purps]

From what I've been reading in the forums and your response, I've decided to take your advice. It has been getting noticeably worse even though I stopped for a bit, but I figured it would be manageable. Apparently it can still progress even if I leave Lucy alone. I'm sorry for what everyone is going through, I never meant to offend anyone.

[Jay1]

No offence taken on my part....

 

You're making a wise move and might be able to enjoy a life where you can take all the lessons that LSD taught, without the crippling mental pain... You will probably be able to drink, smoke a bit of weed and just simply live happy (though I would probably have a few months sober to solidify your chances of avoiding mental issues).

 

I'm sure quite a few people here were in a similar place when they were in between certain stages of hppd, where the temptation of drugs was still strong. You live in a great time where you can jump online and get a pretty balanced risk assessment of how things might pan out with further drug use.

[Purps]

Yeah, I will admit that I'm definitely tempted, but I don't want to play with fire. I just don't like being so unhappy and irritable all the time.

[umit]

Why lsd is so dangerous and power full in low doses, now i think about everthing thats have a low dose potentcial it its no mather what i wil skip it, like i buyed noopept for concentration and memory

I have stupidly buyd en later i thougt its potential in a micro dose so its better for the garbage

[Purps]

Yeah. I'm definitely not enjoying this. I thought I could trick myself, "what's wrong with trippin forever?" I get it now. Every aspect of my life is different and not positively. I'd like to retract my post... I don't like this at all and I'm not touching drugs!