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HPPD from E: MDA/Mephedrone


Bugger
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Hey all,

I've been stalking this forum for a while now, haven't had the chance to sign up properly since issues validating my account but here I am. I'm 20 and I live on the eastern coast of Australia.

 

I've had what I think is HPPD pushing onto 7 months now. I got mine from 6-7 months of moderate ecstasy use, 3 first months were every four weeks. There was a month between during university holidays where I'd have 4-6 pills in a night (but would never take two at once); it was more of a keep me going where I'd often stay in the club until 8/9am. After that period I realised how dumb that was of me, and only stuck to 1-3 pills every fortnight/three weeks, which in hindsight was still incredibly dumb.

Anyways, I had my first major scare when I took an e and a capsule of mephedrone (bath salts, which I didn't know at the time//first time taking it), which I had bad hallucinations on for a bit. The next few weeks were horrible/anxiety-ridden, as I've always been against hallucinogens due to their potential of flashbacks -  particularly cos it was bathsalts, I was worried of going psychotic. I had occasional random static on people's faces in the dark which gave me a fright but it slowly went away. I also had this weird static around plain objects, but slowly diminished in time/thought it was always there.

 

4 weeks later my anxiety improved a lot (after exams), and I went out again and took two halves of an ecstasy pill (MDA) throughout the night. Had a few anxious episodes but was all good.
A week later was when I realised I had this faint static on the plain walls, which is when my anxiety shot through the roof - I thought I had done permanent damage. It was only after countless searching up symptoms to when I realised I had just more than static:

- colourful static/flickering vision in dim light rooms, carpets, plain walls, occasionally around objects

- negative palinopsia which sometimes looks like halos depending on light conditions

- colours sometimes got more intense (which now has gone away)

- only trails in peripheral vison/when i blur my eyes... which is normal I think

- colourful spirals in centre of my vision in the dark which come and go

- the feeling of shadows/blotches moving around my room in dark (this is what scared me the most) - intensity varies, read its common from ecstasy abuse...

 

Anywho, reading up on all these symptoms (questioning myself if I got DP/DR, which I don't) got me severly depressed/chronically anxious so I saw many doctors and told my parents. After being on an SNRI for approximately 5 months now, safe to say I've never felt better. My visual disturbances (sometimes I think the SNRI made it worse) are still persistent but only inside or in the dark.

 

I stupidly have done half a bump of ket and GHB a few times, both of which I didn't find interesting/fun at all, without any increases of visual symptoms. I still drink 1-2 times a week without any issues, and play sport twice a week. My ability to focus on things in sport/static in the sky after intense exercise annoys me a little bit but what can you do. Sometimes I'm hopeful that these symptoms will go away, but it seems like 90% of the time they don't so I try not to worry about them.

 

So yeah, HPPDer through ecstasy use

Wishing the best of luck within all your recoveries (y)

 

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  • 3 months later...

I am om the same boat as u I had a steady supply of very good mdma and SAS for a long time starting off doing .1-.2 at a time but I gave it a month and then I was at .3-.4 at a time a month later I WA playing with death doing .8-1.2 at a time my highest dose was 1.6 do this day I still do not know how I did not kill myself in that process I consider myself very lucky and thrue this hole time I did acid every 3 days rarely missing a day but 1 time stuck out in particular when thrue out the day I did 1.6 of mdma and took the strongest acid I have ever had in my entire life and I just remember thinking to myself over and over again like fuck I am tripping so hard this is crazy just completely in my own world everything spinning around me walls were breathing all the grass was purple all the clouds in the sky turned into one big rainbow cloud and cartoons started dancing across the sky and this went on for about 10-12 hours and finally I was able to find someone to sell me xanex so I took that I knocked out slept for like 17 hours woke up and just felt extremely off but did not think much of it and went out with my friend and we smoked some weed and like it just shot me back up to my hardest point in the trip and my friends assured me that was normal that smoking weed shortly after tripping will do this but as the days went on this reputedly happend to the point were I would smoke just a little bit and feel so high and be tripping that it worrying me and after about 2 weeks of this I noticed I would smoke weed and after 3-4 hours it wasn't warring off like normal it was progressively staying around longer and longer to the point were I would smoke in the morning and be tripping all day like I just ate a strip and I realized there was something major wroung but befor I realized this I was dumb enough to think one day hey if i trip face off smoking I wonder what would happen if I took acid and smoked and I got the same acid I had that one day that was amazing and took 2 and smoked and it basically shot me into outer space I was already tripping face off smoking but when the acid kicked in I was in my own would we were driving down the road and all the houses looked like they were from cartoons and the road was purple and 3d and all the other cars were just random objects and I ended up going to the hospital where they kept me for 5 days they put me in a dark room to not stimulate me and it made me go mentally insane there were dragons flying around me I couldn't tell what the ceiling was or if I was looking at the wall or floor and this went on for 5 days till finally it mellowed out and I was released under strict watch by my parents and ever since then the whole world I am just stuck in a state of being unconnected with reality thinking about nothing befor u act I cant remember something for more the 5-10 sec without completely forgetting about it with out auto correct it would look like a 3 year old wrought this I can't even type the hole key board is moving it is driving me to insanity

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