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Saw Dr. Abraham got some bad news


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I saw dr Abraham yesterday and his visit was both a positive and negative experience. He told me it was likely that my HPPD would go away. He also said that my case was fairly serious. I have about 8 different symptoms that I described to him. However each symptom is fairly mild and I can go hours sometimes without noticing anything out of the ordinary. I got kind of depressed hearing that my case was "serious" how many symptoms do you guys have and to some extent how severe are they? Id love to compare symptoms since I was always convinced I had fairly mild HPPD and was fairly distressed to here it was "serious" and that he'd dealt with much milder cases. Thanks for any replies

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What sort of symptoms do you suffer from and for how long?

I can say that mine went away to a point of being unnoticeable. It onset 16 years ago and I considered myself cured for a veryong time. That is, until I smoked pot a few months ago. Now it has reared its ugly head again.

You certainly can beat this. Just be cautious. Patience is a virtue.

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I counted and i found 20 syptoms that i have in totaly together in my peak of my disease buth after 3 and half years am doing good the last month for the first time i puted lot of hard work behind it i wil push more to geth everything normal again keep fighting and find your way to beat it from 4 sides psygocical sport healty food and medication and one day it wil be time to close to cure keep fighting and keep pushing never accept it dont give over if you want advice mail me

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Let's see I have trails but only on contrasting colors. Weird running of parallel lines that are visible on carper patterns. Shoots of light along lined surfaces (ie border of a rug) but only if I'm watching TV usually. I get negative afterimages but not horrible, virtually no positive ones. My phone screen will leave a hell of a trail in the dark but none at all in the light. I get shoots of light out of my peripheries sometimes if I catch a bright light source. I can go outside without noticing anything in bright daylight. No visual snow, faint geometric patterning in pitch dark. And if I look directly at a light source it will appear to get brighter and dimmer. I also get halos from streetlights but not from most lighting. That's the exhaustive list of my symptoms. A couple I left out because they've seemed to have gone away. I've had HPPD for a little over three months now

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Once you don't have your cognition completely fucked and you dont consider yourself living in hell while being alive like me, than your case may not be "that" serious. Every HPPD is a serious condition - because you basically can't take drugs, have to be carefull with drink or very often not be able to drink at all, not smoke cigs - or like me, can't even be around people who smoke cigarretes - once i smell them the day finishes for me. My visual (nevermind that) AND my cognitive reaction decreases.

 

So, its a serious condition, but once it doesn't SERIOUSLY destroys your life/personality etc,.. if your cognition is intact, then you should be super happy.
If you think your case its mild, than it probably IS mild.. unless you have some unreal methods of coping with really serious problems, but then ud probably say my problem is serious, but I learnt to cope with it.

 

enjoy life bro
and join our hppd project if you wanna improve your HPPD, no matter how serious it is :)

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Once you don't have your cognition completely fucked and you dont consider yourself living in hell while being alive like me, than your case may not be "that" serious. Every HPPD is a serious condition - because you basically can't take drugs, have to be carefull with drink or very often not be able to drink at all, not smoke cigs - or like me, can't even be around people who smoke cigarretes - once i smell them the day finishes for me. My visual (nevermind that) AND my cognitive reaction decreases.

So, its a serious condition, but once it doesn't SERIOUSLY destroys your life/personality etc,.. if your cognition is intact, then you should be super happy.

If you think your case its mild, than it probably IS mild.. unless you have some unreal methods of coping with really serious problems, but then ud probably say my problem is serious, but I learnt to cope with

enjoy life bro

and join our hppd project if you wanna improve your HPPD, no matter how serious it is :)

It's more that I just can't stop fixating on it, I just mean that the visual distortions that I experience seem mild compared to most and my biggest hold onto hope was that I had a mild version of HPPD and would be more likely to recover because of it. That and (beyond all probability) my best friend developed the same symtoms from using the same drug and he's able to just tune it out, and his distortions are honestly a little worse than mine. I just got real discouraged by that statement from the Dr. Also Id love to join the project if that could be explained to me.

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Dr Abraham is no one to tell you your case is very serious if you do not consider it to be. Everyone has different symptoms with different severities, and there are symptoms which people subjectively consider to be worse than others.

 

As previously mentioned, every case of HPPD is severe in that it's an alteration of neurological function and consequently you have to watch your intake of substances (both legal and illegal) from now on.

 

I know I'm repeating a previous poster, but if you think you have a mild case of HPPD and can generally get on day-to-day without any problems, then you probably DO have a mild case of HPPD. But that's not to say you should take it lightly. You have to be sensible for the rest of your life.

 

Most people on this forum seem to suggest the non-visual symptoms (which not everyone experiences) are worse than the visual symptoms. Although tremendously flawed, the DSM diagnostic criteria for HPPD actually states:

 

B. The symptoms in Criterion A cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

 

Why have you put Klonopin in the tags? Has Dr Abraham suggest you take it?

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It sounds like very positive news as long as your don't fixate on the word "serious".

 

If your own mind thinks it is a mild case, then that is all you need to know... Doctors get it wrong.

 

If it was serious, you would know and the pain would be there every second of the day. There is no respite. I hope that doesn't sound patronising or belittling of your case.

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I am taking klonopin that's why it's in the tags, although for me it seems to not help my visuals at all. So for most of you is HPPD inescapable every second of the day? Because I can go long periods of time not noticing any symptoms, especially if I'm outside. I am just a very ocd like person I suppose and I don't have much dp/dr, although I did at first. I am just terrified by all the little visual anomolies.

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If your biggest problem is anxiety over the visual abnormalities then that theoretically should be the easiest symptom to overcome. Just remember they're only visuals - they're not a threat and they're not themselves dangerous. You just have to get use to them and not focus on them - that way you ignore them and even forget about them. I'm so used to my visuals now I often forget about them - even at night time when they're worst. My vision has changed now and I just accept it. That's what you've got to do. You might even want to consider taking a break from this site - for some people they find that helps.

 

Does Klonopin help you in any other way? If not it's pretty pointless taking it.

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Don't worry, you will get used to it and in weeks time its not gonna bother you much anymore. Maybe if you try snap out of it every time you do fixate on it, will help you a lot. But even if you woun't try, you will start to ignore it with time.

about the project: http://www.evernote.com/l/AbRcywcu-55EIYDeDPUG3GLpBqsd1cRmkHc/

pm or e-mail me for more details

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If your biggest problem is anxiety over the visual abnormalities then that theoretically should be the easiest symptom to overcome. Just remember they're only visuals - they're not a threat and they're not themselves dangerous. You just have to get use to them and not focus on them - that way you ignore them and even forget about them. I'm so used to my visuals now I often forget about them - even at night time when they're worst. My vision has changed now and I just accept it. That's what you've got to do. You might even want to consider taking a break from this site - for some people they find that helps.

Does Klonopin help you in any other way? If not it's pretty pointless taking it.

Klonopin=Anxiety relief, at least to some extent. Id love to be taking more but obviously that's a poor choice given benzodiazepine withdrawals are possibly more hell than HPPD itself. Plus I've seem minor improvements even in these three and a half months. And thanks for everyone's enthusiastic help. As for leaving this site, I guess I'm not quite at that point yet, still want to figure out of my case really is as bad as Abraham said. It tortures me for sure but are my visual anomolies really that severe in comparison to others? Given what I've read on this forum I find that a little tough to believe. My regular pdoc also expressed surprise upon hearing that. I just have trouble coping with any little visual anomaly they scare the hell out of me

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It troubles me to think that doctors put people on such a strong, addictive medication after just a few months of suffering the disorder. Your body and mind need time to heal and learn to cope. I think complete sobriety is the only way to know if you are healing naturally.

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The cognitive (DP/DR etc.) and anxiety is what makes this disorder serious. Atleast thats what i think. I didn't have anx and much DP/DR when it was mild but a lot of anx. Now i have full dissociation without meds, literally years went by that i do not recall even happened pre meds.

While i do agree with Jay that you need to be off meds to now if a natural healing is progressing, i do not see any issue with adding meds for a couple of years if months have passed and nothing happens. Of course if any other route of treatments have been investigated.

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Yea, meds have their place, certainly (I have a bottle of klonopin and lamicatal in front of me as I type!)... And perhaps very bad instances where someone is suicidal or really, really struggling to come to terms with it, then meds within the first few months would be a wise move.

 

Other than that though, it seems the doctors are jumping the gun a bit.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I am taking klonopin that's why it's in the tags, although for me it seems to not help my visuals at all. So for most of you is HPPD inescapable every second of the day? Because I can go long periods of time not noticing any symptoms, especially if I'm outside. I am just a very ocd like person I suppose and I don't have much dp/dr, although I did at first. I am just terrified by all the little visual anomolies.

 

For me it is never, not there...24/7 for the last two decades.  I guess it is just a "new normal" for me but, no, I never get momentary breaks from everything looking like a candle has been melted over it...

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