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What is and what Isn`t HPPD?


Eissen
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Hi All,

 

It may sound like a strange question, especially coming from someone who has been suffering with Hppd for over ten years. (This is my first post for years and years but I was a regular poster on the original site. username CleebridgeFinest) But I`m still not clear what really constitutes `Hppd`, as far as I understand Hppd is just the `visuals`, afterimages, `static` etc etc. Some people also report other symptoms, Dp/dr, head pressure etc are these seperate conditions or manifestations of a `greater hppd`?

 

To be honest, initially I thought Hppd was like a death sentence, that one can`t live with it, like being diagnosed with HIV or something, but over time I`ve kind of realised its really not a big deal...at all! The ammount of millions of people walking around with much more severe and truly serious mental health conditions, everything from parkinsons to psychosis. They are conditions that make life almost un-liveable. I`m not trying to make light of hppd, five years ago I would never have contemplated writing this and wouldn`t have accepted it if someone told me this, my theory is that there is a very high link between people with hppd and OCD and similair pyschological conditions. I know of cases of people who have ingested hallucinogens developed hppd and never `realised` they had a problem, just they had slight visual abnormalities that weren`t worth much of a second thought. Its like is a house spider wanders onto someones hand, one person will jump a mile and find it traumatic while another person will calmly brush it off and not care. 

 

My problem now is with a kind of dp/dr(assumed), I`ve accepted the Hppd part and that its not that big of a deal and is a very minor impairment that I have to learn to stop turning in my mind into something more important than it is. I`m hoping I can deal with the non-hppd side separately and try to fix what I can fix and and let go of what I can`t.

 

Bringing it back to a question, what are the boundaries of hppd? Any comments or thoughts would be appreciated.

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I've always maintained that hppd is a collection of various mental disorders, which makes it so hard to quantify and treat.

 

Visuals

Anxiety

Depression

DP/DR

 

Seem to be the main disorders, and they all feed off each other. If I only had the visuals, I could breeze through life. DP/DR and the anxiety that brings are the things that make me feel mentally ill.

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Hi,

 

I hear what you`re saying, I think there is a bundle of symptoms involved in Hppd but at the same time I don`t think they are all necessarily from the same source. Often disorders have a core symptoms and then related accompanying conditions but these accompanying or co-conditions are still seperate conditions. If we look at it that way I think its the only way to make progress, Hppd is definitely a neuro-chemical problem and so therapy etc wont help, but if we say all the rest of it is neurological we give up hope of alleviating the co-conditions before we begin.

 

For a week or two after I took a hallucinogen(my first and only), I had no dp/dr depression anything whatsoever then one day when I was reading up on salvia(which I loved at the time) I had the mother of all panic attacks(where I beleived I was being pulled back into salvia world) and the dp/dr etc etc began, i.e it began separately a whole fortnight later. It was fuelled by massive traumatic anxiety which I`ve never really let go of, in part I think because I convinced myself it was all a brain problem but nearly everyone says dp/dr is an anxiety problem not a brain problem(by brain I mean neurological).

 

I think if we don`t learn to deal with each element of our conditions in their own way we will doom ourself to stay depressed and hopeless. For years and years I obsessed about finding the silver bullet, I`d take a pill and everything would be okay, just this week I was online shopping for high dose niacin, 5htp etc but realised it was pointless.

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Yea, i tend to attack each problem as separately as possible. Unfortunately, one of life's little jokes seems to be that anti-depressents make the anxiety and visuals worse and benzos that help visuals, anxiety and dp/dr make me depressed!

 

I managed to get the depression on track through healthier lifestyle and exercise though... That was the one disorder that really made me want to stop living. Life is no bundle of fun now, but it is substantially better than when depression was my main problem.

 

btw - Salvia is crazy, the most out of body shit i ever tried... I could feel my "soul" get sucked out of my body each time I did it... Strange stuff and still, to this day, makes me question the idea of reality,

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HPPD can bring you anxiety, depression which is obvious since it's such a huge negative impact on our lives. But if our brains has been rewired to an anxious state and depression? I highly doubt that. There are numerous of succesful people with HPPD that doesn't suffer more of anxiety, depression or DP/DR than anyone else. It's a lot tougher, but manageable.

 

Can a tramua such as a bad trip or the panic of getting HPPD in the first place put you into a state of DP/DR? Yes, most likely if you have psychological issues previously. I didn't think my psychological problems was worse than anyone else, I had a happy life with managable problems, but right now they are definately worse..

I never had a bad trip or panic attacks previously so maybe there's a chance that the DP/DR is induced by the drug itself.

 

During a hallucinogenic trip the body is disconnected from the mind, there is a dissociation and derealisation, but you most-likely do appreciate it because the serotonin and dopamine levels are incredible high. You have all these kind of visual distortions too, but you like them because you are high. If you remove that high feeling what do you got left? HPPD basicly. Our mind is rewired and expanded by drug-use,, we are stuck in a trip without the great feelings. These are only theories, I can't prove anything but it does makes sense. Like I said there are many examples of HPPD sufferers that don't experience anxiety nor DP/DR or depression, most tend to do that though which is completly understandable.

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Continually tripping without the benefits...
I was just thinking the same thing a day or so ago.
If only I could be one of the lucky few who do not suffer from the MDD my life would be completely different. 
Going on almost 20 years. 
10 years ago i developed pelvic pain of a mysterious nature. It was only until about a week ago I had a neurography done that showed all the nerves in my pelvis are inflamed. 
Doc said its most likely viral but I think there's a mind/body component to it which puts me in an even worse funk because I can't imagine how to combat something like that....
I need help big time guys. 
I"m losing it here.

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Continually tripping without the benefits...

I was just thinking the same thing a day or so ago.

If only I could be one of the lucky few who do not suffer from the MDD my life would be completely different. 

Going on almost 20 years. 

10 years ago i developed pelvic pain of a mysterious nature. It was only until about a week ago I had a neurography done that showed all the nerves in my pelvis are inflamed. 

Doc said its most likely viral but I think there's a mind/body component to it which puts me in an even worse funk because I can't imagine how to combat something like that....

I need help big time guys. 

I"m losing it here.

 

Holy crap.. Do you think that's some kind of side effect to having HPPD for a long time? That your brain just gets so damn exhausted after a while or something. Maybe you should check out some deep brain stimulation. I guess with such a long medical journal that I suppose you got already maybe it's possible to get it for your problems.

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