zukov Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Hello everybody, im 25 years old and im from Argentina. Sorry if my english is not really good. In my country there's no information about this disorder (even in spanish websites) so thank god i found this forum. I will told my history follow: I start this year with a lot of stress because of work and disturbing ideas of diseases, death and 'the pass of time'. In november 2010 i used lsd two times and for the last years i smoke weed regularity. When im on lsd, first i was scary, but 1hs late i feel really good and quiet listening music and playing with geometric patterns. In May of this year, the stress,full anxiety and the paranoid ideas had being worst and i smoke weed and drink alcohol a lot. Trying to escape of that madness i used paxil (paroxetine or aropax in Argentina) and a few hours later i suffer the first of five panics attacks of these week with intermit despersonalization or derealization. In that moment i didn't know what's is going wrong with me, im really scared and when i smoke weed it's calm me down and the first panics attacks dissapears. The last two sincerely destroy my mind, i run to the house of my cousin looking for help and (i was out of my mind) i took clonazepam and bit of wine (something very stupid) . I fall sleep and the next day im okey, no despersonalization and feeling fine. The next day, i suffer another panick attack when im cookin' and i on despersonalization or derealization since then. Three weeks pass until the medical exams are concluded, in that period i think i have a brain tumor or something worse, because the disturbing visual and the loss of equilibrium. My MRI was finally fine (except from a change of seize of temporal lobe) and it's calm me down for a while and the problem of equilibrium disappear completely.My psychiatrist told me i have a extremly low serotonine level and she gave me paxil and clonazepam, and told me several times there's nothing wrong with me or my brain. But i cant believe it, first for my constant despersonalization. A few days later i start to see some geometrical or fractal vision when im going to sleep and i start research found this forum and the controversial HPPD. My symptoms:Palinopsia (lightly time and after images perception altered) Despersonalization or derealization (start to disappear, but i feel like im on weed all day) Floaters: i have 3 on one eye, but i already have it. Objects: if i really focus my mind a couple of minutes (for example, a slick on the floor) it started to moving very very slightly. And when im going to sleep i try to not see the fractal images. I haven't visual snow or fast speed floaters or something similar, nothing of these kind of things.It's funny, because paxil or clonazepam can cause hallucination of the type have been described. The last months i really think seriuosly that im going to die, it's the worst and most horrible experience i suffer in my life. Now i can drive, work, playing music, cook, since May i left the alcohol and pot and started a healthy life, (running, gym, eat fruits and take omega-3) but the despersonalization and visual disturbances continues.I dont know if i have HPPD, im really scared, and it's possible i have other things like post traumatic disorder, a little esquizofrenic, despersonalization because the panics atacks or simply a colateral effects of medication. I really like to read what you think, because in Argentina nobody know's what im talking about (people think im crazy and call me Jim Morrison, funny, but its not). I really appreciate any response of you guys.Thanks a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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