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for those suffering and feeling hopeless


Lobotomizer
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Ive been there and trust and believe I know what its like to be stuck in an alternate reality after the effects of drug wore off. I was suicidal and self destructive with alcohol, but im better now....much better. Im 100% mentally better and visually...well theres a bit of snow and blacks leave some after images but nothing to complain about.

 

I have a request from you. Tell me what it is about your visual phenomena that makes life so unbearable? Just make me a short list or explain your symptoms. But also think about this; if you were born with these symptoms would life still be so bad, or is it simply the memory of what your life was like prior to your onset?

 

Its been long enough to where I cant remember how I would have answered this so I genuinely curious and also would like to help you guys if I can.

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Severely dissociated and depersonalised

Cannot receive any sensory information from ppl or environment

Extreme difficulty attaining an orgasim Bcoz I'm severely dissociated

Surroundings looking like they have no boundaries

Slight green tinge in environment

Ppl look weird

Not able to sense my body in space or time

1 dimensional/expanded screen type vision

Those are the main and most bothering symptoms...I would never choose a long life with any of them and they we terrible and unbearable, yes I can cope temporarily but I can't see myself just coping forever until I die no thank u

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Puppeteer, I worte a very long introduction in the ....well introduction section. Please refer to that, as Ive had a very long road. But to aanswer your question, severe and it was from a high dose LSD experience gone bad. My DP/DR was horrifying. I was psychotic/delusional. and I couldn't sleep....literally drank myself to sleep every night. My delusions mainly consisted of paranoiac thoughts such as an irrational fear that LSD was in my food...even if it was canned or bottled...somehow I justified that it was POSSIBLE that someone in the cannery had accidently dumped a vial of LSD in MY particular can of beans or tuna or whatever. My flashbacks where so scary that I ran out in the middle of a busy intersection screaming bloody murder...

 

Everything was constantly morphing and moving and my body felt like it would move and twist with it at times....tactile hallucinations I suppose is what you would call it. visually I had huge tracers and patterns on every surface. The worst was probably the intense feelings of being caught in an alternate dimension. Like everything I looked at lacked an emotion depth or connection that I used to associate with it.

 

Miss Jess, I really feel for you. This wasn't ment to be a "big dick contest". Maybe yours is bigger (laugh a little, its a joke :D) than mine ever was, but that doesn't mean that recovery isn't in your future. Please read into neuroscience and how they have found that practices such as meditation heal the mind and brain. This could be the beginning to solving these problems. The brain can regrow neural connections....you must continue to fight....I know this might sound redundant but may I ask Miss Jess, do you find joy in anything? When we PMed back and forth I found that you had a sense of humor ;) Stick with that, laughter is very healthy. You should try and focus on whatever brings you any kind of joy and stick with that....like a seed you sow it will sprout into something bigger and better.

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