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I think I have dp/dr


Ashe
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Hello everyone,

 

i'm new to this forum but have been browsing since a few months. About myself: I first got visuals about 4 months ago when I was on mdma. I smoked some pot and suddenly I was experiencing a heavy 2cb trip. Ever since that day I had hppd (static patterns, cev, after-images, walls breathing, text on my computer screen waving). I haven't touched any drugs anymore exept for ghb 3 times. My visuals have decreased a lot but instead I'm starting to experience dp/dr. I feel like I'm watching myself, can't recognize myself in the mirror.

 

Even though I do know who I am and what I'm doing, it's hard to feel like I'm atually doing something, it's more like I'm watching myself from a different perspective. I have ADD (attention deficient disorder) and now with HPPD I can concentrate even less. I sometimes do feel happy when I drink alcohol, but it feels like my happy emotions are locked away and only sometime come out a bit. I seem to  be oversensitive to light (does anyone recognize this?) When I walk outside at night, traffic lights can be very painful for my eyes. My television is turned to maximum energy saving and still feel it's bright sometime. I have nerve twitches randomly anywhere in my body, which occur mostly when I try to sleep or am sitting still

 

The strange thing about this is my friends whom I live with have noticed little to zero about my behaviour. I seem the same person to them, and I sometime don't know if i'm alive or just a ghost.

 

Does anyone recognize these symptoms as I describe them? I'm really afraid the symptoms will become worse. I'm unemployed and can't pay my rent almost. I'm getting more and more depressed and I don't know how to handle this. sorry for my bad english

 

 

Ashe

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Hey Ashe, I felt the same way the first 5 months. Hang in there! I`m 7 months in and the only thing I have left are the visuals, weird random thoughts that stress me out and/or make me lose focus, and head pressure/sensations. My friends also told me I seem fine. Try to find a job that isn`t too hard and stressful and you will be alright. I and many other people managed to keep working. I even wrote a A+ paper during the 1st month where I was sure I was going crazy and didn`t even know this thing is called HPPD.

A lot of it comes down to will power and taking care of yourself.

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Yes, these are symptoms related to HPPD. Especially the feeling of being disconnected from ones self. DP is probably the worst of the two to overcome, just the feeling of not being the same as you were, and I can totally empathize with "your friends noticing no change" it's like you aren't the same, but you are. Fuck, so weird.  

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello everyone, 

 

Sorry for the late respond. I've been really depressive and suffering from insane imsomnia. My psychiatrist has prescribed me fluanxol. I'm supposed to take 2mg every night. Does anyone have experience with this? I know it has some nasty side effects so I wanna make sure it won't get me addicted or whatsoever.

 

Ashe

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