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Does anybody remember what their vision use to be like before HPPD??


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That is my problem, believe it my HPPD started over weed but other chemicals worsened it. Things are just very sharp or animated looking?? Day dreaming feeling, tons of floaters but really only happens when I am driving, seems like my eyes are just taking in to much info, I see shadow people sometimes but not like how I use to when I did meth, it's more just shadows on the wall at night and they form shapes and sometimes resemble people and a lot of times they are waving at me?(Bastards) Visuals when I close my eyes such as light and patterns. Headaches blah blah you get it. The thing is, I don't remember what my vision was like before I got HPPD so sometimes I wonder if it is just all in my head or if my vision has actually changed. It's like I am just to aware of my surroundings and everything gets intensified and not remembering what my vision use to be like pre HPPD makes me wonder if it will ever go away.

Do I just have shitty memory or is this a problem with other people as well?

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well i definitely remember that my vision wasnt as animated as it is now. i used to be able to see textures that didnt move.. or look at objects without distortion or halos. 

 

problem is it is all in your head. not in the way you're saying though. it all comes down to your perception of the world, and the perception you have now is the perception you more readily recall to memory making it difficult to see the past through any lenses other than those you use now. when I have memories of my past play out in my head they're all super stylized like the scene would have been if i experienced it during the worst of the trips ive had in the past. my vision isnt all that has changed, my entire perception of the world and my place in it has.

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I was driving at night yesterday and took a picture. It was a good  reminder that lights dont have starbursts and halos and webs around them. :\ Since most of my visual effects relate to light, taking a picture and looking at it through a screen shows me whats normal.

 

I've come to learn that if I find that something is off but can't pinpoint it, its probably hppd. Like, when I had a blackened vision, i couldnt really tell what was wrong but after a while i realized my vision had blackened a bit. 

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Just a few days ago I had my visuals greatly reduced from keppra. Now its back to the ol' hppd vision.

In my mind I can't recall what it looked like when I was taking the keppra. Even though it was only a few days ago.

i think when your vision is a comprised it's difficult for your brain to process it being another way. I know my vision wasn't always like this but I can't picture what it looked like before. It's feels like my visions has been this way forever.

And yes the majority of people here have issues with memory. Me included.

You're not alone

*Just read disguyhere's reply and ya totally agree with him. Is not just your vision. It's how you actually perceive the world. I get times where the hppd is really popping off and my body feels either larger or smaller depending on my surroundings. Its WEIRD. But I'm still here and I forced myself to go out tonight and the night before to see friends and some bands. felt awkward at times but I did enjoy it over all. Glad I made myself go.

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Also I feel that I am just to aware of it and since I am to aware of it, it will never go away. I can't imagine waking up one day going "Hey everything looks, well different again"(back to normal) because that might even be just as frightening since I can't remember what "normal" is anymore. Hell it's been over 2 years you would think someone would become use to it but it's the first thing I notice when I open my eyes! Also recently I have been experiencing migraines and at night it can get really trippy to the point where I see "shadow people." Reminds me of my meth days BLAH >.< but my tramadol came in today so let us see where this takes me, wish I had the money to see my doc right now I really would like to try gabapentin with it. 

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I do. Let me tell you a short story from my life.
A few months before doing LSD, I was in a really good shape and was running in a forest. It was a hot summer night, the Sun was just setting and sky was clear. Smell of the growing flora was in the air. Then I reached the top of the hill and saw those sunrays coming behind blooming branches. I really felt like I was living! At that moment everything looked and felt so beautiful. 
Then months passed.. I thought I had destroyed all my life by a stupid, one night mistake and never see the world like I did. I was wrong.
Since the worst times, I've had several moments when I'm able to get myself mentally in such a high state and feel the beauty of being present and enjoy my senses.
Never give up. Ups and downs in life will come with or without HPPD. You really can get better.

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Anyone else try my "picture" method? depending on the visual effects, taking a picture of something can really show and help me remember/realize what my 'normal' vision was like. Just taking a picture of a streetlight, i know im not supposed to see all that starburst and halos (even though a camera will naturally pick up some, which in a way gives me some support lol)

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i do that all the time etardnow.. been doing photography for a few years now. i find that some of the side effects of my former acid use have made me a natural at photography as i can visualize changes i make in my camera within my head... but no matter what, the pictures i take are never going to match the image i see. only the framing and composition will match, not the details.

 

I find all aspects of photography help me though. understanfing how a camera works helps you relate to the hppd and the damage done to our visual processing.... 

 

we are all like broken dslrs. the lens may be perfect, but the sensor and or image processor is fucked. however to me with some software hacking we can still take great pictures... just maybe with a bit more infrared included in the sensor, and a little distortion along the edges.

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