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Intrusive images/ racing thoughts


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For aslong as I can remember now I have had constant disconnected intrusive thoughts and images. As if someone is switching tv channels in my head. These thoughts are almost stream of consciousness and I can't tap into it to turn them off. I also get songs stuck on a loop in my head. Or fractions of songs that just pop in and repeat . Which is the main reason I can not sleep at night

. I also get fake memories that have raw emotions attached to them. Like I will picture something that never happened but it will impact me as if it had. It's all very vivid and has gotten worse lately.

In the wake of this recent break up I need to cover my ass. I don't want to spiral out of control, which I pretty much already am

So my questions are

Does Anyone else experiences this?

What are some coping strategies?

I'm starting to unravel all the shit that plagues mind. This is a huge peice of the puzzle for me

Sorry for being a bummer

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Fuck yes I have this. Pardon the French, but it's so annoying! I call it "randomly firing neurons syndrome".
It is exactly as you describe. Definitely messes with cognition. For example; I'd be reading about serious stuff like pharmacology, and all of a sudden my mind flips up an image of Scrappy Doo or some other weird unrelated shit. So annoying!
And with the fake memories.. yes I don't trust my memory because of that. Like I'd be telling someone a story, and minutes later I'll remember it happened totally different, and then I feel like I'm just lying, despite that I merely remembered it in a distorted fashion.

I'm really tired right now and I don't really know anything specific I do to deal with this, so I'll have to observe my strategies tomorrow and report back to you.
My guess is I just label it as "Whoops that was another mindfuck, nevermind that", and over time that process gets easier.

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visualization man... its one of the reasons i've been able to cope enough to do the job i do... at this point i have so many different thought processes that fire up that i manage them like this.. i visualize each independent thought process as thousands of strings hung straight down from a ceiling above me. if i force myself to clearly separate them they'll stay there active, but not intrude on the thoughts im focusing on. I'll visualize myself tugging on a string holding that thought in my hands as it were. 

 

one thing is for sure. the more you purposefully try to avoid it sometimes the worse it makes it. trick for me is acknowledging it and pushing it to the side. those thoughts likely gonna be there a while. best to just understand it, understand what brings it about, and let yourself find a way to push it to the side

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a couple days ago, i was able to remember a dream i had a long time ago, pre-hppd and it felt like a real memory. i remembered some exact details, was quite amused. I was always a frequent and often lucid dreamer. I wonder if that's a predisposition to hppd? anyone else? 

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My brain pops off like fireworks when I'm sleeping. Its not always lucid but I definitely have intense vivid dreams. And ya I can recall dreams from my past too kinda the same as that fake memory things that happens to me. Brains are weird, fuck my brain I want a new one.

Also does anyone get it where if they rub their eyes it's like a pixelated colour explosion? Best I can describe it

Jesus when I step back and look at every symptom I have it's longer than the deceleration of independence

Ps Odisa glad you know what I'm talking about too. Look forward to hearing back

And disguyhere that analogy is a little far fetched for me right now but I hope when Im thinking clearer it will click in.

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Yes, applying pressure to one eye can induce worsened visuals in the open eye (both found by a HPPD study and I experience this myself). Weird stuff; rubbing eyes also messes stuff up. I rub my eyes in vain too much though.. gave me blepharitis.
HPPD seems to encompass much more than merely visuals. I know my symptoms extend to physical/autonomic dysfunction.
As for how I deal with the intrusive thoughts.. Actually what I've explained above is all I do, I think.. Sorry! Just acknowledge it and move on. However sometimes I get the weirdest most annoying intrusive thoughts, which can make me very irritable and anxious. I have no intrinsic ways of dealing with this now, as brain-fog simply sucks and is stressful (like when I can't find my lighter for the 50th time in a day).

So I turn to solutions/aids outside myself, and for now Passiflora seems to make me much less irritable, and I've got some new experiments (yay!) on the way. Some say HPPD resembles PTSD, and in certain ways it does, however I know that although my trip wasn't pleasant, it wasn't exactly traumatic either, which makes me doubt it is PTSD. But many of the mental symptoms do resemble it, so it might help to use PTSD as a.. damn I lost the word. Comparable chart or whatever.. Like look up some info on PTSD see how you could apply advice on that to your intrusive thoughts. I think anxiolysis certainly will help for this, and batting down the hyperactive sympathetic nervous system (which you will have if you are chronically anxious/stressed) will also help. Hence for the time being I'll be looking into plants for this (kind of fed up with synthetics for now). I notice on the Passiflora I have much less of these intrusive thoughts/they bother me less if they do present themselves.. Though after a day of smoking every 1-2 hours I do notice some tolerance or something. Anyway check over at the other topics.. a few of us are trying out new stuff, and it might give you a hobby (botany is pretty awesome) to keep you busy.

Upside of plants is that they are readily available and usually pretty cheap, if not free (as opposed to, say, benzo's). Considering your situation atm I'd presume you're already stressed out, so hey do some research and find something to help you mellow out man :) But yeah.. the usual advice: meditation, but I find it next to near impossible to do so with all the intrusive thoughts.. I've had perhaps 3 fleeting moments of true silence this past year. And if it's really bat shit insane, I find doing some stretches puts the focus more on the body and can help center me a bit. Also, just take frequent breaks to stand up and move.. I find if I sit motionless for too long I zone out easier, which in turn just makes the intrusive stuff worse albeit perhaps less in-your-face. If that makes sense.

Hope that jibberish somehow helps you :)

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  • 4 months later...

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