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Gaz

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Everything posted by Gaz

  1. I have noticed that since I have had HPPD I have been catching way more colds and flu viruses. Also my contact lens optician said I had had a bacterial infection of my cornea as scaring was left behind. This is another sign of being immunocomprimised since I have very good hygiene / care with my contact lenses. I think it's a secondary problem caused by both stress and lack of sleep caused by the HPPD.
  2. I had very bad negative after images for about 2 to 3 months I would say. I would say that even now I am more sensitive to them than I used to be but its not really noticeable unless I focus on finding them. Mine also didn't start straight away. They started about 2 months after my bad trip along with other symptoms. The thing is because so little is known about HPPD and the chemistry of the brain it's very hard to say what causes it. Personally I believe that HPPD is a very mild form of neurological damage. "Damage" is a strong word I prefer "alteration". Just as with neurological damage, the symptoms can appear immediately after exposure or they can be delayed. I personally believe that the receptor agonist drugs like LSD, Mescaline, Psilocybin and all of their relatives cause HPPD by slightly changing the shape or "stickiness" of receptor sites in the synapses in the brain. This then results in real neurotransmitter chemicals either binding to the receptors for too long or not being able to bind at all. The drugs literally cause a huge "power surge" in neural signals and this may have left the existing connections changed or damaged or on the verge of damage. The neurones can only handle so many more signals from normal everyday sober stimulation before they are changed or damaged. This is probably complete bs but it has to be something similar if not. The brain is just a massive collection of electrical and chemical signalling and just like a computer things can go wrong after a power surge. However, the good thing is that, unlike a computer, the brain is resilient and is constantly adapting and changing. Therefore, with proper abstinence from drugs and a healthy balanced lifestyle there is a very good chance of improvement.
  3. For me the worst thing is the feeling that I have passed through a doorway and it has slammed shut behind me with no way of getting back.
  4. No I didn't. I just had a moderate dose of research chemical powder BK-2CB. I think the bad trip has put me off for life. I checked the allergy nasal spray yesterday to check the ingredients and it does contain Diphenhydramine which may have triggered my problems. I would happily have put up with a blocked ear if I knew it would cause these problems.
  5. i have this problem as well I have noticed a reduction in the frequency that I get them. I had them really bad about 4 months ago but now they are almost non existent apart from when I look at bright lights but that's normal. It's basically a problem with sensory gating in your visual cortex so neurons keep firing after the stimulus has been removed. Your sensitivity has been increased to outside visual stimulation. Normally with sensitivity the more you are exposed over time the more it will gradually fade. If it's really bad then sunglasses will offer temporary relief in bright conditions. As with any hppd symptom the more you focus on it the worse it tends to get so just try your best to live with it and it will sort itself out.
  6. Well mine actually started right after I took a decongestant nasal allergy spray for a blocked ear that was prescribed by my doctor. It's as if the bad trip was the gunpowder and this allergy spray was the match.
  7. I'm just curious. When did you first notice signs of your hppd issues? Straight after your trip or did it start a period of time after your drug use? Mine started about 4-6 weeks after a bad trip. I'm just worried I have neurological damage because it says online that neurological damage can be delayed, after exposure to a neurotoxin.
  8. I currently have a very bad cold but it's actually turned into a hppd hell. For some reason my depersonalisation and derealization have replaced my "safe zone" reality since I got this cold. I have a very loud tinnitus which is also now impossible to ignore even during the day. Why does it have this affect? I am convinced I have permanently destroyed a lot of my seretonin receptors from over stimulation. I really hope that I am going to be able to continue studying in a couple of years and that these problems won't hold me back from sitting exams etc. I feel like I have completely thrown away my future by stupidly taking a research chemical. It could have been neurotoxic as there is no research on it to know for sure. Its very hard to stay positive sometimes. I know that a lot of you reading this will agree. I guess you just have to look at the positives. There are millions of people out there with life threatening conditions and all I have is a head full of neuron soup. The most frustrating thing about hppd for me is that you cannot identify the problem and just fix it. If I burned myself I could see the damage and get physically treated for it. With hppd the problem is in the brain chemistry which is impossibly complicated since it is the most complicated thing that exists in the universe. It's not just an organ it's a biological super computer that we know hardly anything about.
  9. Has anyone tried 5-HTP capsules before? It's meant to stimulate the synthesis of seretonin. Since most psychedelics act on the seretonergic system I was wondering if it would have any beneficial effect on HPPD.
  10. Has anyone else had problems with getting sick all the time in the months after drug use. I keep getting colds and the flu. I think i have had 4 infections in the past 4 months. Do psychedelics weaken your immune system for a while? Maybe it's just a coincidence...
  11. Yeah you are right. The problem is in my mind and I have control over my mind it does not control me. I just have to carefully filter out thoughts and brush them to the side. The emotions are harder to control especially despair and anxiety but practice makes perfect. Thanks for the support.
  12. The constant movement could cause muscular pain in the extraocular muscles and this could cause the sensation of head pressure. When did you last have an eye test? Has the underlying cause of your nystagmus been identified?
  13. I had a trip almost identical to what you describe but mine happened on Salvia. Luckily it was very short and sharp and was over after 20 mins. Still very scary though. Dissociation is no fun. Live and learn people have made much bigger mistakes.
  14. So I felt like I was making a very good recovery. My symptoms were only very slight for a couple of weeks and I was feeling very positive indeed. Then the other day I was at work and talking to someone and all i did was think about the time when I had a bad derealization episode and it triggered it all again. Just the thought of it brought my mind back to square one and reality dissolved before my eyes. My hand movements seemed very unusual like the were moving without my control and the person I was talking to turned into a bizarre creature with a very distorted appearance. It's so hard to put this experience into words it's absolutely terrifying and I am so scared of it happening again. Since that episode all of my symptoms are back with a vengeance. I am hoping that this cycle will not continue. It seems like all I have to do is keep my mind on something else but that is so much easier said than done. Anyone else have these sort of problems with triggers like this?
  15. "If you're going through hell, keep going!" - Winston Churchill. I think this is a very good quote for HPPD sufferers. You will get through it eventually, just keep going on with daily life and it will slowly dissolve back to reality. Or your mind will adapt to your new conciousness at least and anxiety will be reduced.
  16. I have just received confirmation of entry to run the London marathon in April 2016 for cancer research. I thought I would start a topic because of the affect it has had on my hppd. Last week I felt very mentally ill and had a horrible body load feeling every day and insomnia. Since I have found out that I am going to be running in the London marathon I feel completely different and a lot (not all) of my symptoms have calmed right down and my anxiety levels have dropped massively. I have started a regular running routine and I feel so much better for it. I think the combination of the exercise, routine activity and the goal itself are a perfect distraction and offer great relief. I also love the fact that I am running for a great charity as this is helping me to overcome the guilt that I still feel from dabbling with psychedelics. I feel like this is the beginning of my path to recovery. I would reccommemd to anyone with hppd to set themselves a goal. It can be anything but try and make it a longer term goal. It will distract your attention away from your symptoms and give you a great chance of recovery. Anyone else got any goals at the moment?
  17. http://ac.els-cdn.com/S0924977X14001461/1-s2.0-S0924977X14001461-main.pdf?_tid=048ed330-6aea-11e5-881d-00000aab0f6c&acdnat=1443999083_2241c0f9a559994ad8c1bd4ad4a3cb5f
  18. Anyone else find that their HPPD is amplified by 10x when trying to sleep at night? I get intense open and closed eye visuals in the forms of moving shapes and fractals. The biggest problem is my racing thoughts about completely senseless and meaningless crap. I am trying to detox so don't want to take any drugs to help me sleep. Anyone know of anything that can help?
  19. I'm glad you overcame it that's very reassuring for me. Do you have any tips for getting over it? How long did it take?
  20. Yeah I know exactly what you mean when you say about the sharpness of the image. It's as if the contrast has been turned up to maximum and all colours, lines, tones are ridiculously exaggerated. I get this a lot and not just with faces but with everything. I find houses and buildings very intimidating now because it's as if they have some sort of life to them because they are so defined. It happens with trees and cars as well.
  21. Thanks for the reply. Yeah it's definitely worse when talking to people that's when I get my biggest episodes. I have noticed an improvement though as I am better prepared for dealing with it when it comes on now and I think this helps to lower my anxiety which then helps keep it at bay. I have stopped drinking alcohol, coffee and obviously stopped taking any form of psychoactive drug and I am trying to get regular exercise. Hopefully it will go over time. The first time it came on was the worst. I honestly felt like I was going to have to give up my job and spend the rest of my life in a mental health ward, it was awful. I am just thankful that I can still function with my daily routines. I think its far better for you to push through it and continue with life as normal as if everything is ok. That's the key o the best healing I think. It can be very tricky though with all the distractions that HPPD throws at you.
  22. Yeah this happens to me as well. The longer I stare the worse it gets.
  23. Ok so one of my most terrifying symptoms usually happens when I am engaging in conversation and eye contact with a person. All of a sudden my perception will change and I wIll perceive the person I'm talking to as some sort of weird talking animal / alien. The colour of their face changes to normally an orange / yellow and all of their features become massively exaggerated. People with "unusual" faces or distinct features cause me the biggest problems. It's so hard to put into words but it really does freak me out and send me into a panic attack. It feels like there is a part in the brain that tells us we know that we are part of the same species as this person I am looking at and that it has been messed with. Anyone ever experience anything similar?
  24. Hi, I'm new to the forum. I have had HPPD symptoms for about 3 months now. I took a 150mg dose of BK-2cb powder (2c analogue) had an incredibly strong and terrifying trip that lasted 18 hours +. 3 weeks after the trip I had no problems at all except I got a bad ear infection and went to the doctor about that. She prescribed me a decongestant nasal spray which I used daily for about a week. I don't know if it was the spray that triggered it but after using that spray things turned very bad indeed. Anyway, the one thing that is causing me the most fear at the moment is the problems I am having with my vision changing into a slow frame rate version of reality. When I look at my hands moving they move like a flip book animation and then it happens to my whole vision, I get anxious and it just gets worse. I then have to go to the toilet at work to take deep breaths and calm myself down to make it stop. Has anyone else had any experiences like this? I'm just wondering if it's HPPD or if its a symptom of a Psychosis.
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