TheGman6072

Not going to name every drug I've tried but just the main ones that contributed to my HPPD. I first got HPPD from 5 months of LSD use between January to June 2014. I tried weed once and then straight to other stuff. Sometimes used LSD 5 days in a row at my worst. I did shrooms too but not very often. The first signs appeared after some of my last trips but I didn't think much of it since it was summer time and I had a great summer but I did have depression and headaches which started around February 2014 and I remember I had ALOT of headaches back then. Didn't notice the visuals until June which was when I stopped all drug use and I was wondering why I was still seeing shit and I had some but not severe trouble reading texts or processing what people were saying to me. I ended up forgetting about it most of the time but when sophomore year of high school started, I really noticed how impaired my mind was. Couldn't understand what teachers were saying so I was constantly asking them to go over shit again. At this time (October to November 2014), I was at the most suicidal time of my life and in November 2014, I had my most recent and last LSD trip and after that I only took edibles. In April 2015 I was tired of only weed so I researched online to see if I could trip on Diphenhydramine for a "cheap high" since I lost access to other stuff. Turned out diphenhydramine can cause hallucinations in high doses so I tried it at first with 150mg. That didn't do much so I started increasing the dose to 250 then to 300mg. Other drugs made me feel free but diphenhydramine enslaved me. The trips were weird but I liked it. a day after I had done DPH, a friend asked me some questions and mentioned HPPD which he also had and it brought everything back to my attention then he showed me this forum. Unfortunately I was retarded and still did diphenhydramine like 5 more times after that. July 2015 was the time when I jumped the dose to 400-425mg and repeated the dose 3 nights in a row and that's when diphenhydramine completely took me to hell. I ended up getting full blown depersonalization and HPPD symptoms got much worse. I was still stupid and did it more in August. In late August I smoked weed again and then the next day I tried Molly. Got more depersonalized and HPPD got worse as expected. I have such a problem with peer pressure lol. I think I should avoid everyone on 4/20 lol. Sorry for the long paragraph but yeah that's as much as I'll share I don't like writing a lot anymore. Typing that didn't give me a panic attack like it usually did but it made me depressed. I'm 5 months sober now though but I still feel like getting high much of the time

Oh no ! They might keep me at my current school but probably in classes with a bunch of retards ! Hell no !

If I get put on Buspirone maybe I can handle school. I have some old friends from middle school at the new school I can end up at

If you don't like the side effects, it should stop after 2 weeks and it starts working better. If not, stop taking it

For me it felt good for the first 3 times although I would get a little uncomfortable sitting in class. The 4th day was crazy but I forgot exactly what happened. Since it was like 2 months ago

I am mildly autistic so I have always been sensitive to sounds because of hypersensitivity disorder but in the past several months, if I get startled, sometimes it causes me to start breathing heavy

I don't think I get a free year since it is either go to another school or go to college early

So I got kicked out of my school for possession of a controlled substance which was not my prescription but I can possibly return next year. This has been a hard week cuz the meds made me an emotional wreck and now I'm still depressed and very depersonalized plus the entire situation feels like it never happened and I'm having trouble processing what even happened. If they don't let me transfer to the other school, which is one of the best in the area, I might just either quit and focus on recovery or get my GED and go to college early which to me is a great opportunity to get my flunked year back. I don't know what to do cuz I want to recover but I also want to be successful. This is hard

I also have a question about it. Is it addictive ?

Update : not really an emotional wreck anymore but I'm still very depersonalized and I'm having trouble processing and remembering what the fuck happened and it feels like it didn't even happen. Anybody else experience this when something bad or crazy happens to them ?

Well hopefully he never does. If he gets HPPD I won't be able to help him much besides showing him this forum or telling him to stay the fuck sober and go see a psychiatrist

I just talked a freshman from my school out of doing LSD. I was so scared for him when I got the message saying he was planning to try LSD and I flipped out. I called him an idiot and told him about HPPD and depersonalization and how I got it and I guess that made him change his mind. Unfortunately he is a pothead and has done DXM and other stuff but he doesn't have HPPD but he could get it if he does LSD !

So after taking Buspirone and Keppra, I don't like how it turned out. Buspirone seemed to make me very sad at first and then made me feel good but then back to depressed. Something just went totally wrong yesterday and it is my fault and I am now an emotional wreck. the other night when it all started, my mom saw me drinking a lot of water because I felt like throwing up but she thought I was swallowing a bunch of pills and planning to die in my sleep. It's been 2 days since I used it and I'm still feeling very depressed and depersonalized. I'm just going to take a week off of school and just isolate myself because even very little negative things are too much. I feel like crying my eyes out but I can't for some reason. IDK of the Buspirone itself is doing this or if it was the combination with Keppra. I am having a hard time deciding if I should continue taking it or not. Hopefully the bad stuff stops after a couple weeks

So I had yet another appointment and I saw a doctor (forgot what he is called) who can prescribe meds. He was like "eeehhh" on the Keppra but I brought up Buspirone and he was very open to Buspirone and said it is commonly used with their patients. He said he would look up Keppra and lamotrigine relations to HPPD but he doesn't seem that open to those two. It could be a while before the decisions are made.

But the problem is that they need my mom's approval to put me on Buspirone and/or Keppra because she has sole custody of me. She can probably ruin everything and not allow the doc to prescribe me Keppra or Buspirone since she is very against meds. If I do get this stuff prescribed, I could lose my privilege to learn how to drive and possibly get my stuff taken away. She does not care if it is addictive or not she will either not allow me to get these meds or she might punish me for getting them prescribed

.

I have full HPPD and depersonalization......GIFT MY ASS

A drug specialist can't prescribe shit but they will understand and know what you're talking about and can refer you to a neurologist or psychologist who can prescribe meds. They are going to refer me to a neurologist and they are open to Keppra

You should see a drug specialist. You should find one that would know what HPPD is. My appointment was with an adolescent drug specialist and they all know about HPPD and stuff like that. An eye doctor probably won't help much since there likely isn't any physical damage to your eyes

I have an appointment sometime this weekend or next week and I am planning on bringing up Keppra, Lamotrigine and Buspirone. Since I want to get these meds prescribed, my mom decided that if I do get these meds prescribed, I won't be allowed to learn how to drive. How do these meds affect that ? Does it really affect ability to drive a car ? I believe that if i was able to ride a bike on keppra, I should be able to drive on it

Plus : I'm running out of time. Need a Keppra study and other shit to increase my chances of getting the prescriptions

No new meds. This just suddenly started

This is new though

I don't think I have any schizos in my gene pool but I try to get over those thoughts

Anyone else with dp/dr experience hostility or paranoia ? Every time somebody wants to meet with me, I end up thinking they want to beat me up and sometimes I even think my dad or other family member is going to hurt me. Also I have been getting angry and annoyed every time somebody messages me. Anybody else having this ?

I have kinda lost my sex drive but I can still look at a girl and be like "daaayum!"

Pain and pounding. The drug that probably caused this were diphenhydramine cuz I've been having chest pains ever since then