Lobotomizer

yeah if you read whats contained in the link you will see that the guy that runs the blogs says all "his peers" have hppd, but they indeed don't seem to let it bother them. This was back in 2011 and this guy obviously still uses exotic psychedelics because he always updating his blog with reviews of substances that he indulges in.

alice have you used lsd or mushrooms since hppd and have they worsened your symptoms?

Nahh 25c wasn't a "body high" it was definitely adrenaline esque. I havnt tried to many RCs and Im pretty careful with my use these days. I may enjoy mushrooms or cacti annually if im feeling up to it. I feel as though Ive been to the darkest place drugs can take me and now Ive adjusted to what has happened. Ever since HPPD s onset 18 years ago.....I had it decline in intensity and about four years later I did use a few mushrooms but low doses which seemed to help me cope with the mess....not seemed. THEY FIXED my anxiety. Mind you , that Im talking low doses. They never made my HPPD any worse. I used to belive that no matter the psychedelic they all effect the brain the same and if one type has side effects the other will potentially give the same side effects. I now strongly believe that natural tryptamines such as DMT and psilocybin have the least potential for long lasting side effects as opposed to LSD and phenethylamines. Although isn't ibogaine a tryptamine? I my have to reevaluate my thoughts on this because if so then I know of at least one person who suffered some pretty bad long lasting effects from it and that person is posts on these boards.

I stumbled upon an interesting blog recently. This blog is run by a gentleman who researches psychedelics of all kinds, from classics to more exotic flavors that have little to no history of human use. That's pretty brave, if not slightly reckless if you ask me. Anyway, this guys seems to do these drugs extremely frequently and then reviews them on his blog. He was asked recently by a reader if he has HPPD. Well heres a link to the page ; http://www.disregardeverythingisay.com/post/12440788302/so-you-have-hppd-but-its-just-a-thin-layer-of-visuals So what I conclude is that HPPD is in the nature of psychedelics. I feel that if you use them often you will inevitabley change your brain chemistry for better or for worse. Now the important thing here is that many of us who do experience HPPD grow anxious from it. When you couple anxiety with HPPD you will have all sorts of co-morbid issues. Just as I suspected , the depression, the DP/DR, head pressure, etc are extrememly common with anxiety related disorders such as PTSD. Soooo I do believe that with treating this issue its much more vital to attck the anxiety. If you can treat the anxiety , your HPPD will become something that you don't even notice anymore. I know thas a hard pill to swallow bc many "just want the visuals to stop!!!". Well my HPPD did not let up until I became anxiety free. Then I was able to clearly see how my visual phenomena was slowly getting better. Just some info I thought Id throw at you.

Shit let me expand on what I said....my bad trip is what caused full blown hppd....but I have had lingering after effects from every lsd trip Ive ever had.....its seems as though each time the lingering effects seemed to get gradually worse and for a longer duration so I don't know if I would have gotten HPPD if I never had a bad trip

Yeah I tried 25c-nbome recently and it was enjoyable but I smoked some cannabis with it and then I started have the most bizzare delusions like what you describe....I was terrified out of my mind......funny thing is it may have slightly increased my HPPD but no other ill effects form the bad trip. I really think cannabis related compounds are extremely dangerous for mental health

WHats 'BPC'? Short answer is no I I had a really bad trip/psychotic reaction/very high dose. I felt fine before that , although I did notice that I hd lingering after effects for several days to a week.....I think THAT is huge, huge warning sign to study. Because it seemed with every trip the lingering lasted longer and longer. I do think that it is possibly thr nature of these drugs to alter perception to a degree peranantly and EVERYONE is capable of experiencing HPPD. Because if you REALLLY cross examine any former LSD user you will get what you are looking for , YES most do have or have /had some form of hppd. HPPD to LSD is hangover is to alcohol....I belive.

Do you see the parallels of hppd / and spiritual crisis? Its a psychosis of sorts, according to western medicine standpoint. Its no longer fun or enlightening and exciting. Its when one has gone too far and wants off the rollercoaster but its picked up too much momentum. This same exact thing can happen with spiritual practices and I believe its downplayed in the scientific community. UNFORTUNATLY dogmatic religious institutions know alllll about this and use it to their advantage when arguing against the occult(which happens to be anything that does not fall into the juedeo-christian scheme of things). I don't know when it happened, Bigpapachakra, as I was "different" as a child. I was fascinated with esoteric subjects from as far back as I can remember(about three years of age). Ive always been overly creative and somewhat introverted just because I felt that no one really understood how I viewed reality. I feel that I may have always been closer to the "edge" and whether I would have practiced TM or yoga I would have had "breakthrough" or psychosis whatever you want to call it. Anyway, my use of psychedelics , I feel is what exacerbated my spiritual experiences along with HPPD. Im extrememy surprised that more people do not experience what you and I have. As you can see this thread isn't very popular. What Im saying is I don't know if I would have the same spiritual views and experiences without psychedelics, but Im inclined to believe I would have. My view on this HPPD is that you can accept it as a curse or a blessing (though so many on here would disagree with the latter that it makes me shudder thinking of what type of responses this will receive). I promise, once I accepted what had happened to me I began to enjoy my life again just as much as the next person, my vision began to clear up months after that (or maybe I simply didn't notice it). I believe this will happen for many if not all. But the hardest part is to find the strength and the courage to actually believe and VISUALIZE yourself healed. Its a type of submission that many bullheaded types cannot accept as they feel it will hinder their intellectual integrity. You have to ultimately believe and KNOW that you WILL be healthy again. but that's the paradox with all this spiritual mumbo jumbo aint it? "You must believe in order to experience" and is probably the most difficult t thing to accept for a scientific nuts and bolts type and I don't blame em. The thing is the HPPD community is not the only one that has experience with HPPD. I discuss this with others on other forums but the difference is that those who do not view this as a curse integrate it into their lives and are not filled with the anxt and depressive feelings. This seems to be the common trend here. Yeah its weird, it gets scary sometimes. But its no scarier for me to realize that we are lost in space on a rock hurtling through the cosmos seemingly by chance with zero purpose. One example is a a thread I stumbled upon months back. Unfortunatly I cannot find it , otherwise I would provide a link. In this thread several individuals discussed a positive increase in spacial memory and recall from use of psychedelics. They described a long lasting or permanent change in the ability to visualize. I found that I also have this increase in spacial memeory and visualization. Also my ability to visualize more abstract objects has been increased. Now many MAY feel that this is a handicap becauae they do not want the ability to "see things that arent there" but others, like me may find this to be a beneift. Do you think these indiviuals have a form of or a certain degree of HPPD? They claim that they are "seeing" these things in their minds eye. Just something to ruminate on.

Pariedolia is fairly normal. I can get it so extreme sometimes that a toilet will seem to have an "expression" or personality....same with cars, house etc. Any arrangement of objects in my field of vison can spontaneously take on a facial expression w/ a personality...usually goofy looking....for example if I got a fast food meal on a tray the hamburger could look like the mouth with the meat patties being the tongue sticking out and the other items on the tray appear to be other part of a face.....its really strange but I believe that to be an extreme

So if you do a quick google search you may find that HPPD like symptoms are not limited to those who have indulged in mind altering chemicals. The ones we should most notably look at with interest are those who claim to have these problems from natural mind altering practices such as meditation, yoga and lucid dreaming. Many people have had psychotic-like symptoms from meditation and other similar practices. Many of them claim that they experience symptoms EXACTLY like our HPPD symptoms. These HPPD-esque symptoms they experience after these spiritual practices may or may not exist co-morbidly with a psychotic-like episode. Sound familiar?? Its been a very long time since Ive researched this so I cant provide links but I distinctly remember finding support groups online for people with "kundalini awakening"; a phenomena that manifests in people practicing kundalini meditation. This support group that I found in many ways paralled the HPPD forum of the old days, a lonely little website in a dark corner of the web due to the obscurity of the disorder. There were many lost, hopeless and even suicidal people posting due to the lack of knowledge on the phenomena. As I said eerily parallel with HPPD. Anyway, a somewhat related question that I have to ask you guys here is if any of you have experienced any odd or unusual phenomena that may be difficult to explain by western scientific standards? One thing that happened to me around the onset of my HPPD is being unable to sleep on my back. To do so will cause sleep paralysis that inevidably causes an out of body experience one out of three times. Ive also experienced lucid dreams much more often. On top of all this I have had some prophetic dreams. I had a dream that my girlfriend got in a car accident only to awaken and have her call me no more than thirty minutes later and confirm my dream. The way she described it was eerily accurate to what I experienced in my dream. In my dream I was driving and hit something in the middle of the road and spun out. She described hitting a deer and spinning out off the road as well. The accuracy in my dream compared to the real life event was too high to deny it being worthy of an "unexplainable event". So, I just wanted to know of any of you have had I higher frequency of similar phenomena after your onset of HPPD. I know its difficult for some of you to come forward with some of these experiences out of fear of ridicule but hopefully you may take comfort in the fact that I don't doubt the possibility of anything after what Ive been through in the last decade.

I have a feeling I know who you are, your posts really helped me in the old days during the first years of my onset...if you are who I think you are you were one crazy MOFO....in a good way....quite the risk taker.... Cheers Lucid.

Puppeteer, I worte a very long introduction in the ....well introduction section. Please refer to that, as Ive had a very long road. But to aanswer your question, severe and it was from a high dose LSD experience gone bad. My DP/DR was horrifying. I was psychotic/delusional. and I couldn't sleep....literally drank myself to sleep every night. My delusions mainly consisted of paranoiac thoughts such as an irrational fear that LSD was in my food...even if it was canned or bottled...somehow I justified that it was POSSIBLE that someone in the cannery had accidently dumped a vial of LSD in MY particular can of beans or tuna or whatever. My flashbacks where so scary that I ran out in the middle of a busy intersection screaming bloody murder... Everything was constantly morphing and moving and my body felt like it would move and twist with it at times....tactile hallucinations I suppose is what you would call it. visually I had huge tracers and patterns on every surface. The worst was probably the intense feelings of being caught in an alternate dimension. Like everything I looked at lacked an emotion depth or connection that I used to associate with it. Miss Jess, I really feel for you. This wasn't ment to be a "big dick contest". Maybe yours is bigger (laugh a little, its a joke ) than mine ever was, but that doesn't mean that recovery isn't in your future. Please read into neuroscience and how they have found that practices such as meditation heal the mind and brain. This could be the beginning to solving these problems. The brain can regrow neural connections....you must continue to fight....I know this might sound redundant but may I ask Miss Jess, do you find joy in anything? When we PMed back and forth I found that you had a sense of humor Stick with that, laughter is very healthy. You should try and focus on whatever brings you any kind of joy and stick with that....like a seed you sow it will sprout into something bigger and better.

I had a friend who received disability, he had childhood trauma as well....began using ssris and then many powerful psychoactives. He developed schizophrenia but it also ran in his family. He got disability pretty quick. And then I know people who got disability from "depression" and they seemed very mentally sound. Here in the US its pretty easy to get. Just my two cents

Ive been there and trust and believe I know what its like to be stuck in an alternate reality after the effects of drug wore off. I was suicidal and self destructive with alcohol, but im better now....much better. Im 100% mentally better and visually...well theres a bit of snow and blacks leave some after images but nothing to complain about. I have a request from you. Tell me what it is about your visual phenomena that makes life so unbearable? Just make me a short list or explain your symptoms. But also think about this; if you were born with these symptoms would life still be so bad, or is it simply the memory of what your life was like prior to your onset? Its been long enough to where I cant remember how I would have answered this so I genuinely curious and also would like to help you guys if I can.

I think cannibinoids are a huge contributory group, just from anecdotal reports from friends. Its too bad the poll only allows three. I believe LSD had the most effect visually. mushrooms had little to no effect, in fact I feel they may have contributed to my recovery (but I cant recommend this)...Mescaline and phens had some effect as well but somewhere in between lsd and mushrooms. perhaps psilocin is more familiar to the brain/body because of its eerily similar structure to DMT, which as scinetific studies show is endogenous to the pineal gland. PS I have read reports from different people that mushrooms and compounds such as 4-aco-dmt have helped or improved others psychological states. Its worth researching.

Hey guys Id like to throw a bit of info your way. I know its tough and easier said than done, but I was browing some drug forums recently and found several people talking about how psychedleics improved their visualization and spatial memory. Now had they had a bad experience or unwanted cognitive change they would probably call it HPPD. But because they have a different outlook on these changes they view at as an improvement. We need to learn to accept what has happened.I believe strongly that psychedelics change your perception with every use whether you feel you have HPPD or not and how you handle it is dependant on your psychology. Initially I was horrified, but after awhile I was asking myself, why? Why does this scare me? Now I actually wonder weather or not I would accept a pill to reverse what these compounds have done for me. Its been a long hard journey but I don't remember what I was like before it. I don't know if I was a better person. Im not sure if my cognition would be "better" or if it would be just "different". We humans adapt to what we are dealt with and now that Im used to my mind and how it operates Im assuming reverting it back to how it was before could be yet another shock to the system. Who knows though. All I know is that I don't mind my current state of cognition and I utilize it to its fullest potential that its capable of. Im just trying to tell you that I did have suicidal and desperate time within the first few years of onset but it DOES get better. So hang tight!

Altering ones consciousness via strong psychoactives, be it pharmaceutical or recreational compounds seem to have the ability to cause long lasting neurological deviations/abnormalities. (obviously or we wouldn't have this forum) If memories are indeed the result of brain chemicals, then it shouldn't be much surprise at all that PTSD-like episodes may manifest. Now if hypnotherapy, positive reinforcement and meditation change brain chemistry and actually stimulate neuronal growth as studies suggest then there is hope to recover through these practices. I personally have recovered using these techniques and taking it one day at a time. Much in the same way as body building or psychoactive compounds, the aforementioned practices all work at different rates and to different degrees for different people so experiment just as you did with chemicals and be patient as theres no rush. I cannot use cannabis as it never quite felt right to me but I can enjoy recreational use of substances responsibly , if I so choose to. However, I cannot recommend anyone else use any powerful drugs as it may retard or halt your recovery. To answer OP, yes I had many triggers that indeed made me feel as if my HPPD worsened and I must definatly liken it to the fact that I was suffering from some sort of post psychedelic induced PTSD. I was borderline psychotic and believed my canned food was possibly laced with LSD. I was afraid to eat out in restaurants. I was afraid to consume anything from a source I was unable to monitor with a watchful eye and even then I would invent delusions that somehow there was LSD in my food. This slowly decreased in intensity and frequency over many years but had I thought that there was any likelihood of my food being tainted I would begin "tripping" again. Now, psychosomatic or not it feels very real and the brain has a funny way of manifesting memories with some amazing precision, hence why I believe it is of utmost importance to heal oneself emotionally or spiritually as a priority. Hell it fucking worked for me.

This is great advice and pretty much what happened with my HPPD. In fact JimmyB1, do you have any other symptoms besides the eye floaters and worms in regards to abnormal visual activity? Maybe the fact that both of these visual abnormalities occur in sober people with no prior drug use may be of some consulation . Perhaps its your anxiety/depression that's the real issue. Im not saying that your traumatic drug experiences aren't what caused you these long lasting problems, but anxiety itself is a disorder which causes one to over-react, thus worrying about things that may not even be related to the real problem. Its been 20 years since my bad trip as well and it took many years but I did accept and get over it. Once that happened I began to live life like I was never effected. I can feel joy and amusement and love again. The real hurdle, I believe is getting a handle on the anxiety. Did you know that recent scientific studies show that mediation can aid in the growth of grey matter in the brain? It also helps people overcome anxiety and depression, reduce heart rate, blood pressure and much more. Also may I propose to you that scientific evidence does point to the fact that alcohol abuse can cause brain damage which may result in a decreased rate or even interrupt your recovery. Its easy to forget that this crutch can be so detrimental to our mental health. Exercise and meditation, my friend.

Wow this "jdtic" pharmaceutical sounds very interesting. Its completely new to me. Im very curious about it and will do some personal research on it. Please let us know how that goes. In regards to suboxone I personally love the way opiods feel and enjoy the euphoria from time to time recreationally but I have witnessed some anxiety-prone individuals react differently; dysphoric, anxious, etc. Being that youre in a fragile state Id be weary of a powerful substance like that, not to mention it too is addictive and anecdotally very difficult to kick. I cant wrap my head around why suboxone would be prescribed, however Im no psychiatrist and this substance may offer effective treatment other than opiod withdrawal. Knowing what I know and what Ive been through I would ASSUME that GABAnergics (sp?) would offer the most relief. In fact if and when I use any powerful tryptamines/phenethylamines I keep them on hand to "abort" a trip if things aren't going as smoothly as planned. Also be careful with the suggestions I gave you in regards to Phenibut, I don't know the contraindications in regards to any drugs that your doc may start you on. Definitely give him/her the details of any substances that you have in your system. Phenibut lasts a very long time in your system.

This survey has so many holes in it and problems that I wouldn't want to be a part of it. Plus I have never seen a "professional" about my case. Thank you though

Thank you sir. Mine would be difficult to guage because now I only experience some visual snow. But for many years I had it pretty bad.

Mods- sorry I posted in the wrong forum. Move to where you feel is appropriate.

Ok it sounds like you are panicking so benzos would be urgent at this point. They will calm you down and it sounds like you need that. I have had great success with a natural product called "calm" Its a potent magnesium supplement and can be bought in health food stores. This is by far the best magnesium Ive used for anxiolytic effects. Heres a link http://www.iherb.com/Natural-Vitality-Natural-Calm-The-Anti-Stress-Drink-Original-Unflavored-16-oz-453-g/5121#p=1&oos=1&disc=0&lc=en-US&w=calm&rc=1078&sr=null&ic=1. If you cant get benzos prescribed theres a legal alternative called PHENIBUT that can also be bought in health food stores . It can take up to three hours to kick in and can last up to 24 hours. Also just as addictive as any other benzo so use WITH CAUTION. http://www.iherb.com/Primaforce-Phenibut-Unflavored-100-g/25373#p=1&oos=1&disc=0&lc=en-US&w=phenibut&rc=4&sr=null&ic=3 Suboxone ? That's a very nasty opiate Id be careful with that. The effects of the "high" it produces may also make you feel worse.