jimmyb1

Ok so next week I go to the doctor I have and explain what I think it all is and see what he thinks, if nothing good from that helps then I'll find another doctor and keep pushing for some help. The loss of all confidence over the years has made it difficult to get some help, even talking to a doctor is hard but I'll give it a go. cheers.

Thanks for the reply, I've had no official it's HPPD but I've sort of always know what it was, but I have never said to my doctor! I have come to terms with my visuals and things not being real and the floaters and sky worms as I call them, and I've only been to the doctors with my anxiety and depression. my doctor is old and probably has never heard of HPPD and just seems fruitless to tell him. They also seem not to want to give you anything pill wise any more because it does this or that and you may become an addict blah blah. Would love another doctor but sadly I'm stuck here with this guy so where do I go? Some diazepam would be nice, strong ones. As I 'd rather be addicted to something that works than live like this for another 20 years.

Hello all I've been a HPPD sufferer since may 15th 1992, yes I remember the date it started, here is my story. I turned 18 on october 1992 I got in with a small group smoking weed and drinking which progressed to other stuff mainly amphetamines, MDMA, poppers, LSD, and anything else I could get my hands on. This went on for six months or so until I had a bad acid trip in my mates house, I had taken it before but this stuff seemed so strong and I freaked out. I though nothing of it after, my so called friends took the piss out of me because of it and I just shrugged it of. I carried on using for another month or so but stayed away from acid until at a party I took it again, this trip was very strange thoughts of freaking out again ran through my mind and it was the worst 6 hours of my life. I woke up the next day feeling strange with a sense of nothing is real and that's when it started I then had a 3 month nightmare of acid flashbacks where I would feel like I was freaking out again, I could not sleep or relax at all and this lasted for about 3 months until it calmed down alot and I was left with. Eye floaters, sense of nothing is real, visual snow, Anxiety, depression and I still have them today 21 years later. It was 1992 i went to the doctors and they had no idea what was up with me at that time I even went for counselling but because I was not sticking a needle in my arm they seemed not to really care much, so I had zero support, my parents told me it was my own fault and to deal with it myself which I did by getting high again it seemed like my HPPD went away when I was high mostly on amphetamines and MDMA, cocaine and alcohol. I did this for another 8 years until I met my partner who saved me from that, sort of. So here I sit I am drug free and have been for 12 years I have 3 beautiful children, and a very supportive partner, but inside I am still a mess and an alcoholic, I think if I'd stopped using drugs in the early days I may have got rid of this all together, but sadly I didn't. The doctors are at a loss with me to be honest nothing works. anti depressants make me feel worse and the last thing I tried was a nightmare(pregabalin)made me feel like I was on E again. I just wanted to get this off my chest a bit and see if anyone can help me with suggestions for my doctor so he does not have to pick a random drug from his drug book to give me. Cheers all. Sorry if my grammar is crap.