andrewcb

Hah it is funny you speak of sleep paralysis because after my incident is when it first started happening to me. The very first time it happened it literally felt like a demon holding me down, like that was my exact thought. Apparently that is a ton of peoples feeling when it happens. I have experienced sleep paralysis up to 3 times in 1 night but every time after the first it just felt like I was going to die from suffocation. It really sucks when it happens and you and laying face down basically, it happened to me once and I thought it was the end of me lol thought I was doing to suffocate in the blankets. Mind you I am not a religious person at all, I am Agnostic and opened minded to just about everything but for whatever reason the first time it sure the hell felt like a demon holding me down or trying to enter my body lol. I agree with you about the perception of reality just being the only thing that has changed, I doubt any real changes have been made and this is how life has always looked to me but the mind change makes it real to me so I guess that is the only way I can perceive it. My biggest mistake was I kept smoking weed for a week straight afterwards(here comes the stupid part) even though it made everything 10x worse. I just kept smoking wanting it all to go away and was just trying to escape the reality I pulled myself into. Also I continued to take x for about 2 months after this and I was not your normal x user, I was taking 6-15 tabs at a time and doing it 3-4 times a week. So I continued that habit as well for 2 months + doing coke and smoking ice. I am sure if I just stopped everything the moment it all happened it wouldn't be as bad as it is now but I guess this is the price I have to pay for being a dumbass at the time. I think the only for it to go away is if you are able to realize nothing has changed but your state of mind and then you are able to cope with that and then this new reality just becomes your normal reality. Anyone can come to that conclusion but most can't accept it. Like to me, I know it has to be in my head but that doesn't change the fact that I still perceive life this way and I for whatever reason can't adapt.

"I experienced my very first panic attack about five years ago, and it was provoked by smoking marijuana. I had always smoked regularly with no real issues, until one day bam. I had been thinking too deeply about life and the human body while I was high, and all of the sudden (what I now know to be depersonalization or dr) came on rapidly. All of the sudden I had the thought that none of this is real, or better put, we are robots, and I felt like I was pulled back from my brain, sort of outside the body. Instantly I tried to get rid of this thought, only to my dismay, palpitations ensued, my vision became (in my own description) hyper aware, everything became vivid" This is me exactly. Everything you said up to this point describes what I am experiencing. Except for my night of terror I thought I was literally insane and would wake up or have to end up going to an insane asylum. I also view my dimensions weird if that makes sense. Like everything has a 3d look/feel but some objects look 2d like just plain flat. When it gets bad the best way I can describe it is as a pop-up book. But I am currently still going through the dp/dr vision crap and it has been 3 years. I always explain it as the vision you get on the come up of x or lsd where everything is just surreal and crispy as hell.

I ordered some yesterday so it will be here next week. Will definitely keep you informed.

I wouldn't really call those preworkouts but I guess they could be used as a preworkout. Preworkouts are more of your supplements you take before working out that give you a rush and supply your body with energy. But even energy drinks for me are bad. Anything stimulating like preworkouts or energy drinks makes my dp/dr worse.

Let me start with a few of these and tell you what I have been experiencing these past few weeks. First I would like to say I have experienced everything you mentioned and most of it to the extreme. Now..... I haven't been able to learn new things, it is very hard for me to grasp the concept of things now, I just feel like I am unteachable. I can't put thought into words and that is if I am even lucky to have thoughts. Someone could literally be talking to me and I would hear nothing they would be saying, nothing would register. I am constantly losing shit, drives me nuts. Now anyways, I have been taking Piracetam for almost 3 weeks now at 4.8 grams 3x daily and can say without a doubt that it is helping with memory. I am by no means perfect but it is getting manageable. I honestly can't wait to see how this works after 3 months of continuous use. Also I am the guy who for whatever reason bumps into walls every time I turn a corner, have shaky hands(noticeable shaky hands), and no coordination. I am sure the few products I am currently taking right now are helping me somewhat with these problems but for the past few weeks at work I have been playing ping pong a hour or so a day with another employee. At first we both sucked but me more. Couldn't hit the ball when it was hit towards me, couldn't keep my eye on it, had zero reaction and was just plain horrible at it. Now after a few weeks I must say we have gotten pretty good at it. I can hit it harder than when I started, make some amazing plays that are just out of reaction, can predict where he is going to hit before he even hits and all that good stuff. I am not sure if this is connected or what but my coordination has seem to gotten a lot better since starting ping-pong. Maybe find something that involves coordination of both hands and eyes but also the rest of your body and practice it until you get better at it. That coordination you gain at whatever it is you're doing ping-pong or whatever may stick with you on other obstacles weather it is walking or picking something up. Also you get the sense that you are on another planet far far away from people, I live on a different planet(reality) then the people around me do, completely fucking strange when you have dp/dr and for whatever reason this is my train of thought and also my visual perception. Last thing I got is the social anxiety or depression part of it, where you don't feel like talking to anyone. I totally relate to this, I don't talk to anyone really unless it is a requirement such as paying for gas or talking with people at work. I do catch myself talking to strangers if approached but prefer not to. For me honestly every stranger is a new experience and I can never master that experience since it is a new stranger each time but the people I see multiple times a week I force myself to try to talk to them even if it is short and sweet and over time you get use to them and feel more confident and then conversation flows more freely. Trust me, I have a speech impediment because I can't form thoughts or put them into words plus the anxiety doesn't help but after you put yourself in that position a few times you get use to it and don't let the anxiety bother you so much. I guess that really covers the anxiety part of it, if you aren't talking to people because you are depressed that is pretty tough. Really you have to work on your depression first imo compared to anxiety you just got to get use to the situation. Maybe do something that perks you up before going into a social environment like you said you enjoy working out and it makes you feel good, maybe work out and then get social. Well that is all I got, time for bed lol Andrew

In my experience, avoid preworkouts at all cost. Also you are most likely experiencing a natural high, release of endorphins and all that good stuff. Keep it up!

Jay, So far my experience seems to be the same as yours. Today was my second day using at 500mcg 2x per day. I haven't noticed anything honestly and it seems to be making my dp/dr a tad worse but it isn't horrible. How does it increase your dp/dr? For me it is more of a visual perception thing I am dealing with. For example everything is just super crystal clear/crisp and highly detailed, this in return makes me feel things just don't seem real. I guess the best way to put it is my vision looks constantly like it does on the come up of x, lsd or shrooms where everything is just BAM if that makes any sense lol. The Selank seems to have intensified that. I can imagine most people would probably love to see life the way I do because to them it would be more beautiful to me it is just more dreamy. I do differ from you on the speech though, it has seem to slightly improve my speech but only when I am not put on the spot. Has done nothing for anxiety really. I plan on ordering Semax when it comes in stock in 60 mg vials, that shit needs to hurry already and I plan on ordering some afobazole tomorrow. So far what has been helping me the most is Piracetam, Aniracetam and Tianeptine. Hopefully will get a good stack going for meh!

Painting, Yeah it is a real recent discovery, I doubt there is much activity though. Also I wanted to thank you! I am fixing to order some Afo myself, been busy trying other supplements but plan on ordering tomorrow. On another forum(a forum unrelated to HPPD or anything) we are discussing nootropics and the sort and 2 people on there have started using Afo and Tianeptine since. They used the Tianeptine first and have just more recently been using Afo but so far it seems they both like it. One guy says it gets better and better everyday. I believe he is 6 days in and 1 pill 3x a day I believe.

My Selank came in the other day but I am still waiting on Amazon to ship the damn nasal spray bottle. Fucking holding me up because they can't ship it for whatever reason. Where can I purchase some needles for the subq injections? Got any cheap resources that are close to America?

I know someone who has just started taking afobazole after I told him that someone from here recommended it and he says he feels pretty good after the 3rd day. He started off at 10mg 2x a day but tried 10mg 3x yesterday and said it made him foggy. I think that is a pretty common side effect until you get use to it. Supposedly it takes 4 weeks for peak effects so I am going to say a few days to a month until you actually feel anything. Hope this helps if Void doesn't make it back for whatever reason.

I will lyk how mine works out when it comes in. I'm wondering if you got some bad stuff or what. I don't understand how it can differ so much from person to person. You would think if all these people say they feel something from it anyone else would too. I understand some people may benefit from it and some won't but you are like the 4th person I have heard of who said they get nothing from it. If I don't feel anything from mine I am going to assume it is crap and people are greatly subjected to the placebo effect. We will see!

I ordered everything mentioned above minus the Semax because the 60mg wont be in until next week. Ship out Monday here Wednesday hopefully. How is the Selank going for you jay?

Haha might have to quit drinking! I'm ordering Semax and Selank tonight so it will ship Monday and hopefully be here Wednesday. I am also going to order Aniracetam and some more Tianeptine. I didn't have really any luck with Tianeptine just now which was my first time trying it but I am going to give it another shot from another source. Hopefully I get some positive results with these. My next go will be peptide bioregulators hopefully within the next 2 months. They are freaking expensive for a cycle and it could just be money that you are throwing down the drain. But we will see.

What do you think about SEMAX one?

Also when you use the nasal spray how do you do it? I would think the best way would be to just squirt it in your nose and do a very very small sniff. Nothing hard like if you were doing coke. When I use to snort my subs or whatever pill it was I was snorting(lol), it always worked better if I barely just got it in my nose as compared to sniffing it hard and having half of it go down my throat.

Ah man, more dp/dr? I was hoping to actually get relief from this! haha. But really if I can control my anxiety that would really help my dp/dr too. Also I am almost certain I got anhedonia from years of opiate abuse and was hoping this could help me out with that like they claim. You got yours fast! Hopefully mine is in on Monday. Let me know if you see any improvement in sleep too. This is another thing I am battling. Even if I get 8 hours of sleep(which I dont) it feels like I just closed my eyes. Hopefully you see some real improvement soon. Have you seen this site http://rupharma.com/products/selank ? I believe it is based somewhere out of Europe judging by their currency. What makes me think the site is real quality is " SHIPPED WITH THERMOS COLD GEL PACK™ FOR PRODUCT QUALITY PROTECTION" Selank needs to be kept cold and if it isn't it can be destroyed pretty easy. Was yours shipped properly?

Yes that is what I read. Also have read a ton of other reviews about it. It is made by a company that also made a substance called SEMAX. The owner of ceretropics.com LOVES SEMAX. He likes it in comparison to Selank but he also says SEMAX is more stimulating and he likes stimulants while Selank is more for getting calm. Did you order yours from ceretropic? Hope so because he sells 10mg for 25 bucks or something like that and it is real easy to make your own spray bottle vs buying a premade bottle which has 5mg for twice the price. I am going to be ordering mine tonight!

Can't really say if you are at risk or not now but you will most definitely be at risk if you continue using. That goes for all drugs including weed!

Welcome to the other side. I can definitely relate with dream like hallucinations at night and I could use to even cause them to happen. I don't experience them anymore though. What do you mean by aftershock? Do you feel like a zap? What kind of shock are you speaking about exactly? You will know if you got dp/dr. You don't feel real and won't recognize yourself......can be real dream like. Physical objects don't seem real, your whole life around you just seems fake and you will really question your sanity and will wonder all kinds of crazy things like if you are the only person alive and everyone around you is some kind of artificial intelligence. Also you might feel like life is just a dream and it even looks dreamy. Definitely gives you a different perspective on reality. You being emotionally distant has more to do with either some kind of anxiety or depression......or both. Anyways, HOPEFULLY you have already QUIT ALL DRUGS! I think that is the problem with most of us here, once we started to get symptoms we still continued to use. Maybe if you can stop and catch it quick enough it won't be embedded in your head so much.

I am going to be ordering some stuff this week and Selank is one I am kind of excited about. For the people who know about(if any) I have a question. The most effective method of dosing is subq injections and then intranasal is second best. I honestly don't want to buy insulin needles because they are expensive and not knowing if I am going to benefit from Selank this is an expense I want to avoid. So I came up with an idea I know must might not agree with. Ok so the recommended dose of Selank is around 250mcg via subq injections, what if I was to make the Selank solution with borsetic water I am guessing to a ration of 1mg per ml. Then when it is time to use the Selank I draw .25 ml to equal 250mcg and mix it with an equal amount(or somewhere along those lines) of DMSO. Mix it in a glass vial and use a glass dropper to place it on the skin. I am not sure if Selank would remain stable in a DMSO solution so I want to avoid mixing it all with the DMSO and just do it per dose. It would be nice if I could just mix it with the DMSO though in a glass vial and then would just have to place a few drops on the skin each day. Any thoughts on this? I guess worse case scenario is it doesn't work and I make a simple intranasal solution but would have to up the dose to 500 mcg - 750 mcg I assume. Andrew

I got Tianeptine off of Ebay and have been using for 2 and a half days basically now. I bought from the vendor who sells in powder form. I lost my 3ml syringe so really I have been just trying to eyeball the amount but I can say with certainty I have been taking about 30 mg dosages if not higher. I can't say I have felt much but also I have been EXTREMELY tired these past few days. I am going to finish this gram I have and then try to order it from a actually nootropic website to compare. I plan on making a solution of Tianeptine and just some distilled water and mixing it in a 30 ml container to where I have to just draw out 12.5mg and use it sublingually. I also want to try it with something like grapefruit juice because it is metabolized through the same enzymes that grapefruit juice inhibits. But as of now, I got nothing positive or negative to say about it right now. Also you mention you use it in hopes of neurogenesis. Have you ever thought about using it with melatonin? Buspar and melatonin are suppose to create neurogenesis which is why I would I mention melatonin. Or maybe even Buspar and Tianeptine? Not sure which it would be, hell why not just all 3! lol.

Amy, Professional therapists/counselors/psychiatrist are great for people who have depression or anxiety because of some underlying issues. Maybe they were abused as a child, was in a car accident, are self conscious etc. etc. This is where a therapist or whatever will come in handy, they can help you fight the root of the problem, something no medication can do. And yes most people will eventually beat their anxiety/depression with the help of a therapist. Now you got this other group of people, this is where I fall in and a lot of others do too, where you have a chemical imbalance. Either messed up Gaba levels, Serotonin levels, Dopamine levels, Norepinephrine levels, Glutamate levels etc.etc. There is no amount of counseling that will fix these imbalances. I do agree counseling and getting support can help with this group of people but more than likely medication is needed. I go to this program called supportive outpatient program or SOP and it is basically just counseling. They give a ton of good advice on how to deal with anxiety and depression but they also agree there is only so much counseling can do for some people. If someone has extremely low neurotransmitter levels all counseling can do is really help you deal with it but not get rid of it. Basically what I am trying to say is if you are depressed and are thinking about killing yourself they can help with keeping you off the rope but for most with a chemical imbalance they can't ever help you be truly happy. So yeah, they can help but only so much, just help you live day by day really and who wants that? But for people with some underlying issue, counseling is the ONLY way to fix that.....Medication will just cover it up.

Jagermeister, Ag this forum is dead so sorry nobody has responded. As far as nootropics go you can order them easily only. I use Newstartnootropics.com but there are other sites. As for keppra, I am not sure, your best bet would be a Canadian pharmacy website. I would find one you like and do some research on it and see what other people who have used them say. Here is the best I can do for you.......... http://www.yelp.com/topic/san-francisco-has-anyone-purchased-prescription-rx-from-canadadrugs-com https://www.canadadrugs.com/products/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&keyword=keppra&commit=Search Hope this helps, Andrew

Missjess, The only thing I can think of that has possibly made your symptoms worse is your anxiety to thinking being around the meth has made it worse. I mean if you weren't directly inhaling it or if it wasn't blown all in your face and you were taking huge whiffs of it, it wouldn't do anything. I would say this is directly anxiety related. But we all know anxiety makes symptoms worse and it can either last a day or a month, no telling. My advice is learn your lesson and don't put yourself in that position again. Drop your friends who do drugs is all I can say. Do you want to get better or not? That is the bottom line. Thank you, Andrew

I am going to order me some here soon off of ebay now! I wonder since they officially discovered that it works on the opioid receptors if it will be classified as a opioid? I mean technically it is. If so I wonder if they will soon put it under the same regulations as Tramadol where you need a prescription but it isn't illegal to have(at least in my state). Like you can easily get a prescription for Tramadol online and they will mail it to you but it is pretty expensive. Might want to stack up on the Tianeptine just incase. I also suffer dp/dr and am in a constant state of derealization and the depersonalization will hit me more like a attack but I haven't had one in awhile *cross fingers*. Do you get any relief with the tianeptine? And what about the Afobazole? Really it is odd, for me opioids really help my derealization. I was hooked on oxycontin and esp hydrocodone for a few years because it gave me relief. I still had my derealization but I never paid any attention to it while on opioids. I guess the good mood I was in all the time just took my mind off of it. This is why I am wondering if Tianeptine will be the magic bullet for me. What do you think?