WuWei

Well, in terms of Vedic theory the chakras and awakening Kundalini channels deals with the subtle body.  HPPD deals with the brain and neurology (ie the physical body).  It's like having a heart attack and thinking your heart chakra opened.  Just my $0.02.

Too much sleep is as bad as too little sleep for me.  I find about 9 hours (I need to sleep a little more than most people naturally, and a little more with HPPD) is about right for me.  Getting good sleep those hours is another issue.  I got about 3 hours of real sleep last night I think... despite my best efforts

This Lexapro withdrawal is destroying my life.

I have very strange dreams as my HPPD changes.  A lot of the time I'm just confused in them and they make no sense. I had one last night that could have been an award winning science fiction novel.

Ugh... hope an adjust in my meds will negate some of this shit.  It's hard to take.

Hope everyone is feeling better than I am tonight...

I lived for 3 years at a meditation center... message me if you want any info.

Anyone one experience this kind of stuff?:

Objects appear to be something else for a half a second and the brain reinterprets what it actually is (the most common example for me is seeing lightposts and trash cans out of my peripheral vision and thinking they're people standing there for a moment)?

Hearing sounds and misinterpreting where they are coming from for a brief moment?

Parts of the visual field jumping out more than others and attracting attention?

Bits of skyline through trees or shadows in between buildings appearing to be solid objects like walls for a brief moment?

Olfactory hallucinations like smelling smoke or food when it's another smell (again only briefly)?

Can't think of too many more examples without it getting in the realm of no making any sense.  I've been getting a lot more of this kind of stuff lately while I've been trying to get off of the Lexapro- some days like today it's pretty much constant.  It's the most distressing thing I've ever been through in my life.  Obviously I'm not schizophrenic because I know they aren't real and I can see that after a moment.  It's almost more like symptoms of dementia- at 34 years old. 

I can take the visual symptoms but this shit is intolerable.  It's ruining my life.  Can anyone relate?

Yeah coming off it (Lexapro) sucks is an understatement.  I've been on it 15 years... been tapering my dose down now since fall and still am unable to go off of it fully and maintain.

You take your chances with hallucinogens or any mind altering substances... good for you for weighing the pros and cons.  I would say, as previously stated, make sure you take as many safety precautions as you can and get some clean LSD from someone you trust.  I think your chances of developing HPPD are slim with a few acid experiences if you don't have a family history of it.  I am absolutely not condoning it though- for the record.

You may want to consider why you want to do LSD in the first place and consider trying to find those things naturally, like Jay said.  I personally never found any type of insight or personal growth from doing hallucinogens.  I think life provides those things to us when we're ready for them. 

If I could go back I wouldn't do any drugs whatsoever.  Absolutely.  Think about it every day of my life.

@ Jay-   I hear you man... well said.  At least you got to have the experience of getting married.  I feel like that might never be a possibility for me the worse I get.  Keeping the faith though...

Well no weird dreams last night- slept great. 

I think I had been taking it for a couple weeks when I started noticing the correlation between dreams and theanine. 

Theanine seems pretty benign...

I stopped taking it for a while after having some weird dreams on it.  It did help me get deep relaxing sleep before that.  I actually took a small dose earlier after accidentally getting too much caffeine from some tea I had.  It also counteracts caffeine overdose...

Here's to hoping there's no more weird dreams!  I'd like to be able to take some from time to time.  Studies suggest it's good for your brain in general.  The Japanese have been putting it in their soft drinks and snacks for years.

Thanks-

Yeah had my first Tai Chi class today.  Pretty cool.  I'll keep you guys update on any progress or lack thereof with it.

So I'm trying to go the holistic approach... it was either Yoga or Tai Chi. I chose Tai Chi as I'm a martial artist (a bad, undisciplined one) and it appealed to me more.  So I got in contact with a guy who does the internal martial arts and I'm starting training under him.  I'm also considering doing a traditional Chinese medicine appointment to start me out right.

Anyone have any experience with this stuff?

On her youtube. 

Hopefully she looks...

I'm the one that posted the video.  If you'd like to chat I've had it for over 12 years.  I've been on Klonopin since before that.  I've experienced a lot of what you're talking about.

I think it overstimulates the visual cortex which might have something to do with the temporary elimination of visual symptoms.

You should be fine.  I get ahold of a few painkillers a year and never have a problem.  Sometimes I feel weird the next day which can cause anxiety.

Anyone been doing this regularly?  Any long term benefits? I've been doing it after getting up and before bed.  Makes me feel better at least.  The effects are really noticable in the morning.

Wow I forgot what "clean" vision looked like.  Amazing!  And a little heartbreaking

Man I can't stop doing this.  I'm so used to movement in my vision that objects look "frozen"... like they're on pause.  So freaking cool.  Kind of creepy too.

Man I want my life back!

Anxiety medication caused your HPPD?  This is the first I heard of this... please explain.

I think you probably need to find something else to provide you with happiness other than drug use.  Your entire hypothesis hinges on that idea.  Not trying to judge you- just wanted to point that out.  Getting f-ed up is a bad foundation to build your life on.  Trust me I know.

I can't remember exactly.  I remember the effexor helped a little but I changed for some reason.  I think the next one was celexa.  I remember it was shit getting off effexor even pre-hppd.  I'm tapering off the Lexapro still.  I'm on a super tiny dose every other day now.  Next week will be every 2 days and then off.

Honestly I don't really know what's going to happen.  I'm OK at home for the most part but I'm not dealing with work very well.  I don't really have a choice but to get off of it so I guess I'll just have to wait and see.  I think I'm going to try and get an appointment with my GP tomorrow for a scrip of zoloft to try just in case I get any more depressed.  I have no idea if it will work though.

Thanks for asking though

Sorry to hear about your troubles

You should definitely complete your course unless you have other symptoms or it's unbearable.  Stick it out and try a different one next time.  I think the infection might be more to blame for your increased symptoms than the antibiotic but I might be wrong.  You should see all the old ladies we get in t work that have UTI's and are completely nuts.  Eventually they clear up and are WAY better afterwards.  You have to remember us HPPDers are hyper-sensitive to everything.  Take some klonopin- anxiety makes everything worse. 

Looks like winter is finally going to be over here in MI after Tuesday (40+ temps and rising).  This is the worst winter I've had in my life.

Way ahead of you Odysseus!

I've taken paxil, wellbutrin, effexor, prozac, pamelor, cylert, celexa, and lexapro

I'd consider neurontin (I know it's not an antidepressant), zoloft and the new one vybrid if things got too bad. 

I doubled up on the lexapro today and feel quite a bit better.  Might do that for a couple of days to ease the withdrawal.  All in all my blood levels are still falling so it's ok I think.  I actually planned on being on 5 mgs all winter but it was too much.  Hopefully the time change will help with a little more light added to my day.  This winter has been the most brutal one I can remember... I also have SAD.  A light box helps.  Hopefully getting out and playing some disc golf and getting a gym membership shortly will help too.  Ready for this winter purgatory to be over...

Well... my worst fears in regards to this crap have been realized.  My Lexapro stopped working.  How I came to this is a long story but basically I got switched to a generic equivalent and started having paradoxical reactions to it.  Like weird side effects.... amping up my HPPD and DP/DR symptoms.  I switched back to the name brand and started feeling better immediately despite the fact I was paying $160 a month for my meds. 

Then that started giving me the same issues.  8/

I began weaning off of it a couple of months ago.  It has been a mix of feeling better not having the effects of taking the meds and having withdrawal symptoms so it's been a constant balancing act.  Basically I went from 10mg a day for like 10 years to 7.5 mgs a day for like 5.  Then 5 was too much... now I'm taking 2.5 mgs a day and feeling pretty horrible the last few days or so.  At first I was doing so much better I thought all my issues were solved... at least enough to get my shit together to go back to school and possibly do the family thing, but shit is getting pretty grim now.  I think my brain and the blood levels are catching up with me.

My worst fear is that I won't be able to deal and have to quit my job.  I feel pretty depressed now... intensity varies by the day but I'm having some pretty bad issues perceptually and mood wise.  The only thing that's gotten better is my cognition. 

Anyone else been through this?  I think my brain is wired for this stuff and now it's hitting the fan.  I pray to god I don't have to go back into the fray and try and find something that works.  It took almost 10 years to find one that worked last time and stabilize on it.  Any feedback would be appreciated, even if it's just a "keep your head up" type comment.  I'm pretty freaked out.

Thanks.