Kellen

Ive read some positive things about sinemet and immediate is good. It seems no matter what I do there will be some bad effect. If not now in the future. But I need some of my life back. Can't just wait it out.

I'll give it a try if not then lamictal. If that fails then it's benzo time :/

Doc wrote me 3 scripts

One for sinemet

One for lamictal

One for colanzepam

Going to trial sinemet first. Kinda worried about the heart palpitations being a side effect as keppra did that to me. I will report as I go.

It's not really the anxiety that gets me. It's the visual snow, cognitive issues,dp/dr, intrusive images and thoughts. The anxiety I can handle. I haven't slept without immovane for years and years now. When I don't take it my mind won't shut off. It just goes into hyperspace and my visuals increase and so does my tinnitus. Immmovane helps me eventually fall asleep for awhile. I'm going to see my doc today and try sinement first but I'm also going to ask for kpins just incase.

So even if the anxiety returns while on a low dose of kpins the cognitive issues stay in check? That sounds good to me.

I'm happy with the ending. Everyone got what they deserved. Still went out on a grim note but it could have been a lot darker which I'm glad it wasn't.

There's going to be a Saul goodman spin off who was one of my favourite characters.

Ya I might cave and dl it. I've already hidden a few posts on FB that contained the words breaking bad. Hope it wasn't a let down like dexter. Although I never watched that show my buddy described how it ended and it sounded like a total slap in the face to the fans.

I have faith that breaking bad won't disappoint

Wow that's really good! Haven't watched it yet as I've had a headache all day. I don't want to go on Facebook incase someone ruins it for me haha. But ya great sketch!

Sorry to hear man. But hope it atleast answers some questions for you. Sending good wishes your way.

So it's a short term solution that will eventually really fuck you up. Seems like a cruel joke.

I'm having a hard time right now and I couldn't imagine my symptoms being worse than this.

Chris did you go through withdrawal?

What dose were you on?

What I don't get is why do so many people want to come off it when it's working for them?

I was also thinking of trying flunarazine but the side effects look awful.

I guess with hppd you're damned if you do damned if you don't. I'm just scared of making things worse for myself.

Against my better judgement I'm thinking of trying the benzo route. I need some relief and I have to go back to work soon. So I'm in desperate need to find something that works. I can't risk taking more time off or I'll get canned.

So I'm looking for a definitive answer ( if there ever was such a thing), does the bad out weigh the good with taking benzos? Does the relief they bring trump the side effects?

If yes what is the best to take?

How do they effect visuals?

Ive just read so many conflicting statements on here.

I really want to avoid becoming addicted. I've had enough of that in my life. Is that even possible?

Sure this Sunday is the last episode but it's never to late to talk a little BB.

This show has been somewhat of an obsession.

Any predictions for how it will end?

Hey folks

Does anyone else experience a really low tolerance to drugs? I notice I have a reaction minutes after taking something. Even at a low dose.

For example the keppra I was on. I took one 250mg and it hit me hard. Alleviated most of my symptoms within minutes of taking it. Unfortunately it didn't work out for me as it has exasperated my digestive issues , gave me irregular heartbeats and made my hppd symptoms unbearable by day 3. However I've noticed this to be true for any medication. Some people have to take meds for days and weeks before noticing a change. Where as with me my body processes it rapidly. I took a 20mg dose of Prozac before bed and the next day I was fried. Like I was seriously tripping. I know 20mg is really low but why does it hit me so hard?

I know people tolerate medication differently. I just seem to be really sensitive to any chemical change.

Anyone else feel the same?

Also I know the last few times I've posted on here I've been a total bummer. I am feeling better now and I'll try to keep this a positive place. Just when your in the throws of it, ya know, it can seem hopeless. But i am feeling somewhat better so I gotta be thankful for that.

Am curious if he took the 50mg of keppra in the morning. Or what his regiment was.

Survey come back with an update!

Hey violet welcome to the forums

I can relate pretty much100%. You're experience is eerily similar to mine.

I can't shit either. I've recently started taking plant enzymes which seem to help. I take two every time I eat. Im bloated and feel like a mess too. Like my body is shutting down. I barely eat, work out and still its like I'm gunna pop.

Have really bad dp and dr too.

Shrooms are what opened the flood gates for me. Stay away from weed and booze as I'm sure you know.

Sounds like you've been through the ringer with this but know you're not alone.

St j wort did nothing for me. Nac, b12, and omega 3s keep me going. I notice a difference if I forget my daily cocktail.

Hope this helps in some way

Just a few days ago I had my visuals greatly reduced from keppra. Now its back to the ol' hppd vision.

In my mind I can't recall what it looked like when I was taking the keppra. Even though it was only a few days ago.

i think when your vision is a comprised it's difficult for your brain to process it being another way. I know my vision wasn't always like this but I can't picture what it looked like before. It's feels like my visions has been this way forever.

And yes the majority of people here have issues with memory. Me included.

You're not alone

*Just read disguyhere's reply and ya totally agree with him. Is not just your vision. It's how you actually perceive the world. I get times where the hppd is really popping off and my body feels either larger or smaller depending on my surroundings. Its WEIRD. But I'm still here and I forced myself to go out tonight and the night before to see friends and some bands. felt awkward at times but I did enjoy it over all. Glad I made myself go.

Family doc can prescribe it it think but I got mine from my psychologist

I'm back in the shitter tho. I was feeling good for a couple days. Decided to have some beers with my buddy. Major mistake. My hppd burst through whatever the keppra was doing. My guts are all messed up. Bought some probiotics and enzymes today. Feel totally out of it. Why the hell I'd I sabotage This? I was feeling normal. Good even. Confident. Now I'm back in the static and dpdr really bad. So typical of me To fuck it up.

God damn it

Just waking up. Visuals are greatly reduced. I'm thinking clearer. Took my second dose. Feel like I can go out and enjoy the day. All my symptoms feel totally manageable. This is awesome.

Took 250mg a couple hours ago. Right after I took it I noticed a difference. Had a bath to try and relax.. Experienced some anxiety but it went away and when it Did my visuals improved. I can't explain it. I don't know how but after one dose I feel better. My thinking is clearer, my visuals are improved. I picked up my cat and really felt how soft he is. I feel like a warm blanket has been placed over all the insane shit that's been going on in my head. If it stays like this I will say that keppra is a miracle drug. But it's sill too early to tell obviously. considering how bad I was doing this is much needed relief.

Wish me luck and ill keep everyone posted on my progress.

is there a big difference between name and generic keppra? im getting generic

Just got a script for keppra. I'm currently taking NAC. Should I quit it before I start my trial? Also are keppra and prozac okay to mix? My doc says I should give Prozac another try.

Any advice is much appreciated!

Maybe heather from beat happening has hppd?

Read a book but the words flew by

I got something in my eye

Can't remember what it said

Can't keep things inside my head

I don't know, what's that say?

Nobody taught me, will you teach me today?

What's that say? I can't see

I don't know why but there's something I need

Want to talk about the things you know

My head sees like TV snow

'cause I got something in my eye

I can't talk, I'm too shy

Teach me the letters of the world

I need words to be heard

Make the sun melt away the haze

Clear the fog from my gaze

Hey wooshka welcome to the forum

Quitting weed was a good idea. Many people on here can't smoke because of the negative effects that it has on them.

From the sound of it you will be able to bounce back from this. Just stay away from any drugs.

Most people ignore the symptoms at first and continue to use and until one day their symptoms can't be ignored.

All the best

Kellen

Trust me people: you can be happy with HPPD!! When I see so many depressed wealthy individuals in my homeland germany that have everything and then go back to Brazil where a majority of people have so little I realize how our view of the world is uniquely determined by our own brains. How shitty my life might get, stay optimistic and positive because 1. about a billion people are starving and you're are not 2. this life is all you got. 

This really bothers me.

Okay millions of people are starving ill just snap out of it. You're right.

I've never lost sight of what I should be thankful for but comparing my mental anguish to the problems of the world is total bs. Sure in retrospect my problems are minuscule on a global scale. Sure other people have worse lives than me. I am we'll aware of that but you put anyone, I mean any fucking one in my shoes with the shit I'm going through and they will crumble.

The life I got now is not the life I want. And I had a good thing going but it's lost now. And I'm praying I can get some of it back. So really save all that comparison stuff for yourself.

I've had instances where if i lie down for bed and my brain doesnt want to shut down or is trying to sleep, i will hear voices/sound that i heard earlier in that day. But they sound as if they are right beside me. 

 

I've also noticed that when i close my eyes and move arms around, i feel like i can see my arms as CEV.

I dont think its like 'depersonalization' but i just see my arms movement through my closed eyes. Kind of amazing. 

I can do it in pitch black rooms so its not just the shadow casted by lights. 

I have both of these symptoms. The voices thing tho can also be images which have real emotion attached to them. Like there is a projector showing me random things. This happens while I am awake too through out the day And I get "ear worms" where songs or parts of songs, or voices just repeat in my head. They come out of nowhere. It's all very vivid.

This can't be cured with cbt it seems too embedded in my brain. I can't shut it off. Mixed with the hppd and dp/dr I'm seriously living in a nightmare right now. I was always scared mylife would end up like this but I'm pretty mentally ill now. My gf left me and I can't even cry. I start for like a second but then I just feel numb. And my mind wanders off. I have zero concentration and I have no idea how to live. How do people get up everyday and find a purpose? And laugh and be happy. Fucking crackheads aren't as messed up as me. I'm so detached I just want to scream but I don't have the energy anymore. My life is utter garbage. I can't get caught up in the why me bullshit. I just can't do this for much longer.

Bed time is the best time for me but that's because of the immovane.

Most the time I feel like I'm on acid. And lately I've been getting this sensation like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff or a tall building. I can feel it from my toes and It works its way up. The feeling I'm going to fall

Or something. It horrendous.

Went to see kick ass 2 with my old man and I almost had to walk out. Huge movie screens and fast images really really fuck with my head. I've already ruled out 3d IMAX but might just rule out movies all together.

I would gladly trade places with a leper at this point