must-be-a-way-to-heal

i dont know, maybe im just going thru a down phase at present..

tho, likley all these drugs arnt so good for my body anyway.

ok here is the news..

Currntly on 1000mgs Keppra am and 1000mgs pm with

1) 250/25 Sinemet am and 1) 250/25 Sinemet pm with also

5mgs Valium in the evening

Have been on this amount for quite some time now....

Basicly im not notecing any diffrence in visuals

The only diffrence is the drugs are nocking me out / making me sleep

thats basicly the only relief im getting

Unfortunatley

Where to from here,,,, im honestley not sure

maybe see if i can get in touch with Dr Abriham.

all good, should not have asked

ok thanks .. wonder what that may be, will do a google search on it .

thanks, yes im well aware of this, i have a feeling it would semi, take over my life due to its strength.. so may have to avoid that one.

In Africa they would just say "your a Shaman" lol

Hey everyone, hope you are all good,

thanks for putting up with me and excuse me for "bitching" in my last few posts.. was just having a challenging time. All good now..

Where im at with medicines..

Currnently on Keppra 1000mgs am and 1000mgs pm with half a 5mg tab of Valium in the evening

also just started as in now, Sinamet 250/25 one tab morning and one tab evening.

Hopefully i will notice some changes with this .. fingers crossed.

Today i asked my Doc about addiotional medicines i.e.

Flunarizine

Namenda / Mematine

Suboxone / naltrexone

and Klonopin

We are going to discuss this next monday.. and try possible combinations.

Any imput greatly appreciated

Many Thanks

ok cool great post.. im corrently on Keppra 1000mgs AM and 1000mgs PM

Im not notecing big changes yet,

I would like to add Flunarizine tho i dont think it is availabe in Australia are you aware of any other way of getting a hold of it? Thanks

Hey Yes absoloutley... Thanks Jay, i do appreciate that. I really do understand what your saying and can totally relate to what your saying also. I am sorry to hear that is your experience at times.

I feel as though i am a "master " in the phyisical domain.. ie conncting with others, confidence, all other aspects of life etc

I agree 100%... just jump right in there, once one achieves and enjoys, it gives testimony that you can and you will..

Thanks Jay, i appreciate it

ok cool, thanks very much.. will do for sure, and i will mention that to my doc on monday, and give eithre one a try.

It may just be visual, tho that is a majour sense and critical for all round development in my opinion. Sometimes im in a much better mental state than other times and things seen to be going well, then at other times it is just too much and cannot seem to focus. Will there ever be a cure / treatment for HPPD?. Thats the way it is i suppose, everyone has there own issue ./ challenges to work through.. and there is no point giving up as i did in some areas of life due to HPPD and that got me no where. I just thaught i was not eligable because of HPPD... tho i will not make that mistake again, tho it is painful being "caught" between the worlds.

Do you feel, speaking / shareing symptoms makes it worse, like one is reinforceing there problem. Because of this.. at one point i avoided all contact with this web site for over 3 years / was in denail and never spoke about HPPD once tho that did not make a differance.

Anyhow... i will keep on keeping on, sorry to ramble on... again feel isolated as have no one to chat to about it... Really appreciate it, thanks Visual

ok ok.. appoligys for the negativity... any ideas where to go from here please?

This is seriousley the most fucked up "disorder" out there, it is the bane of my existance..

who knows mybe it is still too early?

Hey mate,

Yes im doing okay,

Currently on 1000mgs am 750mgs pm

I also take half a 5 mg tab of Valium .. very little in the evening...

To be honest, i am not notecing much differance at all with visuals... things still seem pretty the much same unfortunatley, only with side affects of Keppra.

I am doing my best to re train my brain with meditation etc

sometimes i just dont hear.. people have to repeat things because im in Hppd realm lol,,, tho .. i have worked alot on my speech and especially body language, as it counts for at least 90 % of communication,, also i have worked alot on voice qualitys, i.e. tones etc. I find this to be helpful, because body leads mind and mind leads body to some extent, so it is a good way to change ones state at will.. at times im sure i do stumble with words / speaking every so often

yes, for sure... was mixing it with wine / champagne etc.. Agreed absolutely, have learnt my lesson , thanks

fucking deeply depressed day or so after.. like severe, emotional release / just reflecting on my journey,, actually felt like ending my life... and was contempating.. I would never do this tho, i love my family too much, know how much it would hurt them... Its ok.. im not usually like that.. it is the adjustment to the medicine, possibly because i also had some benzos as well / alchol and other contrubuting factors i.e. connection with "friends" who i have not seen for many years.. in which this initially all began.. triggering many emotions and feelings.

I must say.. this Keppra seems to be doing something .... tho at the same time, it is turning me into a bit of a "space monkey" LOL Obviousley it is strong... tho if anything has a chance of possibly creating "a new pathway" other than my "HPPD pathway" well the it needs to be "strong"...

Past few weeks have been challenging adjusting / adapting.. while my body is adapting... tho, i will keep on keeping on ... gradually raising dose etc I suspect it will become easier with time and as i become more aware of how it is affecting me and learn to "master" my state .... cheers.. thanks

sure.. as i have discoverd.. dont mix with alchol...

thanks.. i agree it is the meds... anyhow.. ill "keep on, keeping on" cheers

this keppra is nocking me around a bit tho i am notecing some diffrences on various levels

this week started on 750mgs am 500 mgs pm

Does this suff make u emotional or what,, had a Big emotional release this morning.. on crisis chat line lol at times i do feel isolated..

I just feel fucked up that may of the people i used to use with are now dead due to overdose etc.. while others have made recovery which is so awesome to see.

Tho i feel as though im kinda half way and have to walk with the wounds each day.. it just feels disheartening that i have to take more drugs now to get over a proplem created by drugs in the first place.. and feel lsolated because none of my friends know i have it, and just say.. wow .. dude, u took way too much acid at such a young age , tho have litteraly no comprehension of the trauma / suffering i have endured.

As mentioned earlier.. i kinda feel drowsy.. to it seems at times it is not making the visuls as noticable which is a good sign, kind of like a subtle blocking from awareness at times... its bizzare.. i have recently had thaughts of harming myself, due to the fact that i find it sad.. and at times i just feel as tho no one gives a fuck or even understands,.. whats the point etc etc... tho i suspect the Keppra is making me temporerily feel this way...

Anyhow... time will tell.. keep you all posted.. and once i get thu this shit i will have the madest Pheoneix tat of all time covering half my body symbolic if my success.

">Many tattoos are cool, amazing, awesome… simply outstanding and sexy lol... Love and respect to one and all... especially on some “special friends” of mine Tho I do have a special affinity for my full body tribal initiation / scarification. Received at age 17 years – they are a force to be reckoned with ill shre my story soon hehe

This info comes from Yogic systems of informtion : hope someone may find it useful

Ways to Develop Memory and Concentration

Bygone are the days of ‘Susruta’. Now almost all the people are suffering from Memory problems. The ratio might be different between different people. Brain cells don’t produce other brain cells and thus their death means permanent loss.

So many reasons like digestive disorders, physical weakness, typhoid, continuous stress, any of the chronic diseases, by-birth mental defects and less than normal quantity of blood cause brain cell death. Absentmindedness, difficulty to memorize the lessons, forgetting to do the scheduled things, not recognizing the known persons are some of the symptoms of this disease. Though the brain cells cannot be produced they can be revived in certain manner.

Drink a glass of bit juice every day; you can use it as salad either.

Bite a sweet apple before meal daily to sharpen your memory.

Eat the watermelon seeds with watermelon fruits.

Use of pepper in food is beneficial to solve memory problem.

Boil half a liter of milk with 4-5 leaves of Peepal (Sacred Fig tree). Filter the milk and drink it with some sugar candy mixed in it daily for some days.

Take 25 gram of cream butter (Makkhan), mix some peeper and jiggery and lick it well.

Regular use of ripe pumpkins as curry and daily use of honey serve to strengthen your brain power.

Having mixed salad and regular fruit eating habit prevents memory loss.

Create a habit of eating two walnuts every day; it is the panacea to increase memory power. But better soak it in water 3-4 hours prior to eating in hot seasons.

Continuous use of cashews, peanuts etc work wonder in the field of increasing memory.

The fluid intake should be sufficient. Insufficient fluid in the body causes memory loss.

Cultivate the faculty of imagination. Whatever you want to remember try to visualize it which will help to remember and you will enjoy it too.

Mental stress causes memory loss. So it should be avoided as far as possible and removed. The best way to remove stress and increase memory and concentration is meditation. Practice meditation for 10-15 minutes every day.

Do some exercise daily so that the lazy body will not affect the mind and you will feel fresh.

Practice some eye exercises on a daily basis. Specially turning the eyeballs right and left is the most, after 10-12 times close eyes and do palming.

Performing pranayamas like Anulom Vilom, Bhramari and asanas like Ardha Shirshaasan, Shirshasan and Sarvangasan are effective to improve memory and concentration.

Ways to Develop Memory and Concentration

Bygone are the days of ‘Susruta’. Now almost all the people are suffering from Memory problems. The ratio might be different between different people. Brain cells don’t produce other brain cells and thus their death means permanent loss.

So many reasons like digestive disorders, physical weakness, typhoid, continuous stress, any of the chronic diseases, by-birth mental defects and less than normal quantity of blood cause brain cell death. Absentmindedness, difficulty to memorize the lessons, forgetting to do the scheduled things, not recognizing the known persons are some of the symptoms of this disease. Though the brain cells cannot be produced they can be revived in certain manner.

Drink a glass of bit juice every day; you can use it as salad either.

Bite a sweet apple before meal daily to sharpen your memory.

Eat the watermelon seeds with watermelon fruits.

Use of pepper in food is beneficial to solve memory problem.

Boil half a liter of milk with 4-5 leaves of Peepal (Sacred Fig tree). Filter the milk and drink it with some sugar candy mixed in it daily for some days.

Take 25 gram of cream butter (Makkhan), mix some peeper and jiggery and lick it well.

Regular use of ripe pumpkins as curry and daily use of honey serve to strengthen your brain power.

Having mixed salad and regular fruit eating habit prevents memory loss.

Create a habit of eating two walnuts every day; it is the panacea to increase memory power. But better soak it in water 3-4 hours prior to eating in hot seasons.

Continuous use of cashews, peanuts etc work wonder in the field of increasing memory.

The fluid intake should be sufficient. Insufficient fluid in the body causes memory loss.

Cultivate the faculty of imagination. Whatever you want to remember try to visualize it which will help to remember and you will enjoy it too.

Mental stress causes memory loss. So it should be avoided as far as possible and removed. The best way to remove stress and increase memory and concentration is meditation. Practice meditation for 10-15 minutes every day.

Do some exercise daily so that the lazy body will not affect the mind and you will feel fresh.

Practice some eye exercises on a daily basis. Specially turning the eyeballs right and left is the most, after 10-12 times close eyes and do palming.

Performing pranayamas like Anulom Vilom, Bhramari and asanas like Ardha Shirshaasan, Shirshasan and Sarvangasan are effective to improve memory and concentration.

thanks so much Zukov.. really hope it starts to improve more also

Hey Rozzer, yes i do also suffer from light sensitivity, especially frm walking into a bright blace into a dim lower lit place and especially in the dark.

No i have not noticed any changes there yet. Tho this is the catch 22. It is like... if i am always trying to notice improvements, im actually putting more attention on it. Like .. what i resist / will persist. So i am doing by best to give up the fight / let it be. It is almost like.. when im trying to notice, the attention immeditley goes back there if that mkes sense... so at this satge, just really doing my best to carry on with life and not be so concerned / focussed on it, an even intentianally focus on other things.

Possibly it will be helpful with light sensitivity... for me it may be too early to tell at this stage..

Thanks for the support .. i will continue to make updates

absoloutley.. will do, i just posted an update on the topic "just started Keppra today" tho ill copy and paste it here now so i can share

Hey Everyone...

Ok my experiences thus far are intresting...

Im currently on 500mgs am and 250mgs pm of Keppra

I cant explain how this drug is affecting me... tho in some bizzare way it seems to be blocking things "visuals" out to some extent. I am notecing some sublte diffrences.

I have had one or two break through experiences momenterially where i have been visual free and could see clearly. I was loooking at myself in the mirror.. i was amazed.. i looked so beautiful lol and everything was clear.. could not describe my joy lol

In the mornings, i usually wake up to full blowen HPPD first thing... then after taking the 500mgs of keppra in the morning it does seem to be taking the edge off the visuals somewhat or possibly dulling them.. and in some way, it is helping me not to notice them "the visuals" so much, it is kind of like it is blocking them out.. or subtly blocking them from awarness in some way.. i have no idea how the drug has the ability to do this.

I have to say.. i am still a long way off, tho i have certainly beeen notecing some subtle diffrences thus far.. which is awesome, so i am quite pleased about that...

I will stick to the plan and keep increasing my dose by 250mgs per week..

Cheers

Hey Everyone...

Ok my experiences thus far are intresting...

Im currently on 500mgs am and 250mgs pm of Keppra

I cant explain how this drug is affecting me... tho in some bizzare way it seems to be blocking things "visuals" out to some extent. I am notecing some sublte diffrences.

I have had one or two break through experiences momenterially where i have been visual free and could see clearly. I was loooking at myself in the mirror.. i was amazed.. i looked so beautiful lol and everything was clear.. could not describe my joy lol

In the mornings, i usually wake up to full blowen HPPD first thing... then after taking the 500mgs of keppra in the morning it does seem to be taking the edge off the visuals somewhat.. and in some way it is helping me not to notice them so much, it is kind of like it is blocking them out.. in some way.. i have no idea how the drug has the ability to do this.

I have to say.. i am still a long way off, tho i have certainly beeen notecing some subtle diffrences thus far.. which is awesome, so i am quite pleased about that...

I will stick to the plan and keep increasing my dose by 250mgs per week..

Cheers everyone