Gmo

Fuck ketamine.....I did that shit twice.....first was super chill, I just took it easy, smoked blunts, and watched Sin City.......second time I was trying to K-hole and snorted a shit ton and was just royally fucked up for the rest of the night. My vision was like sloshin back and forth in my head and I couldn't really talk and I could barely walk......that might possibly be the most physically gone I've ever been. Guess I just can't handle certain drugs......

Mine initially got worse and worse for like 3 or 4 months and then I started to see improvement. I feel like the mental side of things started easing up well before the visual side. These days I'm feeling pretty good mentally, aside from the depersonalization, and my visuals have gotten better but they're still pretty irritating.

Yea I was thinkin downers would be the best choice.....there just not very rave appropriate. But I suppose it's better than being sober the whole time.

So I'm going to a festival in like a month from now and I was curious as to what exactly doesnt negatively affect your vision. I'm not gonna roll and I was thinking about ritalin maybe, but it is a stim so it might make it worse. I was also thinkin of maybe some type of oxy if I could find it. Xanax also crossed my mind but I was never really a huge fan of xanax so idk. Any suggestions??? I really don't wanna be sober the whole time.

I mean I would never do either one......I just didn't wanna offend anyone that might of tried it by bashin on it. To each their own you know??? Besides, the way I see it looking down on someone for trying heroin or meth is the same thing as people that don't do drugs looking down on us for doing psychedelics, so it'd be a bit hypocritical. We can't really condemn people for using drugs when we've used drugs ourselves.

Yea I don't really think drugs are a false reality.......I was never using them to escape reality or anything, they're just a good time you know.

Even though I've experienced quite a bit of hell cause of my past drug usage, I often find myself missing the experiences I had. I feel like when I decided to call it quits with drugs I had really just gotten into my "experimenting" phase. My list isn't even that long, I was basically just interested in psyches.....I wasn't messin with heroine or smokin ice or anything like that(not that there's anything wrong with those drugs) and it still caught up with me. I really wish I would of gotten to trip off some mescaline and done DMT a few more times than I did before this all happened. What a shame. So much I still wanted to see.....

That's a shame. Maybe it does have a lot to do with a genetic predisposition to this whole ordeal.

@alice-acid.....and your trips were all spread out over like 2 years right??? That sucks, it doesn't seem like you were over using or anything. Did you have a bad trip??

same, infact i too tripped exactly 8 times o.O

tbf tho it was more than 10 months, it was like 2 years, but still not exactly a lifetime

what symptoms do you experience??

@piper83.......yea I've definitely noticed improvement it's just so gradual I don't really notice it unless I consciously think and compare the way I feel now to how I felt 6 months ago. I've got a lot less social anxiety and just feel more motivated to do stuff overall, I just still don't feel comfortable around a whole bunch of people.

@2muchmandy.....I'm 21 I'm a Junior at University right now so my school work keeps me somewhat busy, which is a good thing I suppose.

I know how you feel. I still get invited to parties and stuff from time to time but it's just not the same having to be sober all the time and stuff. For the past 5 or 6 months all I do is sit around and do homework and mess on the computer.....one positive thing though I've gotten back into guitar and gotten a lot better than I used to be. I kinda lost interest in learning new stuff after getting real into drugs.....it was just a hassle to sit around watching videos on theory and stuff but since I've got mroe alone time I've gotten back into it.

I do still get laid though.....which is good.....I just never party or anything anymore. In all honesty though I'm not crazy about huge groups of people.

DMT???? Yea I feel like a couple DMT trips I had influenced my HPPD quite a bit. I had never experienced the static in my vision and all the floaters until after DMT. What did you experience exactly after your DMT experience??

What'd you get your symptoms from??

I beg to differ. I've rolled a few times since I developed HPPD, 2 of those times my HPPD was much worse afterwards and once it wasn't affected. The times that made it worse I was taking speed based pills and the time it was left unaffected I was taking near pure MDMA.

Honestly even after all this I could see myself rollin again......I've taken MDMA after all this happened and actually had a good time. The time I took a speed based pill my visuals were WAAAAAAY worse and I wish I hadn't done it.......but when I got my hands on the powder MDMA, the purer stuff, I really enjoyed it and it actually killed the anxiety and liften my spirits for a few weeks after. Idk, like I said earlier I feel like I have a much more wholesome idea of drugs and I feel like I could limit myself enough to contain my visuals. But, if this does happen it wouldn't be anytime soon. At least a good year from now.

Yea I hear you.

Nope. Maybe when im 40 ill start burnin again depending on whats goin on in my life at that moment, and if i ever get terminal cancer or somethin then ill definitely go nuts on the morphine but thats about it. Serotogenic/Dopaminergic/Both drugs are CERTAIN to make this hellish disorder come back, at least for me. Even alcohol has done it for many. Ill definitely drink again, but never to the point of being wasted. Im gotten used to the idea of a sober life with the occasional benzo thrown in.

I can't do it man.......I only really spent a 1 1/2 years of my life involved in substance use, but I miss it. I was COMPLETELY sober until about half way through my freshmen year of college, and then over freshmen and sophomore year is when all my experimentation occurred. I feel like after going through all this I have a more wholesome view of drugs and I could partake again and limit myself properly and treat my body well enough to be safe. But, this shit has definitely gotta go away before I'll do anything again.

Just curious. I'm sure most of you wouldn't but I'd like to be able to roll at shows again one day and maybe smoke every now and again. Weed and MDMA didn't really cause my HPPD and I'd prolly never mess with any psychedelics again.

Cheers Gmo!

Problem is I'll be coming up on three years on HPPD this year, and to still feel like its getting worse?

Im going to try and cope, but this new "tripping" feeling is far from pleasant!

oh......yea that is a while. I thought you just got it a few months ago or something.

I think you'll be fine.....initially my symptoms all worsened for a couple months even after I was basically free of drug use then I started to recover. Just like you, I would also lose certain symptoms and gain new ones as time went by. After like 6 months of feeling weird I developed this weird twitch/jerk where random parts of my body would just spasm for no reason.......I felt like a super druggie, but luckily it wasn't that noticeable but I could tell it was happening. Anyhow, after a few months of that it started to fade and doesn't happen very often anymore. Just hang in there.

Fucking outstanding........That's the thing with psyche's, when they're good they're great and when they're bad they're terrible......

@Boogres....how often were you tripping before you got your HPPD??? And I enjoyed salvia, I only did it 3 times but I liked it. I think salvia's really hit and miss with people, I did it with like 3 other friends and 2 of us liked it and the other 2 hated it. I also hated ketamine though and a lot of people really enjoy it. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

Yeah man, alot of people who seem fine who do alot of drugs, actually do get many visual distortions...i guess they kinda get used to it, or arent very bothered by them, but MANY people i know who trip have trippy visuals. I never woulda guessed before i asked em. Then again, some ARE perfectly fine. Luck of the draw. Certainly im the only one with DP and body pains and fatigue etc, but residual visuals are more common than you think. Ive had three friends whove done x (and not that much) ask me whether my mind sometimes goes blank, that it's somethin thats been happenin to them. 2 people dont smoke much anymore because shrooms completely changed their highs. So yeah it varies.

My only warning pre hppd was jaw clicks and pains when i ate, but i wouldve never correlated the 2. I guess i was feelin a little manic in my shroom days, but i loved it, so i didnt really consider it a symptom. I thought it was just me becoming more positive or somethin.

I know a kid from back home who actually tried shrooms once and never came down. He hasnt appeared socially since he tripped with 2 kids i know around 2010. My friend ran into him at church once and he went up twice for communion because he forgot hed already had it, and had to be reminded of who my friend was, even though theyd hung out many times and been close.

Damn thats pretty intense....just after one trip too. I feel bad for people that experience things like that after just one trip. I'm lucky enough to of experience my fair share of substances beforehand. But yea, I have friends that use drugs way more than me and they're perfectly fine.....at least as far as I can tell.

Did you have a bad trip Boogres??? I had tripped like 7 or 8 times and rolled plenty before I experienced any negative effects from drugs, I figured I had had enough experiences to label myself as one of those that could pretty well handle altered states of mind.....all up until I had a couple crazy bad trips.

I only took melatonin once and the next morning it felt like I was tripping for like 3 hours it was really strange, I haven't touched it since. I took valerian for anxiety though, not to sleep. It really helped calm me down and better apt to handle social situations when I had to work over the summer. I built up a tolerance to the stuff eventually and quit taking it. But it was pretty effective for a couple months for me.