Gmo

This shit is starting to get me down too. I'm approaching 2 years with DP/DR and I never thought I would be one of those to have it this long. In the beginning I figured I'd be relatively back to normal in a year at the most. It's just depressing seeing all my friends around me going out and being social and living good productive lives while I'm doing the complete opposite. I could deal with the HPPD, if only this awful DP would go away. 

Yea, I figured it'd prolly be sketch. I can't really go to a doctor though. I mean I could, but I know that if I did my parents would find out, and I really don't wanna be bothered with them thinking their son's gone crazy from taking drugs or something. Especially my mom. She lets the tiniest things worry her to death. I'd rather just avoid that situation at all costs.

All of you guys that have been taking keppra, where exactly did you get it??? Did you all get it prescribed?? I was thinking of trying to order it online from one of those sites that'll send it to you without a prescription. Something like this: http://www.buykeppra.com/ or this: https://www.northwestpharmacy.com/productsearch.aspx?mid=08e16fe571864c3bb1f55bfe6159be6f&s=levetiracetam&drugid=71144 does anyone have any experience with things like this??

did you have Dp all the time or did you just always get it in bouts??

How long did you have HPPD for Rene??? Was it 3 years or something like that??? Would you also say that you're mental problems have gone too?? Also, which of the issues, physical or mental, went away first??

Ok, interesting. Also, LSD is an agonist right??? So, wouldn't all these issues we experience possibly be a result of either down regulation or prolonged excitation of these particular receptors?? And I know I'm really over simplifying all of this, but I'm just trying to get a basic understanding of what might be going on.

do you still have DP????

Could one of you guys tell me what exactly causes the change in vision while you're on the drugs??? I mean what parts of the brain do LSD, Shrooms, and MDMA affect that cause things to look different???

^^^^So that's a supplement right???? Something I could get online??

My anxiety is connected to the trip that gave me HPPD. I always feel like one second away from total madness. I have that underlying feeling that I at any time will be thrown back to the trip that gave me HPPD. It's often worst in the evening.

I try to cope with it by taking deep breaths and repeat to myself that i won't be thrown back to the horrible trip. Talking to a good friend is also a good thing.

How many trips did you have before you had the trip that gave you HPPD??? Do you think it had to do with how bad your trip was that lead to your issues or was it just one trip too many or something like that???

I've gotta get rid of it. Like right now I feel fine. No anxiety, and very minimal weird body sensations. I can only notice it now if I make a conscious effort too, but later when I go to the library to study, I know it's gonna shoot up and I'm gonna feel all weird and tense. Have you guys found anything that lessens it at all??? I used to take Valerian Root caps when it was near persistent back in the day, and that helped, but I built up a tolerance to them so I quit taking them.

and what is it like for you??? I mean what does your anxiety actually feel like??? Or does it not feel like anything at all?? Whenever I'm in a social situation I'd rather not be in or really just whenever I'm around people I don't know too well I get this really weird anxious pressure feeling throughout my body. It's moslty at the base of my head and also in my jaw area. I really don't know how to describe it other than just saying it's a really tense anxious feeling. I hate it. This and depersonalization are driving me crazy. This feeling used to be pretty persistent when I first got HPPD, but now it's gotten to the point where it only comes up when I'm in a weird social situation or I didn't get enough sleep the previous night, so it's good that it's gotten better but it still doesn't seem to of gone away. I'd really like to get rid of it at some point. Does anyone else have anything similar???

Have you already got glasses with the prisms? If so, do you feel any improvement?

No. I'm going to get some in about a month though. Last December I had my yearly eye exam and I told my doctor about the double vision problems and she told me that she couldn't detect any issues with my eyes and recommended that I just wait to see if my problem fixes itself over time. Since it hasn't I'm gonna bring it up at my appointment in about a month and get the prism glasses then.

Good video man, I can't smoke weed anymore either:( I really miss it, but every time I do it it's like I'm on a mid-level acid trip. I haven't smoked in about a year and I'm hoping maybe one day my weed high will go back to normal.

I think my HPPD is a result of two bad trips I had back to back. I really feel like the extremem negativity of the experiences had something to do with how long lasting my HPPD has been. I feel like if I had tripped the same number of times in all and never had a bad trip then my HPPD would have been much less severe. Aside from the HPPD I think the DP/DR that I have is 100% a result of how negative my trips were. They left with a lof of weird anxiety that I think led to the DP.

Extreme cognitive difficulty...stuttering, mixing up words, forgetting things you should know (which song is what, who is who, names etc)...pains on my body...like my muscles are weak, i work out and it takes a week for it to not hurts, except it hurts alot more intensely than it ever did...muscles twitches....

Something that really bothers me is fatigue, like my brain never enters into deep sleep, i have really vivid dreams paradoxically and im always tired, no energy whatsoever.

I don't have cognitive issues as much as I used to. I still stutter, mix up words, and mumble a lot though. I think mumbling is my biggest talking issue......people are always asking me to repeat myself but in my head it sounds like I'm talking loud enough. I also have muscle twitches and random jerks and stuff sometimes like you mentioned. My biggest issue with DP though is the being disconnected from my body......it's fucking terrible, like I'm still on acid or something.

I'm black.........but I don't think any particular race is more susceptible to HPPD than any other. I think it has more to do with the fact that caucasians tend to be more interested in trying psychedelics than blacks or other races.

That's really weird. I watched your videos like a year ago, there aren't many vids on youtube about HPPD. But, I'm in the library right now and can't watch your vid but I was wondering what drugs you got HPPD from and if you ever had any Depersonalization along with it???

Thanks a lot for your information.

I will probably go to the eye docter next week, and I will go ask contacts with prism's if that's possible!

No, they can only do the prism thing with glasses.

I wear contacts right now, not glasses. I've always had bad vision and I've worn contacts since I was 11, that's why part of me feels like the double vision thing might of happened whether or not I did drugs since my vision was always pretty bad. But, at my last eye doctor's appointment my doctor told me that there didn't appear to be anything wrong with my eyes physically so she was reluctant to give me the prism lenses. She just told me if the problem persists by our next visit then she would look into getting me the glasses. I'm supposed to go for a check up in December and I plan on asking for the prism lenses then. From the way she described it, they're just normal looking glasses with little things in the corner, so thankfully I won't look stupid with large over-sized weird glasses.

But yea, it sounds like we have the same thing, which is a relief cause pretty much no one else I've talked to on these forums experiences double vision.

^^^^^It's not unfortunate, in my opinion, that nothing was found. I'd much rather not have brain damage. But, I can't say for certain whether or not drugs did it or if it's something that would of happened either way. The double vision for me didn't start until a good 6 months after the initial onset of HPPD, and at that point I had pretty much stopped using drugs. So it kinda came out of nowhere. I think drugs probably had something to do with it, but I can't say for sure. Also, does your vision correct itself if you close one eye??? My double vision disappears whenever I close one eye so I'm thinking it's some sort of convergence issue between the two eyes. It could definitely be HPPD related, but people often get it without HPPD too. Here's a link to the wiki page about it, you should check it out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diplopia

is to not stop doing things in life waiting for hppd to clear up because you may end up waiting forever.

That's deep shit man.......I feel like I've been doing that for the past year and a half. I just keep telling myself one of these days this is gonna go away and I'm gonna go back to livin the way I used to. Sad way to live.

But yea, the best thing you can do for yourself is to ignore it and move. It's easier said than done though.

Are you sure you're cross eyed???? Or do you just feel like you're cross eyed because of the way things look??? Also, you said that there was no brain/eye damage found, so did you get some sort of brain scan or something??? I'm just curious because I have double vision too and was wondering what might possibly be causing it.

Does your vision ever look like this http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=A2KJkPpQ5HZQPEUApz2JzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBlMTQ4cGxyBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1n?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Ddouble%2Bvision%26fr%3Dyfp-t-701%26fr2%3Dpiv-web%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D17&w=300&h=250&imgurl=www.medindia.net%2Fpatients%2Fpatientinfo%2Fimages%2FDouble-Vision1.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.medindia.net%2Fpatients%2Fpatientinfo%2FDouble-Vision.htm&size=17.6+KB&name=Double+Vision-+Abstract%2C+Types%2C+Causes%2C+Symptoms%2C+Diagnosis%2C+Treatment+...&p=double+vision&oid=6ad61591b99932d97c45afbf83cbeafb&fr2=piv-web&fr=yfp-t-701&tt=Double%2BVision-%2BAbstract%252C%2BTypes%252C%2BCauses%252C%2BSymptoms%252C%2BDiagnosis%252C%2BTreatment%2B...&b=0∋=96&no=17&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=11ujuulku&sigb=1372p2fcs&sigi=11vkhs4o3&.crumb=qzgHNDOOSYx

My eye doctor told me that if I have double vision then I can get a pair of glasses and she'll put prisms in the lenses and that'll force my vision to realign itself over time. So you could look into that. Just search prism glasses or prism lenses or something on the internet.

just be careful when you play with fire. .....Real question is why do you want to alter your reality? The answer often is you don't like your reality.

I don't really agree with that......I hear people say stuff like that all the time. Stuff like drug users are trying to escape reality or they're trying to mask some deep seeded internal issues or something like that.....and that might be the case for some people, but I think a lot of people(including myself) just think it's fun to get messed up. I just really liked going to shows and taking drugs, I wasn't trying to escape reality or anything like that or cope with childhood trauma or something, I just liked the feeling. I don't mean any disrespect or anything, I'm just saying.

^^^^ Do you still use drugs??? Like recreationally??? I know this isn't related to the thread, I'm just curious. I really miss drugs:(......the last few shows I've been to I was stone cold sober.