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Should I bother?


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Hi everyone,

I'm a long-term hppd'er I guess you could say... been almost 20 years now. MDMA + weed was the culprit. For the most part the visuals are about 90% gone, from what I remember normal vision appearing like anyhow.  I was only 19 when it happened. BFEP still exists, I don't think that part will ever go away unfortunately. Some fairly mild visual snow and trailing.

I can live happily at this point but it's the haunting feeling like something is missing, as if I'm in not really in the world or my mind for that matter.  Separated from reality. Hard to explain, but I imagine it falls under the De-Realization category.

I'm considering taking some meds but afraid it could make the condition worse... as we all know there are serious fears that the baseline could drop and stay there.  The only thing I've tried is Keppra and it was pretty hard to function.  Only took it twice.

I know there are some experienced members on here when it comes to pharmaceuticals, can you offer any advice?  Obviously no guarantees but are there any safe meds that have little to no risk of permanently worsening the symptoms?  Probably want to avoid anything that hits the serotonergic system... 

Any input from those of you with knowledge or experience on the topic would be much appreciated.

 

Cheers,

Brad.

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