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HPPD and Sex change M/F


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For around a year I took either LSD or Shrooms once a month. My last dose of LSD was last May. It was scary (painful) enough to quit. I had enough robot monkey glitch time. There was benefits like I was able to grasp my paranoia, trauma, psychoses and sociopathy. This was amazing for me but it appears like I've made a sacrifice. My first HPPD incident was a month after my last LSD trip. I was already getting flashbacks and general shifts of perceptions in the aftermath of the dose and long term experiments. But the first uncomfortable incident was after I took a bong rip, then I squatted. I got light headed due to oxygen deprivation and thought I was just on a really big cannabis high. I was wrong because I lifted up too intense and it felt I had just taken a dose of LSD and the peak was ramping. I had the feeling of my brain skipping and being blocked from functioning like I'd dosed really intensely and my legs wouldn't stop spasming until the "Peak" ended and my vision "Paned". It was like this for approx 40 min and my legs still spasmed in little bursts after a few hours. I fell asleep after that and for weeks I had that aftermath feeling again. I had another episode a  week ago only I've been sober off tobacco and cannabis for about 3 months ish. I stopped the cannabis right after the first incident but it took a bit longer for the tobacco, so there was no instance of oxygen deprivation. It was the same thing only weaker. The spasms happened again though less violently and it past in around 20-30 mins. I've figured I have HDDP, fine but I've had goals in mind. The first incident was triggered by excessive drug use and the second was because I stayed up for two days playing a video game and you're suppose to have decent rest, I wasn't doing that. So health is on it's way I now know to get rest with diet and exercise, plus education.

Another thing I'm interested in is changing my gender M/F. One might not think that this relates to HPPD but in fact it may directly be related. LSD changes the 5-HT2A https://americanaddictioncenters.org/lsd-abuse/what-does-lsd-do-to-your-brain  receptors and that's where the mood altering affects come from. What pumps that receptor is Estragon  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7632610/ 

 

This comparison scares me because I really want to transition M/F with Hormone Therapy (No bottom surgery I keep the peen) but how I'm figuring this out is it may trigger more frequent HDDP episodes. Does anyone know if I'm right or wrong or is this more of ask the doctor sort of thing? Thank you for the time, sorry if my writing is confusing or grammar is off.

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On 1/9/2022 at 2:19 PM, DiscourseMage said:

For around a year I took either LSD or Shrooms once a month. My last dose of LSD was last May. It was scary (painful) enough to quit. I had enough robot monkey glitch time. There was benefits like I was able to grasp my paranoia, trauma, psychoses and sociopathy. This was amazing for me but it appears like I've made a sacrifice. My first HPPD incident was a month after my last LSD trip. I was already getting flashbacks and general shifts of perceptions in the aftermath of the dose and long term experiments. But the first uncomfortable incident was after I took a bong rip, then I squatted. I got light headed due to oxygen deprivation and thought I was just on a really big cannabis high. I was wrong because I lifted up too intense and it felt I had just taken a dose of LSD and the peak was ramping. I had the feeling of my brain skipping and being blocked from functioning like I'd dosed really intensely and my legs wouldn't stop spasming until the "Peak" ended and my vision "Paned". It was like this for approx 40 min and my legs still spasmed in little bursts after a few hours. I fell asleep after that and for weeks I had that aftermath feeling again. I had another episode a  week ago only I've been sober off tobacco and cannabis for about 3 months ish. I stopped the cannabis right after the first incident but it took a bit longer for the tobacco, so there was no instance of oxygen deprivation. It was the same thing only weaker. The spasms happened again though less violently and it past in around 20-30 mins. I've figured I have HDDP, fine but I've had goals in mind. The first incident was triggered by excessive drug use and the second was because I stayed up for two days playing a video game and you're suppose to have decent rest, I wasn't doing that. So health is on it's way I now know to get rest with diet and exercise, plus education.

Another thing I'm interested in is changing my gender M/F. One might not think that this relates to HPPD but in fact it may directly be related. LSD changes the 5-HT2A https://americanaddictioncenters.org/lsd-abuse/what-does-lsd-do-to-your-brain  receptors and that's where the mood altering affects come from. What pumps that receptor is Estragon  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7632610/ 

 

This comparison scares me because I really want to transition M/F with Hormone Therapy (No bottom surgery I keep the peen) but how I'm figuring this out is it may trigger more frequent HDDP episodes. Does anyone know if I'm right or wrong or is this more of ask the doctor sort of thing? Thank you for the time, sorry if my writing is confusing or grammar is off.

If you’ve been on a bad trip and you re-live it, it’s the worst thing in the world and it definitely raises your anxiety, it makes you feel disconnected and fearful, do you ever see colours around objects ect, if you feel like that then you do have HPPD, 

I would like to ask why you want to change your gender,   I am not saying that that is wrong but why do you want to do it, get back to me 💕

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It's like the functions that make my conciseness gets jammed by a butter knife and my brain skips and I'm not thinking when I should be for those moments, I think that's the disconnected feeling. Anxiety yeah especially for those moments when I spasm, only three flashbacks when the spasms happened. You know what I do like is when I'm walking around outside everything seems smaller and easier to comprehend, not as intimidating. I've looked online at other people's stories and man they deal with a lot more than me. This one girl said people's faces would get covered by light, that sounds terrifying. But yes light after effects (Affects?) more brightly now.

 

With the the gender stuff I might say things that are loosely accurate or "anecdotal". 

I think when someone decides to be trans it's a mix of sexuality and hormone levels. As a bio male I feel non-binary because I don't have as much testosterone but also not as much estrogen levels because I'm male, so I'm in this "between state". Through puberty I didn't exercise, ate processed food/junk foods with photo-estrogens, stayed out of the sun, and masturbated everyday (thanks internet hentai). This all caused my manliness to be reduced and caused me to have a feminine face. The junk food did cause me to be obese which I'm out of at 178lbs. The leftover flab has caused man titties to stay around, sorta c cups i think, they're not feminine titties right now but I figure When I do HRT and when my skin tightens over time.... (Short break to say yes a gemini trans is talking a shit ton about themselves it's nature.)

Considering all of this I could do HRT to be more masculine I think a lot of people do that if they want to be closer to their bio gender. As traditionally a homosexual male and untraditionally being Non-binary being fully female in hormone levels sounds like the best option for me. What I've noticed is for men, too much of mom equals gay. For females, too much of dad equals to lesbian. I was around my sisters and mom a lot and I was missing a proper male role model. This causes me to reach for male attention romantically and sexually. 

It's been some time since OP and I'm going through with it after I lose more weight my goal is 150lbs, which would be the most optimal BMI for me. The way I see it is females that are born female and have HPPD deal with it so I can too. I'll report if it makes a difference if any. Thanks for listening.

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