morbide Posted April 22, 2012 Report Share Posted April 22, 2012 Good evening everone! I've been posting a little on this forum but i guess it's time for a proper introduction I am 18 years old, i live in Stockholm, Sweden and i've been suffering from mild hppd for ~7 months i guess. It all started a couple of months after my second use of hallucinogenes, i went through a trip from hell using ~70 mg of 4-HO-MET, shitty drug. Anyhoo, a couple of months after that i was at home watching tv when i suddenly noticed that the walls were breathing and all of a sudden the whole room was covered in static.As i was suspicious i googled for "4-Ho-MET side effects" and i read about hppd, the breathing and the static was spot on, i got a little anxious and scared but i didn't really care then. My life went on, i smoked the occasional spliff, turned 18 and went out clubbing and drinking every weekend until i overdid it once. The next day along with an infernal hangover came several panicattacks which must have triggered my hppd even more becouse since then (4 months ago approximately) i haven't been the same. First the dp and dr hit me like a bottle to the head and as time went on i started noticing even more symptoms and i started reading more and more about hppd. Now even more symptoms were spot on. I started getting more anxious over my visual snow, afterimages and the fact that things were moving if i looked at them for a couple of seconds at a time. Nowadays not a single day is the other alike, somedays my symptoms are terrible and somedays they are not but mostly it's going steady and i am very happy that i am not suffering from dp/dr anymore, right now visual snow is my biggest concern actually. If i wake up without visual snow i call cured, afterimages doesn't really bother me and neither does floaters but i guess the research goes forward and there is no reason to let it take over my life. Long story short, my biggest problems are the visual snow and the constant fear of it getting worse. I guess i don't have any good tips for anyone except to get rid of their anxiety, i have been diagnosed with GAD and panicsyndrome wich is a bitch but hey, i am still alive and i have caring friends and family! And maybe it's for the better to get a little personal so here's a picture of me, pre-hppd, happy as a clam and "smiling" like a fag Best of regards // Morbide. I apologize for a messy text but us swedes aren't famous for our english! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 Hi morbide Im also new to the site , nice to meet you. It seems you have a good chance at recovery as you are young and your hppd is only 7 months. Dont do anymore drugs or drink even once if you want to give yourself the best chance. Take care Al oh your english is better than mine , I can't spell for shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 its nice to finally hear a full intro on ur situation dude. it sucks that the dr/dp hit u so hard but im sure it will clear up, wer both quite similar ages so hopefully as we grow up more it heals up eh? also u may have hppd but atleast u have those gorgeous swedish women eh i also like the pre hppd pictures! i think its a good idea, lets everyone see who we are and how we used to be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted April 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 Well the alcohol ain't easy to stay away from, there are millions of graduation parties right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 i bet man, have u tried drinking a little? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted April 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) Yes it's no problem with a couple of beers but last weekend when i went to bed i got crazy spammerhandbag hallucinations after a night of drinking alot although it was only with closed eyes. Glad i wasn't sleeping alone then but It sucked really hard. Hangover wasn't severe though. Edited April 23, 2012 by morbide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 " spammer handbag hallucinations " haha love it atleast it was only closed eyes. im super scared to try a beer or 2. dont think i will just yet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted April 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 I was also scared but i could not imagine it getting worse only becouse of a single beer, your call though Just don't overdo it! Actually i have occasionally gotten pissdrunk without any effect on hppd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 hmm maybe i will try a couple then. i miss stella so much. i used to drink it so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted April 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 Go for it man, hppd can't take away every satisfaction in our lifes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferret Posted April 24, 2012 Report Share Posted April 24, 2012 Im nervous about drinking too. I think I'm going to wait a while longer before I try but it's good to hear it didn't effect you badly. But if it causes CEVs it can't be very good to do. I just wish i could know whether CEVs could lead to something worse, if not i could actually enjoy them a little. I get them a lot when I'm trying to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zukov Posted April 24, 2012 Report Share Posted April 24, 2012 Take a vacation from alcohol. When you're ready, drink a little sometime. I was pretty scared of drink months ago, when i crash into this last year. Drink sometime (and heavy rarely) didn't make worse my symptoms. Only my dr/dp became worse the next day, but nothing to worry about before a long time sleeping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted April 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2012 This friday it's inevitable for me to grab a few beers, i'll update you afterwards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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