Jump to content

15 minutes of freedom.


morbide
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hello!

I am new to this forum but not to hppd and all that comes with it.

Since i am new here, let me give you a background check: I'm 18 years old, a student and i come from Stockholm, Sweden.

I did 4-ho-met once during the autumn 2011, i think i overdosed it becouse it was a trip from hell, the world itself desintegrated... Anyhow, a couple of months after that i noticed the walls moving at home while watching tv and as the worrying type that i am i directly made a search for "4-ho-met side effects" and i read about hppd, it was spot on.

So i've suffered from extreme dp/dr, after images, trails, halos, moving ground and visual snow from hell for a couple of months now but last night somwthing wierd happened. I sat at my computer until about 01:00 at night and did my before-bed routine, i jacked off (might be irrelevant, might not) and lit a cigarette at the balcony and then i realized something was wrong. I felt like a human being and i could see darkness, like pale black for the first time in months, i looked up at the sky and i saw stars! I became so happy i almost started crying, i went inside and looked myself in the mirror and i saw a soul, not a mindless shell. Every symptom i had was completely gone but then they came back, first came the snow out of nowhere, like if someone had pushed a button, and with it came the dp/dr, anxiety and the rest.

So does anyone have any idea why everything went away for a while (it felt like an eternity)? Was it becouse i was super relaxed maybe? I mean orgasm + a cigarrette is almost like doing drugs now a days.

I apologize if i'm writing crappy, english is not my native language :P

Best regards // Morbide

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some peoples HPPD goes away, normally when you've had it for years we learn to live with it, but if your new to it, you've always got a chance this will subside, and you'll make a full recovery. This may be what's gonna happen to you in the near future? If so your incredibly lucky! Please learn from it and never ever do drugs again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some peoples HPPD goes away, normally when you've had it for years we learn to live with it, but if your new to it, you've always got a chance this will subside, and you'll make a full recovery. This may be what's gonna happen to you in the near future? If so your incredibly lucky! Please learn from it and never ever do drugs again.

I sure hope that my hppd will go away, and no i will never ever touch drugs again, only nicotine and some alcohol.

Oh and by the way, my worst symptom is the visual snow and for people who feel the same, there is going to be a meeting between neurologists im America soon, in April i think, this is a huge annual meeting and this will be the first time ever that visual snow will be presented officially!

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

HPPD does go away for some people, the fact that you had 15 minutes HPPD free, means it may happen for you, mind you I'mno doctor, but I've spent alot of time on HPPD research.

If it doesn't, then it does get easier. You just learn to adjust it a sense.

I had what I believe to be DP/DR for several months after a mescaline trip, then the doctor prescribed me SSRI's for what he figured was anxiety, my HPPD developed that day.

You'll get better bro, seriously. Even if it never goes (mine hasn't after several years) it does get easier. Just ignore it. HPPD is an evil c*** of a disorder in that the more you worry about it, the worse it gets. Try to focus on ANYTHING that takes your mind off it. Maybe the jacking off to porn distracted you from it for long enough that you got a healthy moment cause your brain relaxed? Dunno, Im not a doctor. What I do know is that leading up to anything exciting in my life I feel the best. Cause Im thinking of whatever the excitement is as opposed to dwelling in HPPD DP/Dr hell.

Take care man, you may get better, you may adjust, either way life will get easier.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you so much for you answer Still_here, i woke up this morning, happy after a crazy dream and then i realized my room is full of static and that made me sad... But then i read your post and realized that there is no reason what so ever to let the hppd control my life, i will control IT.

And WindScar i noticed it here: http://www.eyeonvision.org/

Here is a copy paste:

AAN Annual Meeting

Dr. Goadsby and Dr. Schankin will also be discussing the topic of visual snow at the annual Meeting of the American Academy of Neurology. This is set for April 21 through 28, 2012, in New Orleans. The AAN Annual Meeting will feature more than 2,000 scientific research presentations and key lectures on the latest advancements in the prevention and treatment of brain disorders. This is the first time that visual snow will have this sort of exposure and credibility within the medical community. To view the abstract please go to this URL: http://www.abstracts2view.com/aan/view.php?nu=AAN12L_S36_006&terms=

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Morbide,

It sounds like you are on the threshold of getting better (keep up the good work) ... which most do.

Your "orgasm + a cigarrette" remind me of the dopamine system and the possible use of dopamine agonists to treat HPPD (a subject I harp about). Orgasm involves dopamine reward. Cigarettes have nicotine which binds on acetylcholine receptors (acetylcholine and dopamine have a push-pull relationship in a lot of brain systems). A curious anomaly (but not an endorsement) is that cigarette smokers cut the risk of developing Parkinson's disease (a dopamine shortage disorder) in half.

HPPD is more complex than just a dopamine shortage. But there seems to be emerging info about the relationship and use of dopamine meds to help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Was about to write the same as Visual. I also experienced some improvement after sex or any activity that produces a great pleasure. Any activity that involves a great reward releases dopamine. Obviously sex is the activity that is going to release more dopamine: D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Morbide,

It sounds like you are on the threshold of getting better (keep up the good work) ... which most do.

Your "orgasm + a cigarrette" remind me of the dopamine system and the possible use of dopamine agonists to treat HPPD (a subject I harp about). Orgasm involves dopamine reward. Cigarettes have nicotine which binds on acetylcholine receptors (acetylcholine and dopamine have a push-pull relationship in a lot of brain systems). A curious anomaly (but not an endorsement) is that cigarette smokers cut the risk of developing Parkinson's disease (a dopamine shortage disorder) in half.

HPPD is more complex than just a dopamine shortage. But there seems to be emerging info about the relationship and use of dopamine meds to help.

Did you know that regularly using ibuprofen cuts the risk of Parkinson's by a similar amount to that of smoking?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12607042

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks ... hadn't heard that one. But, flat out, chronic inflammation is damaging to health. (And ibuprofen is a lot safer than smoking :D ) Inflammation in the brain is excitotoxic and just plain loads down the whole metabolic support systems that keep cells health.

As a side point, chronic anxiety causes inflammation ... this is one reason why some people get better as they get their anxiety under control. And there are a few member who report their symptoms are affected by their emotional state.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Regular ibuprofen can be pretty bad for your liver though.

Morbide- distract yourself as much as possible and don't worry about your condition. Anxiety causes the derealization so try to control your anxiety the best that you can (be warry of any medications).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.