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New years goal


rrab
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Hi all. Felt like i should share my story and ask for some advice.

I have had hppd for about 4 and a half years now. I think I've only released what it really was less then a year ago. It all started from 3 magic mushrooms trips all a week apart. Before this i had had a bit of weed and ecstasy but not a huge amount. The next day after my 3rd trip it all started things were moving and i think even dp/dr stated as every thing just looked out of focus and i felt i wasn't there. It then just all went down hill for the next few months. Unsure what i had i asked my friends if things moved when looking at them and they said "yeah just don't stare at shit". As everyone says hallucinogens 'open' your mind and change your view on the world so i thought this must of all been normal.

I kept using 'party' drugs over the next 4 years and just avoided hallucinogens. At one stage as well when i had some speed i noticed no visual symptoms every thing felt good again. Any way i was stupid hit it too hard and it all got so bad. I have stopped doing all drugs now and my symptoms are better then what they were at there worst. I still have static, 'sparks' when i look at a blue sky or a white surface, I think I have dp/dr, brain fog, can't concentrate, everything looks out of focus and bad memory. I also struggle to look at led lights and sometimes screens. They just come in and out of focus. Maybe this is halos? Its hard to tell when its all hard to look at.

I have learnt to live with it these days but my new years goal is to start trying to cure my self from this hell. I was wondering where should i start? Should i see a psychiatrist? Neurologist? I feel reading this website i may have low dopamine. As going from the time i had speed (which increases dopamine) and it stopped my symptoms. Now if I'm right sinement increases dopamine? Its a drug i want to give a try but is it what i should stat with? I keep my self active and also try to exercise my brain as well, by learning a new language and new skills. I eat well too and this year I'm cutting the booze down as well.

Also any one out there in Australia had any luck with any doctors?

Any way this is only the 2nd time I've talked about my symptoms. The only other time was to my girlfriend a couple months ago

Good luck to everyone so nice to see so much support on this web site

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i noticed that the last time i did molly everything became extremely clear, apart from trails, now that you mention it. everything was crisp and not moving or breathing. so that's an interesting concept, the increased dopamine. good luck with your situation i unfortunately have nothing productive to add - im starting my own recovery.

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Well, MDMA does affect a lot:

+ Dopamine - visual, motor, and reward processing (increase sex drive)

+ Norepinephrin - focus, attention, improved emotional engagement, reduce learned fear associations

+ Serotonin - relaxed, feel good, feel safe

+ Prolactine - increase lactation, reduce estrogen and testosterone (decrease sex drive)

+ ACTH - increase corticosteroids (adrenaline)

+ Oxytocin - increase social bonding ('love hormone')

+ DHEA - increase estrogen and testosterone

+ Vasopression - increase water retention

- Decreases amygdala activity - reduce anxiety, affects memory formation

Its no wonder many people like it. But a lot of these effects are contraditory to each other - so it really puts the brain and hormone system throught the hoops.

Like many things, large amounts 'fry' your neurons or at least rewire them. Small amounts have been used medically for pain relief and mild psychiatric disorders.

Some people claim it is completely safe. Others say they developed HPPD from it.

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Youve waited 4 years nd it hasnt gotten better so im kind of reluctant to tell you to try to fix it in ways unrelated to medicine, but considering you havent had an extended period of sobriety, it really seems likely that it might get better if you take a holistic approach, at least for a few months to see how that works out. Exercise, eat healthy, 7.5-8 hours of sleep every night, supplements, mental stimulation, reading books, doin math, being social etc...NO DRUGS...medicine is fine if you cant live without it, but if you can fix yourself up and not have to depend on a drug to do it, wouldnt that be better? You really just have to stop dwelling on it, whicch is hard

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Thanks for the reply visual I'm always reading your posts. You seem to know a huge amount about how the brain works and the way its effected

I think your right boogres. Nothing better then just looking after your self. It has been getting better the less drugs i took but i feel i've been at this level for a long time now. Maybe a good 6 months of looking after my self as best as possible might be the best start. Any supplements your recommend? Thanks for the reply

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Also any one out there in Australia had any luck with any doctors?

Nope. Went to a psychiatrist but was given respiridone which was not a good idea at all. I emailed Dr. Abraham's asking if he knew of anyone who specialised in hppd in Australia but he didn't.

Let me know if you find one please.

Cheers and all the best!

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Boogres is right – that you HAVE to live your life healthy (food, sleep, exercise – physical and mental, socializing, work on positive attitude, no drugs, blah, blah, blah…)

While it has been 4 years, here are a couple points of encouragement (for all)

#1 – Have peripheral neuropathy (numbness in parts of body). It had been during the first year of this HPPD crap. Saw the leading Neurologist in my area and he said that since it had been so long, there was no hope of repair. However, I found a way to heal it (which also helped my eyesight as well). So it is never too late to get better

#2 – Had visual distortions over a year. Even seeing in frames about 1 second apart. In a year’s time of ‘healthy living’ and all sorts of pills, acupuncture, etc., this had barely improved. A few hours on a dopamine agonist and it was noticeably better. By day 7, the frame rate went down to ½ second. Vision became sharp, halos reduced and contrast problems improved. So it is never too late to get better.

So, at the annoyance of repetition, as long as you are alive, it is never too late to get better.

Wish you success...

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Im only taking vitamin b-12, a vitamin b complex, and ALPHA GPC, which visual recommended and, while it's hard to tell, I feel like it has REALLY helped me. It's kinda hard to tell, plus ive only been taking it for around 3 weeks (wow i actually cant believe it's been so little time.) But who knows, I still feel pretty dissociated. But many of my symptoms are definitely better, still present, but definitely weaker. I tried NAC, which im not sure if it did anything or not apart from making my nose feel super clean haha and tyrosine, which I doubt had any real benefit, disappointingly enough.

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Well, nothing like having aclean nose ...

Yes, it was 5000 mcg sublingual Methylcobalamin (type of B12), 1200 mg liquid GPC (crayhon research), and about 3000 mg MSM. Did this for a few days, then waited 2-3 weeks, then start again. This is what helped the neuropathy mentioned above. Originally used injections of B12 but stopped because of the aluminum.

For some reason, it works better to have the pauses and as that group. Note: take both B12 and GPC in the morning because it can interfere with sleep.

Here a fun read http://en.wikipedia....Methylcobalamin -- (apparently others know about its benefit for all sorts of neurological stuff too)

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Thanks for all the replies boorgres and visual. Think i'll give the supplements a try and see how it goes. It mite even give me a good platform to stand on when i feel i want to start medication. Reading some of the stories on here makes me think my hppd isn't as bad as it could be. Although it sucks and it feels like I'm never thinking straight it could be much worse.

Another quick question has any one suffered or herd of any one having seizures/blackouts from hppd? I have had 4 of them in my life all since i have had hppd. My last one was over a year ago.

I'll let you know how i go to loky. Im from melbourne my self what about you? Im happy to travel interstate to see a doc with some experience with hppd

Best of luck to everyone.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks for all the replies boorgres and visual. Think i'll give the supplements a try and see how it goes. It mite even give me a good platform to stand on when i feel i want to start medication. Reading some of the stories on here makes me think my hppd isn't as bad as it could be. Although it sucks and it feels like I'm never thinking straight it could be much worse.

Another quick question has any one suffered or herd of any one having seizures/blackouts from hppd? I have had 4 of them in my life all since i have had hppd. My last one was over a year ago.

I'll let you know how i go to loky. Im from melbourne my self what about you? Im happy to travel interstate to see a doc with some experience with hppd

Best of luck to everyone.

I've had a few 'blips' that were so fast I didn't fall over. And some minor flashes of light in one eye.

How extensive were your seizures/blackouts ... what were they like?

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Mine were really bad.

The first one happened about 9 months after i had hppd. It was new years day night (if that makes sense). I had 1 pill and a small amount of speed for the first time the night before. I had a few people round at my house at the time and we were having a smoke and drink. I had been having stomach pains from about 6pm that night and they were slowly getting worse. We all went to bed and a couple hours later my friends woke me saying i was groaning heaps. I woke up and it was with in about 30 seconds i blacked out. When i came too i had been out for about 30 seconds. They said all of a sudden i collapsed on my bed then sat up and started breathing really heavy staring at them for 10 sec or so then collapsed again. This time they said i stopped breathing they jumped on top of me and woke me up.

The next 2 came on again the next day or 2 after a night out. (Still hard to believe i kept doing it to my self) The 4th though came on when i hadn't had any thing for a couple months. All of them i have had really bad stomach pain (3 of 4 i've passed out on the toilet haha). Im not sure if its some thing related to hppd or not have never seen a doc about it. I have always had a weak stomach too.

It has been over a year now since my last one so i think it mite of just been all the crap i was putting in my body.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks for all the replies boorgres and visual. Think i'll give the supplements a try and see how it goes. It mite even give me a good platform to stand on when i feel i want to start medication. Reading some of the stories on here makes me think my hppd isn't as bad as it could be. Although it sucks and it feels like I'm never thinking straight it could be much worse.

Another quick question has any one suffered or herd of any one having seizures/blackouts from hppd? I have had 4 of them in my life all since i have had hppd. My last one was over a year ago.

I'll let you know how i go to loky. Im from melbourne my self what about you? Im happy to travel interstate to see a doc with some experience with hppd

Best of luck to everyone.

Hey rrab,

sorry for the delay man - only just saw this thread again. Yeah I'm from Melbourne but I've been away for the last 7 months. I know there is a specialist drug recovery centre in Perth but haven't investigated what is available in Melbourne. This year I'm going to get into a lot of supplements and do a lot of research with the idea of calling Dr. Abrahams (it's $250 an hour apparently) or going to a neurologist in Melbourne to find out a few things. I find it's a bit of a tricky choice whether to try and not dwell on hppd and move on, or really try and sort it out. My mood fluctuates so much I really don't know where I stand.

I've been dealing with hppd for about a year now. If you ever want to meet up or whatever then let me know.

Cheers

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