ramblingon Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 EDIT: Spelling error in title; your* HPPD, to me, is fairly unpredictable. I experience boughts of DP/DR every single day, during which I can't think. I've never felt more stupid than during those times. I fear being around people during those times, because of how out of it I must seem. Cognitively I'm just not there. I can't hold a conversation. I can't concentrate on anything, or think quickly if at all. I'm just there, kind of dazing or tripping out. I have no idea what triggers these things. Possibly anxiety, but to me it just seems random and unpredictable. Everyday. I really cherish my moments of clarity, however brief. I find myself going out less because I don't know how i'll be an hour from now. I start school soon and I feel like HPPD is getting worse yet again. It's been over a year for me, and I still feel so...for lack of a better word, stupid. All the time. I just can't think and concentrate. I've done okay for periods of time but it always comes back harder. How do you plan you life around something so unpredictable? Am I just setting myself up for failure thinking this way? In my head, I don't think so. There is something wrong with my brain chemically that I can't control. Is that true? Can this be mastered, and can I live a full life? I don't feel like myself. I think I lost that person a long time ago. I don't feel the love I used to have for family and friends, and I wish I did more than anything. I wish I could wake up, see a familiar face and instantly know how much that person means to me. Seems like I remember big things, but not details now. Such as...."This guy. He's been one of my best buds since high school. Cool." But I don't feel connected anymore. Sorry for the rant, think HPPD and DP/DR are hitting me hard today and I'm felling down about it. I was doing pretty well for a while and might have got too optimistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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