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I am so happy I found this site. I didn't even know that what I am experienceing is real thing. I took some LSD 18 years ago and had a terrible trip. I won't bother you with a list of things I have Experienced, it's all pretty typical of this disease. It took about 4 years until i Felt like myself again. Anyway that's my story. My brain has compensated so even though the visuals are always present I've grown accustomed to them. If anyone wants to respond I would appreciate it. I'd be more than happy to answer any question. Anyway thank for making this site available.

ps To anyone he just aquired this diease I can tell you from my own experience that it may never go away but you will manage. Like I said it was years of hell but things got much better after that. I'm not sure if I got better or just use to it.

Anyway, my brain adjusted. The visuals are always there but I've learned to ignore them.

Quick question: Doese anyone see Fireworks (best way i can describe them). This is not a constant thing but once a year I see fireworks. It tends to happen when I'm stressed or vomiting. These "fireworks" engulf my field of vision but if i close my eyes the seem to go away by themselves.

Thanks for listening

-------Greg

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Hi Greg,

I also suffer from HPPD, and it also took me 4 years to figure out what was wrong with me.

It happened when I was 16 and snorted butane gas. Nobody understood what was wrong with me so it feels really good to not be alone anymore.

My visuals started as patterns that ended in wierd spirals (triangles in triangles), now I have the normal description of HPPD visuals.

I understood the concept of negative and positives, and learned the rules of the expandation. I kept getting flashbacks everytime I smoke weed, and I kept on doing it for 2 years, hoping it would come to an end. It only became worse and worse.

I, too, after a couple years learned to live with it, and it just became an acceptable thing for me, and it gets weaker and weaker when I stop doing drugs.

I don't see fireworks, but when I get a panic attack or something like it, it triggers my condition and gives me flashbacks. That also applies to depression.

It's like a wave going back and forth through your head.

and I'm always over-analyzing things, which makes me go too deep into my own mind, and I see these patterns and functions which I understand, and when I was younger I came to a point where I understood and said"Oh no..." and really realized that my mind had gone too far. I was understanding things I wasn't supposed to.

This visions we have is like a broken filter. But the trick is to stay out of drugs, but I just keep going because I don't want 'it' to win over me.

But now I'm doing psychedelics, tranquilizers and benzo's. Weed/Hash is still the most dangerous drug I can take, because it triggers the flashbacks, and they keep expanding.

So yeah, I guess we two got HPPD almost at the same time. But I'm still doing drugs, so my filter gets broken again. But it recovers fast if I take a couple weeks or a months break from everything.

But yeah, I would be interested in reading about your LSD trip, and see if I can relate to that.

But butane gas is a pretty hardcore thing to trigger HPPD on, because it made me realize that the entire world is just a combination and expandation of positives, negatives and energy. Red, Blue, and mixed together it becomes yellow.

Long story, and so far nobody has understood my thoughts, so I just tried to forget what I had learned and tried to distance myself from it.

But for me it became 4 different stages of psychosis when smoking weed that evolved in 2 years.

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ex, thanks for reading. anywho...Three friends & I took LSD. They had a wonderful time. I felt as if my soul had left my body. I sat in an ant bed just letting the little guys bight the shit out of my legs. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. The 8 hour trip seemed to last months via time dialation. I understood that everyone and everything is seperate. Empathy is only a delusion. This came to me during the Trip. It was the next day that I understood my visual field was altered. I've gotten back pieces of myself since the initial incident. Slowly it comes back. Things are better at this point. The visuals are manageable. Thanks for hearing my story.

edit: I too did much inhalants back in the day. I would use nitrous constantly as I worked at a dental office. I had the condition before I started abusing nitrous but I'm sure it didn't help. It's been a long strange journey.

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  • 3 months later...

Thanks for the encouragement not many people post after they have recovered.

My trip was kinda the opposite I felt like everything was more connected and even though I've always been an empathetic person I feel like I really feel other peoples pain and sorrow in a first person ind of way now.

About seeing the fireworks once a year, are you sure it's not on the 4th of July? Just kidding. My visuals have been nearly gone the past week or so but last night I was driving down the road with a friend and I saw fireworks in the distance I was really worried in the ten seconds it took him to see them too. Hahahahaha

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