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Nine-month update -- I'm beating HPPD and here's how


K.B.Fante
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So I've posted an update about my status after three months, six months and now nine. A brief rundown of my circumstance: 

 

-- Got HPPD May 8, 2015 from one hit of acid. 

 

-- Noticed the first real signs of improvement after two months. 

 

-- Could finally look at my bed sheets without them moving after about four months. 

 

-- Basically lived in hell till about five-six months. 

 

-- Around eight months things started to click a bit more but I was still really struggling with visual symptoms, brain fog and depression. 

 

And so here we are at nine months. I still have small traces of brain fog here and there. I still have a little trouble organizing my thoughts but in general I'm basically able to do everything I could before, maybe not quite at that same level but close enough. My snow is still visible but only when I look into the sky and when I wake up in the morning. My macropsia is still there and it's pretty noticeable when objects are close but otherwise I don't notice it too much. Streamers are the same -- still there but not too noticeable. The biggest thing that's still very hard to cope with is frame rate and objects moving in relation to one another as I can't track them horizontally across my vision without the background moving slightly as well. But again, nothing I can't handle. 

 

I've been wanting to write this for about a month, just saying that I'm doing good, but I've been holding back as I've been very hesitant to speak about how well I'm doing and then have a massive depressive episode, which seems to happen all the time with HPPD. But I think truly that I can say for the first time since getting HPPD that I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm in no way cured and I still have a long ways to go, but this is the first time I really feel like my old self again and can go about my days without thinking of HPPD all the time. Over the last month I hardly thought of HPPD at all. That's insane! For the longest time it seems I couldn't even hold a conversation without dwelling over all my symptoms. The point is that I'm making progress, a lot, and that I think I understand why... 

 

To me, it's all about three things: exercise, positive thinking and sobriety. This, as far as I can tell, is the magic. If you want to beat HPPD you cannot take any drugs whatsoever and you must exercise a lot. Right now I have a job four days a week where I'm outside lifting things all day long. Then on my days off I run at least three miles and lift weights. I do exercise every single day and I have to say, I can definitely feel a difference over the last few months since I've started this routine. Big time. It really really makes a difference. Also, one of the biggest breakthroughs I've had was just deciding to think positive instead of negative. It's easy to get down about how off track your life is, how bad things are compared to your old life, but think about how much worse off you could be! Have you ever been inside a mental hospital? Yes HPPD is the worst thing that's ever happened to me, but at least you still get to live and exercise and laugh and do other things unique to the human condition. The power of thinking positively, of being grateful, can and will do wonders for you if you apply it to your life with mindfulness. Trust me, this is a big one. 

 

Other things that help: meditation (with binaural beats), eating healthy and balanced, yoga, cold showers (blood flow to the brain), socializing, reading (I really believe this is great mental exercise), learning, loving. Guys, it's not rocket science. If you want to become healthy and try to overcome HPPD you must take the natural route and do all the things that are proven to be good for you. If you're really struggling or have had HPPD for a long time then meds are obviously a good way to cope, but for people who first get HPPD I'd strongly recommend taking every step necessary to lead a healthy lifestyle, one filled with exercise and hardcore mental stimulation. This is the path. This is how you can heal. I know because it's working for me and it's worked for others. Nothing's guaranteed with HPPD but this is just about as good as it gets for now. 

 

Lastly, I'd just like to comment on suicide. For all the people out there contemplating the act of taking your own life because HPPD is too overwhelming, trust me, it's the most foolish thing you can do. If there's one thing I've learned throughout this process it's that life turns around quicker than you could ever imagine. I know it's difficult and at times it seems like it will never end, but there is always another day and with the advancements in medicine you'd feel incredibly silly if you offed yourself only for there to be a cure the next day. Shoot, I still have HPPD as we speak, some of my symptoms being incredibly noticeable, and yet I'm a pretty happy guy. I've gone a month with thinking about HPPD on a very limited basis. I might very well have a girlfriend. I sing in the shower. I talk to strangers. THIS WAS UNTHINKABLE even two months ago! So again, guys, please please please do not give in to the temptations to end your life. It's the worst decision you could ever make. 

 

OK, I'll be back in another three months to update you again. I might post in between too. But I'm gonna try and enjoy life a bit. Please everyone, I urge you to keep fighting, keep pushing, keep thinking positively for the future, and you'll be OK. 

 

-- K.B. 

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This is great to hear! I've been exercising hardcore and trying to put as much mental stimulation in my life as possible lately combined with a healthy diet and its definitely helping my mood. Do you eat healthy? What's your diet and also do you drink green tea?

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I eat healthy but nothing too special. Just a lot of homecooked stuff, no fast food, lots of fruits and veggies. I think exercise and mental stimulation are the best though. I've been doing both in large doses every day and have definitely seen a noticeable decrease in symptoms despite the fact I only sleep about five hours each night and have a bit of anxiety right now. 

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6 months recovery is fast. I have it now for 3 years and still no big improvements, im afraid im not becoming better anymore. I tried alsmost very med outthere and nothing really works, it might help me cope. Now after 3 years of trying sporting, taking meds, doing everything.. im now for 20 hours in my bed im exhuasted of everything. I want to think positive, but everything i ever liked i cant do anymore (go out, have drink, talk,etc) Nothing is positive in my view, i cant drive a car anymore, im on meds which sucks,  im dizzy as hell,. cant hardly breath most of the time. 

 

I cant live like this my whole life. Maybe you are in the 20 orsow and your brain can heal, im a bit older and feel i cant bare it anymore

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Hppd33, what meds are you on? If you have had it for only 3 years it doesn't mean it won't go away, you Harv to start eating healthy, exercising harder and taking supplements that support neurogenesis. Neurogenesis is the repair of brain cells and is the only way to repair hppd

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I got HPPD a year ago from ayahuasca and 10 weeks after that I got very bad DP/DR after messing with aya again, after images would last minutes, impaired motor function. existential thoughts, visual snow, macropsia, everything looking unreal, etc.

 

I've reached a similar place as OP, all symptoms have decreased to a manageable level and life bears more resemblance to what it used to be like.

 

I've exercised everyday but also drank beer and smoked weed throughout, I had mdma and speed intermittently and I recovered at the same rate as when I stayed sober even though getting intoxicated exacerbated symptoms.

 

I avoided anti depressants or any other pharmas.

 

My diet stayed the same, I had a spell taking 5-htp and other vitamins but not sure they did anything.

 

The best thing ultimately has been sleep and time.

 

I've only ever tripped on smoked dmt and ayahuasca, no acid or mushrooms.

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