peanuttiest Posted December 7, 2015 Report Posted December 7, 2015 Hi folks - I have had HPPD for 5 months now. It's started to get better in some ways - this past week I noticed a big improvement. It was my husband's birthday and he threw a huge party and I attended. I was worried about second-hand marijuana smoke - although nobody was allowed to smoke in the house and I did not go outside with the smokers. Of course I did not consume alcohol or other drugs. However, I could smell it at various points throughout the night. The door kept opening and wafts of smoke came in, and apparently some folks hotboxed the porch - today (two days later) I have more intense visual snow, after-images, and closed eye visuals again!! Those had disappeared after the first month. It's so disappointing. I'm sure it must be due to this - there is no other explanation. I wanted to tell folks that even distal marijuana exposure can worsen symptoms. I'm also wanting to know whether anyone has had this experience and whether the symptoms have backed down to normal afterward. Needless to say, no more parties where there is marijuana for me :-( Peanuttiest
trip into hell Posted December 7, 2015 Report Posted December 7, 2015 my hppd is over but it took me 4 1/2 month and i have still a panic disorder...means i get panic attacks from more than a microdose of marijuana or something else...im sorry to tell you but for most of the people who came over this..the party seems to be still over for the rest of their lives...and i really loved ''drugs'' i was always enjoying them like crazy until my overdose of mushrooms...now im just a piece of shit for the rest of my life cause i cant appreciate for it as much as before..its just eternal agony..i hope to die early. dont give up peanut
peanuttiest Posted December 7, 2015 Author Report Posted December 7, 2015 I hear you - it really sucks. I'm so happy for you that your HPPD is gone!!! That's amazing! Panic disorder is awful - but also treatable. I am so aware that the party is over for the rest of my life - I can deal with that. I just thought I could attend and be sober - but turns out there is too much risk of second-hand pot smoke. I'm wondering if this setback will pass, and if anyone else has had a similar experience?
Granite Posted December 7, 2015 Report Posted December 7, 2015 Peanuttiest, Sorry to hear about that. I've experienced the same discomfort. The only thing we really have is patience. Unfortunately, most people who develop this issue just don't have enough patience (makes sense a lot of us are addicts), and continue to worsen the problem when trying to heal. After 6 years of dealing with a severe form of HPPD, I can tell you it will most likely get better, but you need to avoid all things that trigger it -- completely. I did read about a guy who developed HPPD and never touched weed again for 10 years, and when he finally he did, he was OK. So, there's no telling what could happen, but realistically speaking in order to completely heal from this, people have to move on from the idea that drugs need to be apart of their lives or they're fucked. And I personally believe all this trying to balance the brain out with this supplement or medication is not good either...how else can the body get back to it's natural homeostasis. Just hang in there, I'm sure your effects will pass soon.
peanuttiest Posted December 7, 2015 Author Report Posted December 7, 2015 Thanks Granite!! I totally agree - no more parties with any chance of anyone smoking marijuana! I definitely do not put psychoactive substance in my body any longer. I'm amazed that such a small amount of second-hand smoke (I wasn't near it!) could do this. I would be so curious to hear about your recovery process!!
Granite Posted December 7, 2015 Report Posted December 7, 2015 Me too.. My friends think I'm crazy when I tell them it triggers me, but whatever they just don't understand what we go through. I don't even know where to begin with my story. I developed a disabling form of HPPD, much worse than what I started with 16 years ago. It landed me on disability, unable to work, or do anything. It's also connected to some kind of skin issue, and created serious gastrointestinal problems for me that put me on the strictest of strictest diets for almost 6 years. Visual problems started with just visual snow, but then I got illusory palinopsia (which is where you see afterimages of everything) and that's much worse. As bad as all that sounds, I managed to heal almost entirely from it all. The process has been painstakingly slow, but mental cognition has improved tremendously, the visuals are very light and almost gone entirely, my stomach problems are healing and my overall energy and happiness has improved. But, it took 6 years of total avoidance of alcohol and all drugs, as well as rare caffeine and any foods that made things worse for me. I'm pretty sure my form of HPPD is very rare to take that long to heal, but I really had no choice...if I was going to heal it was going to take complete abstinence, or I was going to die.
KeepFighting Posted December 7, 2015 Report Posted December 7, 2015 Hi folks. I've had HPPD 20 years after taking acid aged 14. Never even knew what it was until about 6 years ago - just thought I'd taken "too much acid". Anyway it's got steadily better over all these years, but recently suffered a bit of a relapse after stupidly taking cocaine. It's got me wondering - what else may have prolonged my HPPD, or slowed my recovery. I've never been big on drugs but have always drunk alcohol. Never thought alcohol would be an issue, but am I wrong? Have read a few comments now from people who seem to have has bad experiences with alcohol?
KeepFighting Posted December 7, 2015 Report Posted December 7, 2015 Hi folks. I've had HPPD 20 years after taking acid aged 14. Never even knew what it was until about 6 years ago - just thought I'd taken "too much acid". Anyway it's got steadily better over all these years, but recently suffered a bit of a relapse after stupidly taking cocaine. It's got me wondering - what else may have prolonged my HPPD, or slowed my recovery. I've never been big on drugs but have always drunk alcohol. Never thought alcohol would be an issue, but am I wrong? Have read a few comments now from people who seem to have has bad experiences with alcohol?
trip into hell Posted December 8, 2015 Report Posted December 8, 2015 I hear you - it really sucks. I'm so happy for you that your HPPD is gone!!! That's amazing! Panic disorder is awful - but also treatable. I am so aware that the party is over for the rest of my life - I can deal with that. I just thought I could attend and be sober - but turns out there is too much risk of second-hand pot smoke. I'm wondering if this setback will pass, and if anyone else has had a similar experience? thanks! ive treated myself the best i could...but i seem to be stuck at this stage and dont know what to do to get any better i think ive done everything possible. ..these days i dont get panic attacks randomly anymore and as i mentioned i can smoke small amounts of weed but its not quite the same as before my onset + if i smoke more i get a serious panic attack. yes you will get better ..when i had hppd i had some relapses from druguse too but fortunately i never took more than extremely small amounts...for me it took 2 hellish weeks to recover from that. you must hang in peanut, and dont give up the hope but let go the idea of a cure..sometimes you need to give up first to have any chance to win. im sorry that you cant enjoy drugs and partys anymore...try to see life as only a single stage of existence and if your time here is over you can look forward to a way better place...im not religious...i dont know but when i smoked dmt i came to the conclusion that it must be this way (since dmt is released in the brain if we die and able to simulate death) and these days this idea gives me comfort and the power to hang in again... i hope this is helpful in some way.
peanuttiest Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Posted December 9, 2015 KeepFighting - many have said alcohol makes them worse - it seems to be an individual basis kind of thing. Why not try cutting it out for a while and see what happens? Especially while your brain is particularly sensitive right now. I never thought I could cut out alcohol but I have had to - my vision means more to me. Non-alcoholic beer is surprisingly good! Non-alcoholic wine, on the other hand...not so much. Trip Into Hell - THANK YOU for your words of encouragement...I need them badly right now as I can hardly look at lights - the photosensitivity went through the roof today. I'm hoping it calms down in a couple of weeks - to think I was so much better a few days ago and now in many ways (but not all!) it's back to square 1 with the vision (not with the mood!). Have you received help with panic disorder from a specialist? You hang in there too! If you can rid yourself of the visuals of HPPD, you can certainly tackle the mental health component!
trip into hell Posted December 9, 2015 Report Posted December 9, 2015 peanut the best you can do is stop obsessing (and maybe take valerian or lavender to calm down a little bit) and the best way to do this is giving up about getting better first...i know it sounds weird. and the golden rule i was following never take chemicals to treat this i found that even if they patch unwanted symptoms..they can not treat anything and will lead to long term irreversible damage...and you want to heal not destroy yourself. + avoid unnecessary and unhealthy stress and let time pass...all the best im in psycho therapy and i dont know if it helps...i think ive made the biggest progress on my own..dont know if there is anything out there that really helps instead of naturals...i think its always good to talk to someone about it...but to answer your question..i havent been to a specialist...i hope it will get better somehow.and feel terrible the last days cause i caught a fucking cold.
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