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DP And DR, or brain damage?


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if anyone would tell me, if this is looks like HPPD, or not, i would be very grateful... i see world dry, foggy, and distant. and brainfog. the rest symptoms i wrote . (include visual) 

 1. slowness (but now not. after some coffeine i feel better and even can dance, but mind still slow or weird, like in smoke you know), slowed thinking (subjectivly) 

2. feel myself like brain damaged or oligophrenic, while can speak even on philosophical themes, even not in my main language,(sorry guys, my english not ideal, i think i can practise with you guys)

3. visual things like floaters, some visual noice, afterimages when look at sky (sky seems bright, sometimes very), light, or even on just things, or when coming in dark room. also very strange feeling when i look on geometric things like exercise book (square sheet), a regular square tiles, sometimes wallpaper looks strange (wallpapers i think because of snow) , or even my jacket, sleeve on pereferic sight it can flash or look weird, i can't explain it, it can move or just look weird. i think some traces but not very heavy. almost everything, except afterimages and noice is when i'm stoned (look down what i mean by stoned)

when i look at the some pages (websites with wavy structure or even if not wavy), and turn my eyes away, i can see wavy or fluted shit in few seconds, like 5 or about so. it's afterimage? if yes, i experience it often. it's like you watch the sun, and you can spot after it,. when i look at words, i notice them like they outlined or with halo, can't say if its visual noice or something else. blue field entopic, but i think it's normal. 

 
 

just tried to stare at wallpaper for few seconds, noice, and it's very strange, few of the pieces of wallpaper changes, it's maybe because of light, not everywhere i can see that. i think i experienced something like this while trippin shhroms

4. in centre of sight some little sparks sometimes, it's hard to notice, or that because of visual snow idk they are pretty same

5.memory is bad, can forget words or things, but i heard derealization may be reason

6. main, (with mind slow and bad memory, and staring in point in front of my eyes, like indica stone,) the derealization (or maybe it's not). world seems distant, mind is foggy, really foggy, everything is not like it have to be. like i'm under hood, not just visual perception is distant , mind is foggy and distant too. year ago i experienced shit like that, ( i even came to psychiatrist) and i was also experiencing feeling of no thought, "empty head"

7. sometimes hard to speak, idk why, voice seems weird, i can say shit inapposite, or say something without any reasons, so i'm very inapposite. sometimes forget words. (probably depersonalization? voice seems weird )

8. hypochondria and paranoia, i think i'm brain damaged, oligophrenic, schizophrenia, and other mental disorders. people often say something against me, or wanted to call cops and shit (even if they are not, i think they are going to do bad things, or watch out for cars, even sometimes watch for cops. no hallucination just suspicion and mistrust. (there is reasons for worry, but not so paranoid)

9.after run (i started running, thought that this will help me) i felt myself really worse, stoned as fuck and fogged. it's getting worse after physical exercise. also i think i'm feeling myself better tonight than after waking up.

10. when stoned, and my eyes stare at 1 point, then can unfocus and it's really hard sometimes to move my body (even when my eyes stoned i can type, that what i'm doing now, sometimes hard to move in another pose, while can speak and do something, so body and sight are "nailed". also strange feeling in body (like i'm becoming stone, excatly stone, or froze)

11. some headaches but it's maybe bcz of smart drugs, they are dilates blood vessels so not sure.

 

 

i'm sleeping from 5 to 7 hours, sometimes 8, somewhen 8-12, or more and i still feel myself foggy and slow.

so it's not always easy to speak with other people, hard to concentrate bcz when i relax even on 1 second i start to stone. people just can notice i'm abit slow and that's all, if i don't tell them they probably will not notice my troubles, so i think maybe it's ALL subjectivly and i'm not brain damaged? even no IQ lose? hppd isn't brain damage, i want to know is this is hppd or i burn my brains bcz of drugs ? not heavy use

 

 

it may looks like brain damage but i think the foggy mind, memory, and distant and strange perception it's worst, visual things not getting me sick. i think it's DP and DR, not encephalopathy. i did review of my head blood vessels is okay, some little troubles with venous drainage in one side, but it's not bad. i did smart drugs, lots of them, they maybe even helped me, but my mind and perception are still foggy and distant. i have seen neurologogist, i think i visited 3 or even more. they said, vasoneurosis, astenia, hypochondria (3 different diagnosis from 3 doctors), said sleep more get rest and shit, but it started in summer, i was sleeping alot when it started, so idk. sometimes it was even hard to read a book, but now i think i'm able to read. 

 

p.s sorry for my english, i want to go sleep now, and you know that i think i'm very stupid after that starts,,,so sorry.please tell me can be this HPPD ? in my opinion, i want it to be DP DR not braindamage

p.s2 no depression when i think it's hppd and it will gone, when i think i will live with that, i feel myself bad. but still good mood at all, i try to keep it

p.s3 The visual problems of HPPD can occur along with other mental ailments. Of these, the most prominent are anxietypanic attacksdepersonalization disorder, and depression.

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All of this is very similar to what I experience but I also see colors plus walls appear to breath or they even appear to be melting. I have a bunch of other visuals that are very hard to describe. My memory is pretty bad. I read a book and then I almost instantly forget what I just read. I sometimes forget an entire day at school. I would often feel like I'm going insane. Before I ever knew what HPPD and dp/dr was, I thought I had brain damage and had no idea what was going on with me. If I relax, I all of a sudden become stoned and it's very hard to get out of it. I sometimes start tripping out even though I hadn't taken any drugs and it just would hit me for no reason. I also get the headaches but I got used to them most of the time and only bothers me when they get very bad.

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Oops it cut me off. Following a conversation or listening to a teacher speak is very difficult as my brain just fogs up. I always feel like I'm not really here. I'm just watching my entire life from 3rd person like from behind a screen. Some people may disagree but I think HPPD and dp/dr could be some kind of "damage"

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...no you dont have schizophrenia..a schizophrenic doesnt know that hes schizophrenic...thinking that hes thoughts are real without doubting himself..and what you describe sounds very similar to hppd or just an anxiety disorder...so far im still not sure if hppd isnt just an enhanced kind of anxiety disorder...cause the symptoms of both are very similar so they can easily be confused...i recommend you to look up hppd and anxiety disorder symptoms in comparison to see whats most applicable.

 

for example dp/dr is a symptom of anxiety, not hppd but i think hppd could lead to anxiety....so its somehow all the same

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