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It all just piles up ????????

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HPPD, depersonalization, derealization, unsupportive parents, and a bunch of other shit but now, I gotta deal with a huge loss in my life. I could no longer feel love for anyone in my life except one of my dogs. This is a bigger deal than the thoughts of losing my parents. She is the last thing I can actually bond with and love and now, I'm probably going to have to put her down just in time for my 17th birthday in a few days. Had a very bad panic attack but it was different. It was a very teary eyed panic attack while I just sat with her holding her tightly. Visuals 10 times worse and severe headache with bad pain in my chest. I don't want to let go she's all I have left. Having stressful shit happen to you with HPPD and dp/dr is the worst. please lord go easy on me for once ????????

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