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theguywithaplan
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Hello hppdonline i guess like most new members i am quite unsure what the actual problem is if it is hppd or what. I was a daily weed smoker for many years and have tried psychedelics (shrooms and acid) last time being over 2 years ago, i suffer from severe anxiety and panic disorder earlier this year my anxiety was really bad and i was getting panic attacks on a daily basis, after one particulary bad panic attack i got dp\dr and a host of visual symptoms that started along with the dp.I also started to get bad nightmares that jolted me awake every nigh with a feeling that my head was on fire, according to several forums a part of my symptoms could be caused by anxiety but still i cannot fully ignore my history of drug use.

 

my visual  symptoms

-floaters 

- Static\afterimages(worse when i have just woken up)

- Slight starbursting

- Slight ghosting from bright objects especially if there's a black background and white text (also at it worst when i have just woken up and is almost nonexistent in the evenings)

 

 a few of the symptoms has slightly improved especially the afterimages and all symptoms seems to get more intense when i am anxious and get really bad if i am panicking, the dp is almost completly gone but i still have some derealization and feelings of unreality, this has been going on for 8 months now, does the visuals have a chance of leaving completly at some point?, if i have hppd it seems to be quite a mild case dont have trailing closed eyed visuals objects moving or swaying etc. just the above mentioned ones.

So what do you guys think?

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Thank you for your answer man i apreciate it, the ghosting was the thing that made ne suspect hppd,my final question would be that is 8 months too long of a time to hope a full recovery? My dept perception was completly fucked in the beginning and that has returned to normal and i no longer see colored afterimages after going from a light to dim enviroment,i mostly started see the afterimages from objects a few months ago after reading about hppd i dont really notice them unless i look for them. I do feel kind of selfish for asking questions like this when i know that people here go through a lot more messed up visuals than i have but i do feel that the people here know more than most other sources.

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I was like this a few years back after many years of daily weed smoking and a couple if really intense mdma experiences. Intense anxiety and dp/dr with slight spacial distortions. Just like you I was very ill for some months and then gradually recovered from the dp/dr and visual distortions over the following year.

You'll be alright, but you HAVE to stay away from all drugs. Weed in particular is the absolute worst for anxiety. Go easy on the caffeine and alcohol as well.

Don't ever think that because you recover you can go back to getting high. After recovery I went back to smoking and eventually got into speed, coke and psychedelics. It happens so easily. Now four years on I have a serious case of hppd/anxiety/stress which is likely to take years to recover from.

Why don't you tell us a little more about your life? Do you have anyone close to talk to about all of this? What about your family?

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well i was a daily weed smoker for many years and have done other drugs too but very infrequently, tried mdma and acid shrooms ayahuasca a few times but never used anything on a regular basis expect weed, in the beginning i was a total mess when i had no idea what was going on, i was completly isolated and was unable to go to store by myself, i quit my job. Now i am physically a lot better than i was, i still feel kind of sick and off but i believe that one is anxiety related, the visuals have slighlty improved with the static and light being brighter being the most persistent one. I do have a very supportive family and circle of friends so i have not been alone with all this.

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That's great man! Sounds to me like you have a really good shot at recovery then.

Reason I align my own experience with yours is a) the daily for years weed habit b ) the rapidly improving dp/dr and c) the anxiety/panic attacks.

At the time I hadnt yet got into psychedelics. I believe my visual distortions were from the mdma use. I was having trouble with angles and distances, everything a bit wobbly and glowy, but no static, afterimages or cevs. Considering you have been exposed to acid in particular and also shrooms it makes sense that your visual symptoms are more hppd-like. I couldn't say how long your visual symptoms will persist. I am also new to hppd. Maybe someone with more hppd experience can chime in?

From what you have written and my own experience I suspect your cannabis abuse and accompanying anxiety have caused the majority of your symptoms, with the mdma and psychedelics pushing it over the top.

It's a good thing you came to realise what damage you have done to yourself at this point. I think you are very likely to make a full recovery such that looking back you can consider this a scare. The anxiety may be the part that takes the most time and effort to overcome, but given a healthy social life you have a great chance of beating it.

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Thanks dude it means a lot to me, anxiety and Daily panic attacks definitly was a trigger for me and it seems that my symptoms are mich milder than with most hppders the static is not super intense and i only started noticing the afterimages after i read about hppd, i dont have any cevs or psychedelic vision in general. I last used mdma over a year ago and psychedelics much longer than that, i mostly smoked weed and drank occasionally

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