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Positive effects from derealization


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So I went on a long ass bike ride to the beach and through the wetlands this morning and then I stopped near the site of an old ww2 bunker (now it's a bunch of BMX hills) and just sat there enjoying being outside away from my prison (house). The derealization got more intense (I don't want to say worse cuz this actually felt good) from all that bike riding and running up hills but it all seemed like a very good dream that I didn't want to end. I then continued to sit there and then i started feeling like I was high and it was awesome. Not a single negative thought went through my head. Has anybody ever felt like this ?

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youre crazy im a little afraid of the dizzyness cause i always think that i can feel the world spinning and losing controll..since i fear that sansation i think i can now imagine what an epileptic is going through.

 

today i smoked a cig with a small amount of weed mixed in out in nature and drank a glass of 20% alcohol before..when i was at home...after i smoked the cig i felt dizzy all day but it stopped being intense already a few minutes after smoking..

 

i cant understand how this feels great but if you like it its maybe just my anxiety after all dp/dr is an anxiety disorder and before my onset i never had problems smoking tobacco and even enjoyed it..now it might trigger anxiety for me cause my worst fear is to experience endless dizzyness and helplessness or seizures (even though i never had seizures)

 

fuck i have to face that fear and defeat it!!

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ah ok...but i know many people toking who arent lazy...pot has many strains with different effects + everyone reacts different to pot in general and even different strains..its a drug with a wide range of different reactions for many people..remember how many cannabinoids there are and every single one has specific effects.

 

i bet there are strains which release dopamin.

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