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It sucks

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I have had derealization for I don't remember how long. It sucks when I do fun things but it doesn't feel real and the memory was like a dream. I was just swimming with dolphins in Hawaii earlier today and i feel like I dreamed it. All of my memories are like this. Been in Hawaii for a week now and it all feels like a dream.

I have also been suspecting that I have depersonalization after having 3 diphenhydramine trips 3 nights in a row starting on the 4th of July. Ever since the day after the 3rd trip, I been feeling little to no emotion except for 2 days after taking magnesium pills where I felt a new kind of depression that I never felt before but I can hardly feel anything but anger or slight sadness now. I have felt isolated from everyone since I started doing drugs a year and a half ago and I don't feel any kind of affection for my own family but I don't think that is part of depersonalization. I don't feel very exited about certain things the way I used to and I find it very hard to have empathy but I find it easier and easier to open up on this site

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