Not sure what is going on

[CMM]

In 1997 I was big into smoking pot, never had a problem. I tried other small things, nothing heavy. I tried LCD once and had a bad experience for about 30 minutes and then was fine. Never had any lasting effects. I did xtacy a few times and had 1 bad time on it where I experienced panic attacks. It actually made me stop everything. I got pretty depressed back then and eventually was put on medicine since I had an eating disorder as well, it was due time. I never ever once experienced any visual problems.

In 2006 I was going through a rough time, I got sick and was on a medicine for blood pressure. Once coming off of the medicine I started getting depressed (was not on any antidepressants). I started having panic attacks which I hadn't in years. Then I started getting the depersonalization. I saw little floaters and tiny spots and sperm type things in my vision. I was put on the antidepressant immediately and things got better.

In 2008 I went through a bad break up and was under stress. Lost my mom and was pregnant. I started seeing trails one day and ignored it. I have a problem with my thyroid and though that was the problem. Well I started seeing halos shortly after that. After I had my son I tried the antidepressant because I was feeling the DP again. After a few weeks my eyes started hurting so I tried a new one and within a few days I saw the static. I freaked out and shortly after that came that afterimages and the trails were constant. I had not done any drugs at all and do not understand what could of happened to me. Does this sound like HPPD? Has anyone heard of this happening??

[VisualDude]

There is familiarity to what you describe - just longer to fully develop than most.

What was the medicine you took in the late 1990s?

What was the blood pressure med you discontinued in 2006?

What was the antidepressant you started then?

What was the antidepressant you started in 2008?

Can you describe in what ways your eyes started hurting?

So now its been about 3 years and you are still taking some meds?

[CMM]

In the late 90's the drug was acid and then xtacy. I was put on Prozac. for the depression which was fine. I had no lasting effects. Then I got a condition called Graves disease which is a metabolic disorder. The medicine I was put on for the fast heart rate, which was the beta blocker, was Propranolol. I stopped taking it because my depth perception went funny while on it and I couldn't breathe good. I was fatigued and started getting headaches. Once slowly tapering I started getting depression and anxiety. That is when I started seeing spots like floaters and things that looked like gnats. Once I took the prozac, it was like the world came back. Colors were nice, I had hope inside of me and all the vision stuff went away. I was my old self again, well 98% to it.

Then after a year I had still been getting light sensitivity. If I went into grocery stores or sometimes late at night outside I would get it. I got glasses thinking that would help, nope. Then I started seeing the little blips of light burst while I was at work. like a little dot of white one time and then I wouldn't see it for days or weeks. Then I started seeing the sperm type things. After the stress stuff I was getting depressed and then started seeing the trails, etc. I haven't been on any meds for depression. I don't and haven't done drugs for YEARS. This scares me to think I might of done something to myself. Not that ANYONE would purposely do this to them self and it doesn't make anyone a bad person, but I have been anti drugs for so long. I know this is a rare condition and the chances of me having it are slim. I have spoken to a handful of people who have my same thyroid problem who have this as well. I don't see any really strange strange stuff though. My color vision is fine. I only see slight static in dim light, afterimages are faint and last a second or 2, and I see very faint trails in dim lighting or against the blue sky. If this is late onset HPPD what are my chances for it going away, or does this slowly get worse?? I am so scared because I have a 2 year old son. I feel like God is playing a cruel joke on me. Oh and to add I have headaches daily! As well as migraines. Is that common??

Thank you!

[CMM]

Oh and I forgot, the eye pain. Well with my thyroid disorder, it's common for eye pain... but this was like a swelling feeling. I felt pressure behind my eyes. I was also very sensitive to light again. I know this could very well lead me back to something with the anti depressant, but I guess I just need validity. Because I have done LSD even once in my past I have read it's possible. I just think that would put me in an even rarer position. The fact that these symptoms are developing slowly over time would make me think it's related to my thyroid condition.... but I wanted to see if anyone else had ever heard of it here.

[CMM]

Also, I read somewhere on here about LarryC I believe who took a beta blocker and it made him see static. Could a Beta blocker... or going off of one caused this for me? It was propanolol.

Thanks!

[VisualDude]

Briefly tried Propranolol for a short time to see if it would address visuals, tremor (or anything). It was slightly calming but had no real change. I avoided a long term trial since, unless there is significant benefit, there is no justification to continue with a med. And didn’t want to risk ED.

Am surprised that Prozac helped visuals including color. Often increasing dopamine helps, and increasing serotonin tends to lower dopamine.

Graves disease is no fun. And it is difficult to know if is to causal or just comorbid.

If you Google "graves disease dopamine", you will see that there is a connection between the thyroid and dopamine. However, my brain is too tired right now to grasp what is going on or what is significant about it. Perhaps you can make sense of it. I will have to try later.

I identify with several of your symptoms. The eye pressure feels almost like suction cups are pulling on them. Often wished I could somehow wash them out in the ocean (strange of course). Gabapentin relieves some of this and the light sensitivity. And may partially address (negative) afterimages.

Do you find that your peripheral vision is VERY sensitive to motion?

I am so scared because I have a 2 year old son. I feel like God is playing a cruel joke on me

It is understandable. But you will not die. You are addressing your Graves disease – the more serious than the visuals. People don’t die from HPPD. They either get better or get used to it. You will be there to love your son and provide what he need. As for God, he isn’t cruel but it takes some getting used to, the fact that bad things are allowed.

As for guilt about taking LSD. What is done is done. No one can change the past. The only purpose of guilt is to prompt one to change their course of action. You have already done so – you don’t take recreational drug and you try to live a happy, productive live. So ditch the concern and focus on the positives – this may ease your burden.

Hope this is helpful…

[CMM]

Thank you! You have eased a lot of my wprry!

No problems with my peripheral. When this started my thyroid was actually getting bigger... it produces nodules and is swollen now twice it's normal size. I had someone contact me from a thyroid message board who has the same symptoms. I am thinking their must be a link somewhere.

As for the gabapentin, I am so afraid of meds. I have seen a few different neurologists and they are all throwing antiepileptic/migraine meds at me and all of them have increase trails.

The vision stuff doesn't bother me so much as the headaches being 24/7 and the migraines coming at least once every week or so. It seems to be the cause of my depersonalization as well.

I am going to look up the graves disease and dopamine concept. You may be on to something and I appreciate you looking into that for me. Their are a number of TSH receptors all through out the brain and this involves the thyroid directly.

Best wishes to you and God bless you and everyone on this board. I will be praying for everyone!

[Merkan]

That visual thing is very interesting when it comes to serotonin and dopamine. Since i started my keto-diet everything became much better. Carbohydrates are important in the process of transporting 5-HTP to the brain which increases the serotonin (i am no neurologist so i do not know the exact action).

When i took a step from my diet and ate 200 grams of 85% cocoa chocolate which contains high contents of 5-HTP and sugar i got visual snow that was so bad i wanted to hit the air. While taking dopamine agonist my visual processing is soooooo much better, i do not "lag", iike i am moving from one object to another but i got a smooth over-all vision, no trails, after images etc. Also i feel a LOT better in my body so its a perceptual thing i guess.

From wiki: "In addition clonazepam decreases the utilization of 5-HT (serotonin) by neurons..." Guess this is why clonazepam is the most effective benzo.

[John Smith]

Merkan from what ive gathered 5htp is bad right? I had a toblerone yesterday, and things felt and looked worse. What about foods high in 5htp such as dairy products and meat?

[LarryC]

Also, I read somewhere on here about LarryC I believe who took a beta blocker and it made him see static. Could a Beta blocker... or going off of one caused this for me? It was propanolol.

Thanks!

CMM, The actual statement I made was that Dr. Abraham told me that beta blockers were contra indicated in HPPD. My visuals which were there already since 2003, were worse since I was taking a beta blocker blood pressure medication starting in November last year. But also there were other possible causes. I stopped taking the beta blocker med a month or so ago but no improvement.

I believe also that I said that when I first took toporol(a beta blocker bp med) in 2004, I woke up with static. This true. I think I had just started taking it. It may have caused the static/phospenes to start but I can not be sure. My visuals had started in 2003 after a strenuous hike and straining my neck. They started with after images. This was not the first time I had hppd symptoms but the other times they subsided eventually. My vision in 2003 became worse over time. In 2004 at end of summer, my doc put me on the second bp med, toporol because the one bp med was not controlling my bp. I woke up with the static which got worse over time. It could have been the beta blocker. But I eventually stopped that in 2005. No improvement. Don't know what the cause or if it is reversable at this point. The thing is that when my hppd symptoms returned in 2003 after the strenuous hike, I developed high blood pressure. Never had that my whole life. And even when my weight had gone up a great amount before this al happened.

The other times I had hppd visuals, they lasted about 2 + years each time and I never had static those times. Only vaying degrees of afterimages and trails.

[LarryC]

That visual thing is very interesting when it comes to serotonin and dopamine. Since i started my keto-diet everything became much better. Carbohydrates are important in the process of transporting 5-HTP to the brain which increases the serotonin (i am no neurologist so i do not know the exact action).

When i took a step from my diet and ate 200 grams of 85% cocoa chocolate which contains high contents of 5-HTP and sugar i got visual snow that was so bad i wanted to hit the air. While taking dopamine agonist my visual processing is soooooo much better, i do not "lag", iike i am moving from one object to another but i got a smooth over-all vision, no trails, after images etc. Also i feel a LOT better in my body so its a perceptual thing i guess.

From wiki: "In addition clonazepam decreases the utilization of 5-HT (serotonin) by neurons..." Guess this is why clonazepam is the most effective benzo.

I thought the keppra and clonozapan were the reasons for your visual improvement.

Did you ever have static or phosphen like static?

[CMM]

Merkan, where do i find out more info on the diet? I am not taking any med at this time since u am scared of reactions and so id like to do this all natural. How can i naturally raise dopamine levela and not mess with seritonin.

Also LarryC thanks for replying. I spoke with Dr Abraham through email and phone. He said nothing about the beta blocker. He also said prozac has never helped nor made hppd worse. I am so confused. I have read studies online that said the beta blocker clonidine has helped a lot. And also someone who took it with fluoxetine which is the generic of prozac and got good results.

At this point i am wondering if clonidine doesnt cross the blood brain barrier as propanolol does, per q cardiologist i saw.

Merkan.... Any tme i eat sugar i feel worse, but i eat chicken and rice a lot... That would have a lot of carbs. Are cars necessary in life?

[CMM]

Also, there was a guy on the VS board who took flunarizine (sp) and all of his VS went away and he was a past HEAVY drug user in his opinion. He was seeing Dr. Goadsby in CA and he was the one who suggested it.

[ludwig80]

That visual thing is very interesting when it comes to serotonin and dopamine. Since i started my keto-diet everything became much better. Carbohydrates are important in the process of transporting 5-HTP to the brain which increases the serotonin (i am no neurologist so i do not know the exact action).

When i took a step from my diet and ate 200 grams of 85% cocoa chocolate which contains high contents of 5-HTP and sugar i got visual snow that was so bad i wanted to hit the air. While taking dopamine agonist my visual processing is soooooo much better, i do not "lag", iike i am moving from one object to another but i got a smooth over-all vision, no trails, after images etc. Also i feel a LOT better in my body so its a perceptual thing i guess.

From wiki: "In addition clonazepam decreases the utilization of 5-HT (serotonin) by neurons..." Guess this is why clonazepam is the most effective benzo.

Just to add a bit, i've essentially been on the Ketogenic diet for about a year and actually it's almost the same as the Paleo or Candida diet(which is what pennyarcade and I have an ongoing thread on, he's seeing some serious benefits so it seems) . Very very low amount of carbs, and even lower amount of sugar. Pretty much as close to none as you can get. I can't say I have necessarily have more energy but what I can say is I don't have the severe crashes of energy after eating anything. For me this was bad, I'd eat anything and seriously need to just sleep afterwords. If I avoid carbs and sugars then I don't have this issue. I'm not sure it's helped my visuals really, but hopefully the combined with keppra will help slowly.

Google these diets and work your way towards them if you're interested in a natural approach. i'm kind of merging Ketogenic with Candida diet and taking anti-candida supplements. Candida is controversial though, feel free to make your own informed decision.

Merkan, i find it interesting Cocoa does that to you. I eat a lot of it (unsweetened stuff, which is super bitter but bearable with the right foods if you are decent in the ktichen) because I thought naturally helps boost Dopamine....