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I've Had HPPD For a Year Now


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I'm Brandon and I am 16 years old. I have had HPPD for a year now and have panic attacks 3 times on a weekly basis and often see visuals in the dark and I see movement in my peripheral vision. In freshmen year January of 2014, I tried shrooms and then I tried LSD. From then to June 2014, I kept doing LSD and shrooms and starting in June 2014 I noticed the strange visuals and I would rub my eyes trying to make them go away but they were still there. Summertime i stopped doing drugs but I had brain fog and would often have a hard time understanding texts and would have to put forth a lot of effort to understand or have to re-read two or three times. People would talk to me and I would not pick up anything they were saying and would ask them to repeat themselves or I would think I heard them say something else. I just hated being in the dark cuz of the halos around bright objects and the snowing.

When sophomore year started and I started eating edibles again but I only did shrooms once and then did LSD twice in November, I was just totally having a hard time thinking and processing. I would often think about killing myself. Teachers would explain instructions to the class and i would have to raise my hand to ask them to go over it with me again and even then I didn't understand what they said but I would just pretend I understood what they said so I wouldn't piss the teacher off by having them go over it a third time.

I started doing diphenhydramine (allergy pills) this passed March but stopped after a couple months because these hangover like effects it caused wasn't worth it.

One day after doing diphenhydramine, one of my friends asks me "do you see snowy visuals in the dark?" And I said "yes. Why ?" and he asked some other questions and that's when he told me I have HPPD and that I should never do drugs again and that he also has HPPD. Ever since he brought it to my attention, I just can't stop thinking about it now unless I go outside and be active. Recently I was trying to walk home but ended up going the wrong direction and I brainlessly walked into the middle of the street. I had no idea what I was doing and none of it seemed real. Now, I am just going outside and riding my bike around and avoiding dark rooms and I keep my phone on low brightness so I don't see halos around it. LSD caused this but now diphenhydramine made it much worse

The only thing I can't avoid is the movement in my peripheral vision and it still irritates me a little bit.

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