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14 and my HPPD is back and is getting worse


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Hello

 

I am 14 and I got HPPD last summer, it was really hard to deal with the first week but then it got better and then it was almost completely gone by 2015. I felt normal a month after I got my HPPD because my symptoms had become a lot better.

I thought I was cured so I did acid again, my HPPD was even better, now it was completely cured. But a week later I started noticing tracers but I didn't worry about them until 3 weeks later on a vacation I noticed how patterns started to form like they had never done before, and static objects moving all around. 

 

I just can't deal with this, it's just getting worse and I'm so anxious about it I can't even get a good nights sleep. I fear that I will get worse and get derealization.

 

The only thing that comforts me is that I have my family and it hurts so much having to lie to them when they ask me how I feel. I set up a plan to just ignore HPPD and all hallucinogen related things but it doesen't work. Whenever I am alone with my thoughts I think about HPPD getting worse and so I get super anxious.

 

My parents caught me with LSD and I promised them not to try it but I was so curious about it that I did it. I love my parents so much and I don't wan't them to know that I lied to them like this.

 

I fucked up so bad, my HPPD pretty much cured and now I fuckinng ruined it ;(

 

My questions are:

Should I tell my parents?

Should I worry about it getting worse?

How do I get past my anxiety?

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Friend, I'm almost 19, so still quite young and in many ways still dependent on my parents (though I no longer live with them) and I can tell you that telling your parents is a no-brainer. Unless they're the type to throw you out of the house or disown you, they can and will do nothing but help. I told my mother about my condition and instead of her criticizing my choice to use drugs she began looking for ways to help me.

 

At this point you understand the consequences of your actions so any sort of punishment would be useless and, believe it or not, most parents probably feel the same way as me. The fact that your parents ask you how you feel tells me that they care about you, please let them.

 

As long as you don't use any more drugs it shouldn't get worse. There are some anecdotal reports of weed being fine to use but that isn't the norm so you shouldn't count on it. I smoked weed twice post-hppd and while I didn't notice any worsening at the time I can only wonder if some of my symptoms that came on later wouldn't have if I hadn't smoked that weed. Alcohol seems to be a bit more iffy in terms of it getting worse.

 

Getting past anxiety is all a matter acceptance and moving forward. I still more or less constantly have a mental awareness of my condition even if I'm not actually noticing it in my vision. I'm basically constantly in a state of minor anxiety though it gets better every day and I do occasionally go for an hour or so without thinking about it. I cherish these hours and they're becoming more frequent. My point is that there isn't much short of drugs you can do about anxiety but it does get better with time. Hell, you're 14 and have been dealing with this for longer than I am and I'm basically 19, you've got time.

 

You're 14 years old, I know you feel grown and mature, but you aren't. I'm 19 and I feel grown and mature but I'm positive that in five years I'll look back at my current age and laugh about how immature I was. You're growing, your brain is developing and, while I'm not a neurologist, I'd bet you have a better chance at recovery simply due to your young age than even I do.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Don't tell your parents, they can't help you. Derailization isn't something wrong with your brain so don't worry about that, it's only brought on by anxiety and worrying. You can't do anything about the visuals, just don't do any drugs for a while and ignore them as much as you can, I'm see your life will return to normal even with a few minor visual changes such as HPPD.good luck man

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Don't tell your parents, they can't help you. Derailization isn't something wrong with your brain so don't worry about that, it's only brought on by anxiety and worrying. You can't do anything about the visuals, just don't do any drugs for a while and ignore them as much as you can, I'm see your life will return to normal even with a few minor visual changes such as HPPD.good luck man

Simply false, not telling one's parents about crippling anxiety over something leads to more anxiety, I know this. Just knowing that my mother knows what I'm going through has helped me immensely as I no longer need to hide it from her. Just because someone can't make any objective changes to your condition doesn't make them useless in your struggle. This kid is 14 years old, let him fall back on his parents.

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Simply false, not telling one's parents about crippling anxiety over something leads to more anxiety, I know this. Just knowing that my mother knows what I'm going through has helped me immensely as I no longer need to hide it from her. Just because someone can't make any objective changes to your condition doesn't make them useless in your struggle. This kid is 14 years old, let him fall back on his parents.

You don't know his parents or his situation completely buddy
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You don't know his parents or his situation completely buddy

Neither do you, however I think the norm is for parents to be supportive and since he clearly said that his parents ask him about his emotions I think we can infer that his are. and even so, I'm willing to bet more harm is done by keeping anxiety bottled up than is done by informing someone who may not be supportive(though unlikely)
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Neither do you, however I think the norm is for parents to be supportive and since he clearly said that his parents ask him about his emotions I think we can infer that his are. and even so, I'm willing to bet more harm is done by keeping anxiety bottled up than is done by informing someone who may not be supportive(though unlikely)

We are all struggling friend
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